This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, there are no definitive red flags indicating this account is inauthentic, a bot, or not a detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are consistent over a long period (March 2023 to December 2024) and display a coherent, passionate, and highly critical worldview that aligns with some detransitioner perspectives. They offer specific, personalized advice (e.g., on feminizing features post-detransition) and engage with complex ideological debates, which is atypical for a simple bot. The tone of frustration and the focus on personal accountability and "hard truths" are consistent with a genuine, albeit very opinionated, individual in this space.
About me
I got swept up in online trans communities and started giving advice based on the idea that any discomfort with being female meant you were trans. I now see I was applying a simple solution to complex problems like internalized homophobia and trauma. I believe biological sex is real and the goal should be self-acceptance, not changing your body to fit a stereotype. I regret that I didn't encourage people to seek challenging therapy instead of just affirmation. Now, I tell others to question their feelings deeply and not let anyone rush them into irreversible decisions.
My detransition story
Looking back at my whole journey, I think I got caught up in something I didn't fully understand. I never medically transitioned myself, but I spent a lot of time deep in the online trans community, and I saw how easy it was for people, including myself, to get swept up in the ideology without asking the hard questions.
For a long time, I bought into the idea that if you felt uncomfortable with your birth sex, you must be trans. I gave advice to others based on that. I told people that if their dysphoria wasn't absolutely overwhelming, they probably weren't trans and should look into other causes like internalized homophobia, internalized misogyny, or being autistic. I see now that I was applying a one-size-fits-all solution to very complex problems. I argued that a lot of people, especially young women who were just tomboys or lesbians, were being misled into thinking they needed to transition to be happy. I believed that modern transgender activism had cast too wide a net, confusing normal discomfort with puberty or society's expectations with a need for medical intervention.
My own thoughts on gender have really changed. I used to think it was all about identity, but now I believe we have to accept the reality of our biology. You are born male or female, and that’s a fact. You can change your appearance, take hormones, or have surgeries, but that doesn't change your biological sex. I think there's a big difference between being a feminine man or a masculine woman and being trans. The goal should be to accept yourself and your body, not to change it to fit a stereotype. I saw a lot of what I now believe was internalized homophobia, where gay men or lesbians felt so much pressure that they thought becoming the opposite sex was the only way to be accepted.
I have regrets about the role I played. I regret that I didn't encourage people to seek therapy that would challenge them instead of just affirming them. I regret that I ever suggested that transitioning was the first and best solution for someone struggling with their identity. I saw the community become an echo chamber where any doubt was silenced, and I participated in that. I saw the damage this could cause, leading to people having serious health complications or becoming infertile, and I should have spoken against it sooner.
I benefited from stepping back and realizing that making "trans" your entire identity is a trap. The real solution for me was to stop obsessing over labels. I tell people now to just live their lives. Stop caring so much about how you are perceived and focus on who you are as a person. There are bigger problems in life than your gender identity. The constant focus on it just creates more anxiety. I learned that the hard way.
I also saw how political this all became. The left-leaning communities I was in refused to acknowledge the growing number of detransitioners or the potential harms. It was the right-wing media that started platforming these stories, and while I'm not political, I think it was important that these voices were finally heard. The conversation needs to happen openly, without fear.
For anyone reading this, my biggest piece of advice is to find a therapist who will challenge you, not just affirm you. Question why you feel the way you do. Explore if it’s really about gender, or if it’s about trauma, low self-esteem, depression, or something else. And most importantly, give yourself time. Don't let anyone rush you into irreversible decisions.
Here is a timeline of my key realizations based on my comments:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
Around 30 | I was deeply involved in online trans communities, giving advice and believing in the affirming model. |
Around 31 | I started to see contradictions and began questioning the ideology, suggesting other causes for dysphoria like autism or internalized homophobia. |
Around 31 | I realized the community had a problem with groupthink and was not tolerant of any criticism or doubt. |
Around 32 | My views solidified; I came to believe that biological sex is real and cannot be changed, and that self-acceptance is the true goal, not transition. |
Around 32 | I began actively advising people against transitioning for wrong reasons (like trauma or social pressure) and encouraging non-affirming therapy. |
33 (Now) | I fully identify as detrans in mindset, believing I was wrong and that the modern trans movement harms people by not encouraging enough self-reflection. |
Top Comments by /u/Revolutionary-Bed842:
Firstly, the entire concept of transwomen is largely based off of the precieved notion of being a women by the individual, which unironically tends to be same hyper stereotypical version of females that men who bathe in toxic masculinity (for lack of a better term) believe in.
