This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's narrative is highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They describe a specific, complex journey of a gender non-conforming gay male who considered transition due to internalized misandry, social pressure, and anxiety, and then desisted. The language is natural, with human imperfections (e.g., typos like "jurassic" for "drastic," "diluting" for "deluding"). Their passion and anger align with the expected sentiment of someone who feels they were harmed by a ideology they once embraced. The account does not read as a manufactured caricature but as a genuine personal reflection.
About me
I'm a feminine gay man, and my journey started when I felt I didn't fit in as a guy. During the COVID lockdowns, I fell into online communities that made me feel ashamed of being male and convinced me I should have been a woman. I became terrified of my own body and almost started hormones out of desperation, driven by fear and a desire to escape myself. I'm so glad I stopped, because I realized true happiness comes from self-acceptance, not from changing my body. I've found peace by embracing myself as a feminine man and letting go of the obsession with my gender.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with me feeling like I didn't fit in as a guy because I was feminine and gay. I always related more to girls and was in female friend groups, and that felt normal to me. During the COVID quarantine, I spent a lot of time online, especially on TikTok, and that's where things really shifted for me.
I was seeing a lot of content from radical feminists that made me feel like there was something fundamentally wrong with being male. They talked about men being gross, victimizers, and socialized to objectify women. As someone who respected the women in my life, this made me feel horrible and like I was guilty by association just for being male. At the same time, I was discovering trans narratives online. I started to relate to the stories of trans women who talked about always feeling feminine and relating to girls. I convinced myself that I must have been born in the wrong body and that I should have been a woman.
This thinking spiraled into a deep body dysmorphia. I started hating my male body, fearing that I would develop into an extremely masculine form. I became obsessed with analyzing myself and comparing my body to trans women who had transitioned young. I became terrified that there was no hope for my happiness unless I transitioned immediately. The pressure felt enormous, and I almost started DIY hormones because I was so desperate. I was deeply depressed, anxious, and stuck in a cycle of rumination about my gender.
Looking back, I see now that a lot of this was influenced by my internalized homophobia and low self-esteem. The world, and even some people in the LGBT community, had treated me as less than for my femininity and lack of masculinity. I think I saw transition as a way to escape that judgment and the negative feelings I had about being a gay man. It felt like an escape from myself and from a society that didn't seem to have a place for someone like me.
I am so grateful that I stopped myself before I did anything medical. The idea of taking hormones seems terrifying to me now. What finally helped me was stepping back and realizing that my desire to transition was motivated by fear, not by a genuine truth. I was looking for a cure for my anxiety through shallow appearance changes. I realized that body modification would never bring me the happiness I was looking for.
The real turning point was accepting myself as a gay, feminine male. The happiness that trans people describe as "gender euphoria" is something I now feel from fully accepting who I am, not from trying to become someone else. Letting go of the need to label myself as anything other than me has been incredibly liberating. My dysphoria has actually decreased since I stopped pursuing transition and started working on accepting my body for what it is.
I do have regrets about going down that path. I'm angry that the world told me it was normal and healthy to want to alter my body so drastically. I'm angry about the social embarrassment I put myself through. But mostly, I regret the time I lost being so obsessed with my gender instead of just living my life. I've learned that the cure to rumination isn't finding an answer, it's stopping the question altogether. Life doesn't stop at gender. Going to the beach, seeing friends, logging off the internet—that’s what real life is about.
I don't believe I was ever truly a woman. I think gender is something society uses to put people, especially feminine males and masculine females, into boxes. We should all feel safe to be who we are without feeling the need to change our bodies. My hope now is that other people can find that self-acceptance too.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | During COVID quarantine, began spending excessive time online on TikTok. Was influenced by radical feminist content that portrayed men negatively and trans narratives that I related to due to my femininity. |
| 16 | Developed severe body dysmorphia and anxiety, becoming obsessed with the idea that I must transition to be happy. Feared developing a masculine body. |
| 17 | Almost began DIY hormone therapy due to intense pressure and fear. |
| 17 | Began desisting. Realized my desire to transition was based on fear and internalized homophobia, not a true identity. Learned to accept myself as a gay, feminine male. |
Top Comments by /u/ResearchSingle4877:
yes I am a teenage gnc male and was attempting to start medical transition and almost diyed in a large part due to this pressure but i luckily am desisting before i got access to hormones. i was terrfied that i would develop into an extremely masculine form and was extremely fixated on analyizing and comparing myself to trans women who started young and convinced myself that there would be no hope at all for me in life and acheiving happiness if i didnt transition RIGHT NOW. I have only started desisting this month but seems even ludicrous to say out loud at this point.
