This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They describe a specific trauma related to misogyny and a complex relationship with gender that aligns with a desister's perspective (someone who considered transition but did not pursue it). The passion and anger expressed are consistent with a genuine person who has experienced harm.
About me
I grew up with a lot of shame about being female, especially after my father shamed me for getting my period. I thought I wanted to be a boy because I believed it would let me escape harassment and the constant judgment women face. I realized I didn't actually want a male body; I just wanted the safety and freedom I thought men had. Looking back, I see I was trying to run from trauma and misogyny by changing myself. Now I'm a happy woman who understands my discomfort was never with my gender, but with how the world treats women.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep discomfort, but not with who I was. It started with how the world treated me for being a girl. My dad was a huge part of that. When I got my first period, he told me I was gross and that I should be able to mentally "will it away." He was my only guardian, and having to ask him for pads was a nightmare. It made me hate my own reproductive system and feel deeply uncomfortable with being female. It also made me really dislike men for a long time.
I didn't hate being a girl, but I hated the constant, unwanted attention that came with it. The catcalling, the harassment, the feeling that every little thing I did was being watched and judged. I remember seeing a TV show where a young girl dressed as a boy because "people leave boys alone." That line hit me so hard. I cried because I understood that feeling completely. If, as a kid, someone had told me I could avoid all that pain and fear by becoming a boy, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I wanted to be left alone.
For a while, I even thought, "I do want to be a boy," but what I really meant was that I wanted the safety and the freedom from shame that I thought boys had. I didn't actually want a male body; I wanted to escape the negative experiences that came with my female one. I loved being a woman and my body, but I hated the social baggage that was forced on me.
I identified as pansexual and was a strong ally to both trans and detrans people. I saw the pain that could lead someone to transition, and I believed that pain needed to be listened to, not dismissed. I argued that we shouldn't ignore people who felt they were groomed or misled; we should instead focus on weeding out the actual predators so they don't ruin things for everyone else. I hated seeing anyone's experiences be invalidated.
Looking back, I see my own thoughts about wanting to be a boy were a form of escapism. I was running from trauma and the low self-esteem that came from my upbringing. I never actually transitioned medically or even socially. I'm grateful for that now because I know it would have been a mistake for me. I was trying to solve a problem of trauma and misogyny by changing myself, instead of addressing the real issues.
I don't regret exploring these feelings because it helped me understand myself better. I now know that my discomfort was never with my gender, but with how society treats my gender. I am a woman, and I'm happy to be one. I love my body and its functions. My journey taught me to separate my own identity from the pain that others inflicted on me.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | My first period; my dad shamed me for it, leading to a deep discomfort with my female body and functions. |
| (Various ages in my 20s) | Explored feelings of wanting to be a boy to escape harassment and trauma, but never pursued any medical or social transition. |
| (Various ages in my 20s) | Realized my desire to be male was rooted in escapism and a wish to avoid misogyny, not in a true transgender identity. |
| Now | I am a happy woman who understands my past struggles were about trauma, not gender identity. I have no regrets about not transitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/ReanimatorLove:
This made me think of that scene on AJ and the queen on Netflix.
Rupaul made the mistake of assuming because AJ dresses down that they are a boy but finds out later it’s a girl. He reacts the way most progressive thinkers do by inquiring if AJ wants to actually be a boy then this exchange literally made me cry:
“I never said I wanted to be a boy,
I said i didn’t want to be a girl.”
“If you didn’t want to be a boy why are you pretending to be one?”
“Because people leave boys alone.”
I can not begin to put into words how much I wanted to be left alone on certain occasions as a girl, the experiences and trauma still feel fresh sometimes.
If I were a kid again and someone told me I could circumvent all that harassment, pain, and general terror by just becoming a boy I would have jumped that ship years ago.
I’m happy to be a woman, I love being a woman, I love my body and my functions, I just hate the constant attention over EVERY LITTLE MOVE OR EVERY LITTLE THING WE DO.
My dad told me I was gross when I started my period and needed pads, I dreaded asking him to take me to get some because he would rant the whole way about how I should be mentally stronger and “will my period away.” As my only legal guardian within reach it was a nightmare to be raised by such a narcissistic pig.
He’s part of the reason I sincerely dislike men and to this day am uncomfortable with my own reproductive system. Why anyone would want to feel this way is beyond me, men don’t truly understand periods or what it’s like to have them and they never will.
So you’re literally denying these people’s rights and thoughts that they were being groomed?
I mean I get being groomed is shitty and nasty and perpetrated by evil manipulative people (which is of course why you wouldn’t want to associate that with trans) but I’m sure their experiences are valid.
Instead of denying it we should narrow in on the predators and weed them out so those INDIVIDUALS don’t represent the whole.
So all of them, you’re literally denying all of them because you read a few stories here. I’m not talking about those stories, I’m talking about the very real issues that some experience.
Just because you want to think something is perfect does not mean a few bad seeds don’t make their way in. Stop protecting the predators and maybe they won’t be grouped in with trans individuals?
If this isn’t the most perfect example of irony I don’t know what is. Stop trying to invalidate people, it’s fucking wrong.
Yeh, I had someone tell me my sexuality was invalid because there were only two genders (i identify as pansexual)...
I mean I get the arguments and love the GC tough discussions now and again but the ones wandering around the sub invalidating people need to get the boot ASAP.
Hello! I would like to pretend to be one of your classmates that you’ve told you are a transman who just found out you are detransitioning because you realize that’s not what you want.
Congrats! I hope you find happiness in life whatever path you choose and I hope people are just as kind to your detransition as they were to your transition. Thanks for having the courage to be you and I hope being you (whichever you, you want to be) brings you joy as it should because you are unique and there is no one like you out there no matter what gender you present as. I wish you all the luck and support possible in your journey. Don’t feel bad, you are not a liar, your intention was not to harm or purposely lead people on, you were just being you and that’s alright.
I’m a cis pansexual ally too and I support trans and detrans individuals whole heartedly but I’ve learned to recognize the underlying pain on a personal level.
I hate being complimented, even when it’s meant earnestly because it makes me feel gross because I remember all those disgusting cat calls and ill mannered animals who would talk to a little girl like that. Really fucks you up.
Like I said, if they had told me that if I dressed a little more masculine and wasn’t so girly I would have been left alone. Maybe at some point someone would have asked me if I wanted to be a boy because of that and who knows where i’d be right now. I do want to be a boy, in the sense that boys don’t have to worry about being shamed for their reproductive rights, clothing, and their breasts.
Men definitely don’t have it easy and as an adult I fully understand that now but boy oh boy as a kid it sure seemed like it when I compared my father and mother and my brothers experiences to mine.