This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally raw, and internally consistent over time. It reflects a complex, painful, and contradictory experience that is common among detransitioners/desisters: the conflict of benefiting from hormones while rejecting a trans identity, deep regret over social fallout, and anger at the medical and cultural systems they feel failed them. The psychological distress and specific, nuanced descriptions of their medical history (e.g., the non-permanence of some T effects, dissociation, OCD) are not typical of a fabricated story. The account shows the passion and pain you noted as common in this community.
About me
I'm a 24-year-old female who started identifying as trans at 14 because I felt a deep discomfort with my body and puberty. I took testosterone and had surgery, which finally made me feel connected to my own skin for the first time. But my medical transition failed, and I realized I could never actually become a man. Now I'm stuck on hormones because stopping them makes my mental health plummet and my body revert, which feels terrifying. I deeply regret the path I took and wish I had found a way to just be a masculine woman instead.
My detransition story
My name isn't important. I’m a 24-year-old female, and this is the story of my transition and detransition. It’s not a happy story, but it’s my truth.
I first started identifying as a lesbian when I was around 12, and by 14, I found the word "transgender" and latched onto it. I had always felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during puberty when I developed breasts. I hated them. I felt a lot of jealousy towards men and a constant feeling that my body wasn't right. I was later diagnosed with major depressive disorder and OCD, but at the time, the only explanation and the only treatment ever offered to me for my gender dysphoria was to transition. There was no other option presented. No one ever tried to help me cope with these feelings in any other way.
I started taking testosterone when I was 20. I’d been socially transitioned for years, but the medical part came later. I fought my family tooth and nail over it. I called them bigots and ruined our relationship. I forced them to use my chosen name and pronouns. Looking back, I see how selfish and awful I was. They weren't bigots; they were normal people who were worried about their daughter, and I attacked them for it. The guilt over how I treated them is one of my biggest regrets.
The hormones, though, did something for me. I didn't feel like I was in the wrong body before taking them, but after I started testosterone, I finally saw myself in the mirror for the first time. The changes made me feel connected to my body in a way I never had before. It stopped the disassociation. My body dysmorphia got much better. I got top surgery, which I insisted on calling "chest masculinization" because "top surgery" felt like a silly term that hid what it actually was.
But it didn't work. I’ve been on testosterone for four years, and I still get gendered as female 100% of the time. My medical transition failed. I realized that it’s simply not possible for a woman to become a man. Seeing successful trans people online feels like a lie to me now because I’ve lived the reality, and it’s not real. I became incredibly angry—at myself for failing, at the world for selling me this idea, and at the political ideology I never agreed with but got roped into.
I tried to stop taking testosterone earlier this year. I wanted to detransition, to stop being trans. But when I stopped, my body started to change back. The changes I loved began to reverse, and I felt a terrifying disconnect and disgust with myself. My mental health plummeted, and I started disassociating again. I felt sick. I had to go back on hormones. I’m stuck. I don't want to be transgender anymore, but I can't stand the feeling of my body reverting to what it was. I wish I could just accept being a female, but I can't.
I’m attracted to women, and I think if the concept of transitioning had never existed, I would have grown up to be a very masculine, butch lesbian. I would have been the "dad" in a relationship, a strong woman who found other ways to cope with my body issues. I think I would have been happier. Instead, I’m a failed trans man with a ruined family life. I told my parents I’m suicidal, and they don’t seem to care. They expect me to kill myself. They have other kids. I’ve been miserable for so long I can’t even remember being happy.
I have so many regrets. I regret transitioning because it didn’t work and it cost me my family. I regret not getting proper therapy that wasn’t just about affirmation. But I don’t regret the physical changes from testosterone; they made me feel at home in my body for the first time, and that’s the horrible trap I’m in. I can’t let them go.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started identifying as a lesbian. Felt early discomfort with puberty and my developing body. |
| 14 | Learned about being transgender and began identifying as a trans man. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Underwent top surgery (chest masculinization). |
| 24 (early this year) | Attempted to stop taking testosterone but failed due to severe mental and physical distress from reversing changes. |
| 24 (now) | Currently still taking testosterone, identifying as detransitioned but medically stuck. |
Top Comments by /u/ReferenceQueasy7311:
They did not go along with my transition. I fought and begged and cried and pleaded, and eventually some of my family started to humor me but by then the relationship was ruined. I am not being hyperbolic when I say I forced them to use my chosen name/pronouns. It was tense and the guilt comes from how hard I fought them and the words I used against them during it.