I relate to this in a lot of ways. I think i internalized this idea by being in a lot of feminist spaces. I am in no way against feminism AT ALL but i think i internalized the projection of a lot of my females friends views of males. Misogyny is a huge struggle and it saddens me that so many women have to go through that. I think i interinalized this idea that men were gross and victimizers and fundamentally socialized to be objectifiying to women. As a gay male i felt very disheartened that people would view me this way because i guess i always felt a relation and respect for the women in my life and never viewed them as any lesser than. I remember during quarantine I would see on tik tok all of these posts by radfems about how men and boys were socialized to view women as lesser and that coinciding with coming out as gay and expressing myself more femininly and a lot of people in my life males and females judging me for being different i started to feel like something was fundamentally wrong with me. At the same time i was discovering more trans narratives through the internet and could relate with always feeling feminine, relating to girls and always being in female social groups, etc (typical trans stuff) and i guess i started to convince myself i SHOULDVE been born a women and started to develop a body dysmorphia by comparing myself to the opposite sex that i "should" appear as. I still feel angry that the whole world told me i could be the opposite sex and that it was normal and perfectally healthy to want to alter my body. im also angry at the world cuz even pro lgbt people and lgbt people themselves always treated me as less than for my feminity and lack of masculinity. There was also a lot trauma coincing while this happened while also being quarintined due to covid rlly messed with my head. I am on the road to working through these issues and i hope if anyone reads this and relates can know theres not something wrong with them and happiness is possible.
Thank you. Its weird that the happiness that trans people describe as gender euphoria has been being felt by me accepting that im a gay feminine male and never came from diluting myself into thinking i was female. Ive been wishing i could go back and stop myself from ever going down this road but im just happy to have found myself before i did anything irrreversible. I hope everyone male and female can feel safe and at home being who they are. We should never let society put us feminine males and masculine females and/or gay males and females into boxes of self hatred to make us more palettable to society. I wish everyone who reads this happiness and love for themselves.
Being authentic is just being you as you are. No labels (yes non binary is a label). Body modification will never bring happiness. You don’t need to be cis, trans, a fem boy or anything. Wear what you want, cut your hair how u want and focus on things that make you happy rather than have fears that if you don’t have boobs that you’ll never be happy. For me my desire to transition was motivated by fear i would be happier but i was just looking for a cure to my anxiety through meaningless shallow appearance changes. Self obsession is a shallow surface level thing dont fall into living your life in vanity. Go to the beach, go on a drive, talk to friends, make new friends, go to a party, go to a park, try logging off from the internet. Life does not stop at gender but if you transition than it might. Ask yourself has this questioning of gender made you happier or just stressed you out? Would you have questioned this without the internet? The cure to rumination is not trying to find the answer to uncertainty it’s not focusing on it. I wish u the best.
yes im very grateful i stopped myself before i did anything jurassic (even though the social embarssment still feels very painful at this moment but im sure it will get better). Just the idea of taking hormones seems terrfying to me today and im glad i have come this far out of that dark pit of dissociation and have realized that i can love my healthy body and dont need to alter it.
"You can abandon your kids to the state or a church or whatever" Being FORCED to birth a child and choosing whether to abandon your child or having to raise an unwanted child is extremely emotionally damaging and not a "whatever" decision. that is not comparable to being able to walk out of prison. why whenever we agknowlege mens struggles must womens struggles be downplayed and ignored. I see some of these issues you bring up like not being able to acknowledge "toxic femininity" but saying the long history of patriarchy doesnt exist just because some women exploit men too is ridiculous. yes some women view men as disposable and can be horrible to them and some feminist talking points can be wrong but it saddens me that discussing this always turns into denying patriarchy and misogyny are real thriving issues. i believe we can focus on all of these issues without discrediting the ones we dont expierence.
i have a similar experience too. ive been trying to work on not letting the world throw me into a box bc of being a gay gnc male. its hard to deprogram yourself and im just starting but allowing myself to not resist my body but to accept it for what sex it is has been feeling liberating and has been decreasing my dysphoria and understand the reasoning behind it while trying to pursure transition increased it and only showed me how much of a lie it really was. ironic thats the opposite of what you hear from the trans community.