This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user shares detailed, nuanced personal experiences and emotions, including a spouse and children, which is complex for a bot to fabricate consistently. The language is passionate and critical but aligns with known perspectives of genuine, frustrated detransitioners. The advice given is specific and personal, not generic.
About me
I was born male and my desire to be female started from a place of deep loneliness, separate from any social pressures. I transitioned but found the online community to be toxic and fueled by untreated mental health issues, so I left it completely for my own safety. I now live stealth, no longer identifying with that label or community. My feelings were real, but I believe you can have them and still just be yourself without changing your identity. I've found peace by focusing on my family and building real connections in my local community.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started from a very lonely and difficult place. I was born male and grew up feeling a lot of pressure to be a certain way—tough, unemotional, and good at hard labor. There was very little emotional support, and I felt a deep lack of meaningful connection with anyone. I saw a lot of violence and intimidation around me. I also spent a lot of time with girls and saw that their world had its own huge set of problems, like sexual harassment and different kinds of bullying. It wasn't that I thought life would be easier as a girl; I knew it would be hard in other ways. My desire to be female felt separate from all that, like it was its own thing.
For a long time, I felt completely alone, like I was the only person in the world who felt this way. Then, suddenly, it seemed like everyone was talking about being trans. I saw whole friend groups and classes where multiple people came out as trans around the same time. That felt like a red flag to me. It made me question the role social influence plays in all this. The definitions seemed to get so broad, and the idea that you didn't need dysphoria to be trans became widespread. People acted like there were no consequences.
I did end up transitioning, but I eventually realized the community I had entered was incredibly toxic and unhealthy for me. It was fueled by a lot of untreated mental health issues. For my own safety and sanity, I had to completely cut myself off from it. I am as stealth as possible now; I don't advertise my past or identify with that community anymore. I don't see most people in it as being related to my experience at all.
My thoughts on gender are pretty straightforward now. I believe human beings are born male or female. The feelings I had were real and felt innate to me, but that doesn't change my sex. I was a male who had those experiences. "Trans" is just an identity that people can adopt; it's not something you inherently are. You can feel everything I felt and still just be you, without having to take on that label.
I do have regrets. I worry about the consequences that I think are too often brushed aside. My wife and kids have been deeply affected, and they've begged me to stay out of these spaces, though I feel compelled to speak out because I worry for other families. I joined a group called the Gender Dysphoria Alliance to try and do something about it.
Looking back, the best thing I did for myself was to leave the online community and find real connections elsewhere. I got a hobby and started volunteering. I found meaning by connecting with people in my local community about normal, everyday things, not centered on identity.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| N/A | N/A | Felt a persistent desire to be female, independent of social pressures. |
| N/A | N/A | Noticed a sharp rise in trans identification among peers, leading to questioning. |
| N/A | N/A | Transitioned (socially/medically). |
| N/A | N/A | Recognized the toxicity of the online trans community and detached completely. |
| N/A | N/A | Joined the Gender Dysphoria Alliance. |
| N/A | Present | Live stealth; focus on family, hobbies, and local community. |
Top Comments by /u/ReadditYo:
You need a change it sounds like. The best thing I did was I don’t associate with any of the community as much as possible. It’s so toxic and so unhealthy that for my own safety and sanity I cut myself from it. Most people gravitating to it I think have mental health issues.
I’m as stealth as possible, I don’t advertise and I don’t identify or out myself. I don’t recognize the community and most in it as even related to me.
In its place get out and be with other people. Join a club or get a hobby that you can connect with people through. Or volunteer to help do something in your community.
Human beings are born male or female. The feelings you feel are real, sound innate, and authentic to you. What this means is up to you. You are a female with these experiences, traits and characteristics. Trans is an identity people adopt. The description you made of yourself doesn’t make you trans - it makes you, you. You don’t have to adopt it, if you don’t want to.
I grew up a boy. My experience was a lot of hard labor, high expectations, and very little emotional support or outlet. I struggled in every way and was lonelier and lacked any real meaningful connection. Violence and potential for pain was very real. Threats and intimidation and indiscriminate targeting and lack of communication in general.
I had no sisters but was friends with and hung out with girls quite a bit. I found their experiences to equally disturbing. Sexual harassment, body issues, lack of expectations in regards to independence, cruelty and bullying was emotional and sometimes violent. I found them even more competitive than boys. Physical changes were more traumatizing, pregnancy and adulthood was thrust on them earlier than on boys.
I should say that there were pros and cons to each and this is a generalized observation as I also did experience some wonderful things from boys and girls and group dynamics sometimes were great. A lot of this behavior, culture, environment, etc. none of this really mattered to me, and for myself, my desire to be a girl ran independent from these. It was no grass is greener on the other side, besides the path to the other side was fraught and full of issues and compromises that made it very unattractive a process.
I agree social factors are playing a role for all of us to some degree. For me it’s a no brainer when groups of trans people show up in one class or in friend groups all around the same time - it should raise red flags or questions. I went most of my life without ever hearing about or knowing anyone who was trans and I felt like I was maybe the only person out there. Now I have a dozen or more people identifying as something a stones throw from my home. Part of the issue I think can also be contributed to the wide open definitions being used to define who is trans, lack of needing gender dysphoria, wide spread belief that this has no consequences, etc.
I’m with you there too. My wife and kids are begging me to stay out of it. They have valid concerns but I feel so compelled. I worry for all the other spouses and kids out there. I joined the gender dysphoria alliance online. We are a group of people trying to do something about it. Come check us out.