I realize now that I was completely in the wrong. I was doing something selfish and bizarre and they were reacting the same way anyone else would react. Majority of the world does not go along with this gender self-identity stuff and that's where I was mistaken. My parents were not bigots, they were just normal people being attacked by a fucking psychopath
When I first came out there was no political association to being trans at all. If I had known this was the way things were going I would have never come out and never transitioned. It is unfair that I was forced to be roped in with a political ideology that I never agreed with just because of how I chose to live my life. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about how I inadvertently supported all of that
I couldn't stop taking hormones. I tried and I felt so much worse. As much as I hate to admit it the hormones made me feel better. I don't have body dysphoria anymore and when I stopped taking hormones and my body started to revert, I felt disgusted with myself. Hormones didn't turn me into the opposite sex though. I was born female and I still look completely female. I am trying to quit again but I do not want to go back to how my body used to look. My body starts to feminize and it feels like it's not my body anymore. I have tried to find a therapist who can help but they don't exist. Everyone is just affirm, affirm, affirm. I don't want to be trans anymore but I cannot stop taking the hormones. I don't know what to do
24 years old. I started identifying as trans when I was 14. I called myself a lesbian/queer a few years before that, though. I had always had gender dysphoria but no word to describe it until I learned what transgender was. I wonder if I had somehow found some other way to cope with that then I would have chosen a path other than transitioning but it was never offered. And still never offered. Only choices I have ever been given were to supress everything, or pretend to be a boy/man.
If transgender did not exist I would be a masc butch lesbian with a wife and kids. I would called Dad but in a butch woman way, not a trans way. I would find some other way to cope with gender dysphoria and jealousy of men. I will be honest I have been on testosterone for so long and I have gotten only good things from it so I cannot imagine myself without taking testosterone even as a cis woman--I disassociated so often pre-T that I do not even remember what I looked like before. So I would be a butch masc lesbian, the "father" half of my kids' parents/the "husband" half of my relationship, taking testosterone but for secondary sex characteristics not to change my sex or identify as male. Trans people would not exist I would not feel jealousy of people who have transitioned. I would not feel like I am missing anything because I could accept I am female and there's no thought of possibly ever anything else
I would be happier in that situation than here. If changing sex was not a thing ever suggested to me and never mentioned to me by others. I would not feel like anything is missing or that I had failed or that others hated me for making a decision. I would have a better chance at finding a relationship and making friends as a normal woman with a female body than a self-identifying man with a female body.
I begged my surgeron to use "chest masculinization surgery" because "top surgery" sounds so cringe and has bad connotations but everyone at that office preferred to call it "top surgery" and I think that's even the terminology used to bill insurance now because I had never seen it referred to as anything other than "top surgery." Not to mention that "top surgery" doesn't tell anything about what the surgery actually is
It's weird but I didn't feel like I was ever in the wrong body. I took T because I wanted the side effects of T and then a few months later started to recognize myself in the mirror and realized I had been living in a body that never really felt like "me," but it wasn't until after hormones for me to know that.
When I stopped taking hormones was when that "wrong body" feeling actually started. I was told changes from testosterone was permanent lol. Stuff started to reverse and I started to freak out because I was losing the body I finally came to love so I had to start taking hormones again and now I think I'm stuck taking hormones forever.
I don't want to be transgender anymore. But I don't want to feel that disconnect from my body again. I wish there was away to accept that my body is meant to be and should be female so that I can experience that "this is me" feeling without having to try to change my sex
People have said getting pregnant would help but I cannot justify bringing a kid into the world just so I can feel more like a woman
I called my parents bigots and ruined relationships with all my friends and family so I could parade around as delusional woman in men's underwear. How is that not selfish? How is that not fucking insane? Society needs to stop encouraging it and I never want to see another trans person again
I am female and I wanted to be a man and I still want to be a man even though it's not possible. My family has always wanted me to be a woman and they still want me to be a woman but they do not understand how difficult it is to get rid of these transgender feelings. I am angry all the time and angry at myself for fighting my family for so long when they have been right the entire time. I have talked to them about my feelings and they still don't understand because they cannot see how much it hurts whenever I see successful trans people or the bullshit agenda that it's possible to transition I still badly want it, or I want it gone. I cannot stand to see trans people continue to lie about how it's possible for a woman to be a man or vice versa when I have lived it and it's simply not possible. And I fought for so long with my family for nothing other than to ruin my relationship with them. And I'll accept I'm a woman and they'll love me again but it won't be the same as before because we fought so much and I hate that I failed so badly
Thanks. I'm looking into it but most of the results still seem to be stuff about transgender affirmation therapy... there's one website that offers gender confidence for teens with ROGD but it's been removed or something :( It sucks that they do not offer alternate treatment anymore, they just push people to start transitioning. I didn't get any help at all when I was a teen, I had to wait for adulthood and then the only treatment I was ever offered was to transition
I have talked to them. They say I am selfish for having put them through this and I agree 100%. They never wanted me to transition and they've said that since the day I came out. They know I want to kill myself and I don't really think they care. They know it's going to happen and expect it to happen.