This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced, and empathetic engagement with complex emotional struggles.
- A clear understanding of detransition perspectives and the associated pain and stigma.
- Knowledge of specific therapeutic techniques (CBT, DBT, radical acceptance) relevant to the community's experiences.
This pattern is consistent with a genuine, passionate individual from the detrans/desister community.
About me
I was born female and started transitioning in my early twenties because I felt deeply uncomfortable with my body and thought it was the solution. I took testosterone for three years and had top surgery, but it never brought me the peace I was promised. I realized I was trying to escape my depression and my reality as a gay woman, and I couldn't actually become a man. Therapy helped me accept my body and address the real issues behind my unhappiness. Now, I am learning to live as myself again, though I regret the permanent changes.
My detransition story
My journey with transition started in my early twenties, fueled by a deep unhappiness I couldn't name. I was born female but never felt like I fit in with other girls. Looking back, a lot of my initial feelings were rooted in puberty discomfort; I hated the development of my breasts and the curves of my body. It felt like a betrayal. I had low self-esteem and depression, and I was deeply influenced by what I saw online. The communities I found presented transition as the ultimate solution to these feelings of being wrong in your own skin.
I started by identifying as non-binary, which felt like a safer first step. But the message I kept getting was that if I was really uncomfortable, I should take medical steps. So I did. I took testosterone for about three years, from age 24 to 27. My voice dropped, I grew facial hair, and I got top surgery to remove my breasts. I thought this was what I needed to finally feel at peace.
But the peace never came. Instead, I encountered major problems. I realized that no matter what I did, I could never become a natal man. This wasn't an insult; it was just a biological fact that I had to finally accept. The changes from testosterone were permanent, but they didn't fix the internal issues. My depression and anxiety were still there, just dressed up in a different package. I had bought into an enticing idea that didn't deliver.
A big part of my struggle was internalised homosexuality. I am attracted to women, and I think a part of me found it easier to try and become a man in a straight relationship than to accept being a gay woman. I also used a lot of online fantasy and escapism, lusting after a mythical life that didn't exist. I had to learn that no amount of surgery or hormones was going to give me a teenage boyhood or turn me into a different person.
I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy, specifically CBT and DBT. It helped me deal with the destructive thought patterns that told me I needed to be something else to be happy. I learned about radical acceptance, which was frustrating at first but ultimately freeing. It helped me accept the reality of my body and my life, and to question the assumptions I had about what would make me happy—like thinking I needed to be beautiful or sexually desirable to countless people to have value.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret the permanent changes, especially my voice and the fact that I am now infertile. I regret the years I spent chasing an impossible ideal instead of learning to live in the reality of who I am. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social concept that can sometimes cause more harm than good when it's medicalized so quickly. For me, it was a solution offered for problems it couldn't solve.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 24 | Started identifying as non-binary and began taking testosterone. |
| 25 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 27 | Stopped taking testosterone after realizing it wasn't solving my underlying issues. |
| 27 | Began detransitioning and started therapy (CBT/DBT). |
| 28 | Fully accepted my identity as a female and began the process of radical acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/ReverseTopeka:
I think it’s well meaning and trying to counteract all of the cultural messages against transition, but it ignores the fact that simply saying you’re something doesn’t change how you interact with the world, nor can any steps you might take ever make you a natal woman. It’s an enticing phrase that, like most trans discourse, has nothing to say to someone who has already tried transitioning and encountered major problems with it.
All women deal with the pressures of aging. Lusting after a mythical porno teenage life is really not going to get you anywhere. You may have to accept your reality, which is that you didn’t have this fantasy and that you never will. All you can do is live as you are, now, and try to question the assumptions you have about happiness that are making you miserable, e.g. that you need to be beautiful, that you need to be having sex with a lot of beautiful people, etc.
I’m going to be honest here — it sounds like you have some socialization around what you deserve to unpack. There are a lot of people on the planet and it’s very unlikely that you won’t be able to find at least one where there is a mutual attraction. But nobody promised you frequent sex with multiple beautiful partners. Please try to get into therapy — CBT and DBT can be very useful in dealing with destructive thought patterns.
Also, please try to resist the urge to post on appearance rating subreddits. You appear to be an attractive woman and the people saying you’re a 4/10 or whatever from behind the comfort of a computer screen are not your target audience, nor are they helping you feel better.
It sounds like you’re going through a lot of turmoil. Have you ever read anything on radical acceptance? It’s a concept drawing from Buddhism that might be helpful. It’s likely to tick you off at first but I think it’s really useful for everyone, not just people struggling with dysphoria.