This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user explicitly states "I'm not detrans myself" in two separate comments, so they are not claiming to be a detransitioner or desister. They are an agender/non-binary person participating in the subreddit.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic account. The comments are nuanced, emotionally varied (from supportive to frustrated), and context-specific, which is consistent with a genuine user.
About me
I started questioning my gender at 20 and realized I was agender, which for me meant not connecting with being a man or a woman. My views shifted as I saw others struggle, and I became very cautious about young people making permanent medical decisions. I believe many are influenced by trauma, autism, or being same-sex attracted and need thorough therapy, not just gender-focused care. It hurts to see our community ignore or attack detransitioners, which is the opposite of the acceptance we promise. I don't regret my social exploration, but my main feeling now is one of caution, believing everyone needs space to figure things out without pressure.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and looking back, I see how my thinking has changed. I don't identify as detransitioned myself, but my own path and the things I've seen have given me a lot of perspective.
I first started figuring out my own gender around the age of 20. I realised I was agender, which for me meant I didn't really connect with being a man or a woman. It was a confusing time, and it showed me that gender and sexuality aren't always straightforward. Because I came to this understanding a bit later, I've always been cautious about medical transition for young people. I believe that going through puberty is a crucial part of growing up, even though it's uncomfortable for almost everyone. I think people need to be older, maybe 16 or even 18, before they can make such a permanent decision.
A lot of my views were shaped by seeing others struggle. I remember talking to a parent whose child wanted to transition. I was really worried that the kid was being influenced by his mother, who seemed to be bullying him about his body. I thought it was important for that child to get therapy that looked at everything, not just gender. I suggested he get tested for autism, because I've seen that a lot of female detransitioners turned out to be autistic, or just gender non-conforming, or same-sex attracted. Sometimes, adopting a trans identity can feel like an escape from other labels or from the pain of not fitting in.
Seeing how the community treats detransitioners also really affected me. It feels incredibly hypocritical. The LGBT community says it supports everyone's journey, but detrans people are often ignored, called liars, or labelled as bigots. It's like you're only welcome if your story fits a certain narrative. You're either treated as a rare mistake, someone who's too scared to be "truly" trans, or just hateful. It's the opposite of the acceptance that's supposed to be there.
As for my own thoughts on gender now, I see it as a very personal and internal thing. I don't regret my social identification as non-binary because it was a step I needed to take to understand myself. It didn't involve any medical steps for me. My main feeling is one of caution. I believe that for some people, transition is absolutely the right path, but for others, it can be a mistake driven by other issues like trauma, internalised homophobia, or social influence. The most important thing is having the space and the right kind of support to figure it out without pressure.
Here is a timeline of my key realisations:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 20 | Realised I was agender and began identifying as non-binary. This was a social transition only. |
| 20-21 (Present) | Became more cautious about medical transition for youth after observing struggles within the community and engaging with detransition stories. |
Top Comments by /u/Reedit-98:
I’m really sorry, OP. I’m not detrans myself, but I think you could maybe have the surgery reversed to a degree. I mean, trans guys can get semi-realistic looking penises, right? You’d probably have to seek out an extremely skilled plastic surgeon, but I don’t think it’s entirely impossible. But for now, please seek some help for your mental health. That is the most important thing to do. Hope is not entirely gone, so please hang on and stay strong. Sending you hugs and good luck 💕 ☘️ 💕
I think kids have to go through puberty before they should be allowed to take any sort of hormones. Puberty sucks for everyone, and I can only imagine how painful it is for transboys and transgirls, but they simply aren’t able to make such a big decision until they’re at least 16. Maybe 18. I’ve only just figured out I’m agender and I’m 20. Gender and sexuality is confusing.
As an nb, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Gender is so personal, and the lgbt community preaches that no one should be judged for their feelings or gender identity, but detrans people are either made out to be:
a super rare phenomenon, barely worth talking about
trans/nbs too scared of being oppressed by the hetero-patriarchy to live authentically
or, at worst, TERF trash.
It’s horrendously hypocritical and the exact opposite of everything it should be. You don’t deserve to be disowned for merely having your own opinions and for realising that transitioning was not necessary for you.
That’s sad. Maybe support him in his social transition, respect his identity, but- hopefully- he won’t be able to access hormones without both parents giving consent, so he will have more time to grow up and explore himself before he makes any big decisions regarding medical transition.
I think kiddo could definitely use therapy from a more professional psychologis, and not one who is going to focus on nothing but the gender identity issue. I think a good place to start would be getting him tested for autism- a lot of FTMs who detransition turn out to simply be autistic, gender non-conforming &/or same-sex attracted, who adopt the trans label either as a way of explaining why they may not fit in with their female peers, or to escape the label “lesbian”.
For now, collect notes and log all the times the kiddo talks about his mom body-shaming and bullying him to form a case against her. After all, bullying from his own mother must qualify as some sort of emotional and/or mental abuse. The notes and logs can be used as evidence should you ever be in the position to go for custody in future, or should the abuse escalate to a degree that you think kiddo is in danger. Get a lawyer before you do make any claims against bio mom, of course. I honestly wouldn’t push too much on the trans stuff. I’m not detrans myself but I imagine that he’d react negatively to you delegitimising his current identity. You might just drive him further into his mother’s abusive arms if he feels unsupported. Just tell him you respect his identity but that you want him to hold off on hormones until he is 18, and until after he has undergone proper therapy to help him be sure that there is nothing external influencing his decision to live as a boy.
Good luck ☘️ x
What the ever-living fuck? I genuinely meant every word. Just cos transitioning didn’t end well for you, it doesn’t mean that transitioning is wrong for everyone. I was unsure if you were still identifying as Male but had come off T because you’d thought it had ruined your voice, or if you were a ftmtf detransitioner, so I offered advice for both scenarios. That is all. I didn’t encourage you one way or the other. I specifically said that I wished you luck, regardless of how you decided to proceed.
For fuck’s sake.