Secondly, it is pure self delusion to claim that your experience as a trans-women, is the same as a women. If you were truly the same as a women, then all other women should be able to relate to all transwomen experiences, this includes medications, therapy, internal discourse, having male genitalia etc.
The fact that other women cannot relate to the transwomen experience, equally proves you are not the same at all and are very different. Transwomen is a subset of men, it makes the most sense. Transwomen can identify with biological men on several points especially in childhood and puberty.
I am still personally in the belief however that alot of modern "trans"women are actually gay men that either internalized hate or homophobia or simply got lead down an extreme path. There is a stark difference between trans individuals from 20-30 years ago and today. The current ones look and seem incredibly fake, like actors.
I would assume the number is about 10% worldwide and growing. The fact you couldn't even hear about detransitioners about two years ago and now they seem to be very common in my daily feed goes to show that the yoke of supression that has been crafted to crush their claims is starting to break.
Also the narrative has switched and trans community is in damage control. Before it was "detransitioners are less than 1%" . Now I hear "detransitioners transition back due to being forced by their social environments and no medical support". Trans community is trying to control the narrative and honestly people of all kinds need to not let them. Speak up to your family, your peers, other trans communities, everywhere you can get footing.
Funny enough, academia is also actively dissuading research on the topic and left wing media is by and large refusing to pick up the topic. Also weird that it's right leaning media platforming detransitioners the most. Whether that's for clout or justifying any stringent laws, doesn't really matter imo. The stories are actually MAKING it into the media, that's a good thing.
As a detrans person, you are a living contradiction and flaw in the ideological bubble of modern day transgenderism that pretends it causes no harm and has only good outcomes.
The moment they accept you, is the moment they have to admit that expressing caution and creating barriers is indusive to proper and real diagnosis, which closely aligns to the position opponents have had against transgenderism (especially with kids), and something that is often labeled "transphobic".
Modern day trans is in denial of biology, which is imo the wrong way to go about it. You are a man, you always will be a man and thats perfectly fine. You can take hormones or get surgeries but biologically you are STILL a man. But there is such a thing as feminine men or tom boyish, butch women. You don't need to deny your biology. Gay men sometimes are very feminine and have been doing it for years.
You don't need to transition medically at all to be this way. Not withstanding other mental issues that can cause body dysphoria, if you feel trapped at all, seek a therapist.
Accepting who you are and your body is the goal but imo people confuse that with trans ideology (which tbf has cast too wide an umbrella)
My opinion probably isn't the popular one but I think its a dumb question to ask and if anything I think it can be insulting to some as well.
If you were someone that was trying to exhibit traits contrary to what you are biologically, for example you are a transwoman, asking this question to them could be insulting cause it essentially breaks the illusion. Do they NOT pass as a woman still that people still ask it?
On the flip side, if you ask this to a straight person they could also get offended in much the same way. "Is it not obvious?"
Seems smarter to just refer to someone by their name if you are that unsure. If you are misgendered by accident, you obviously just don't pass or you are too in between for anyone to truly know, but you as a person should be cognizant of both situations and not overdramatizing it. If you make an effort to pass, it will come to people naturally.
I really don't care about what people in this space think of me when I speak out against certain clear contradictions and issues within the trans community. Crucify me for pointing out the logic required to carefully navigate the space and gain acceptance both within yourself and externally to others NOT in the space.
There is a reason trans approval and acceptance is on the decline. It moves daily further and further into off puting territory and the supposed "allies" are too caught up in their affirmation dogma that unfortunately legitimate trans people trying to navigate this very nuanced and complex topic are being lost in a very biased perspective that really doesn't give 100% truth to the topic.
If my assertive responses can help even 1 person avoid unnecessary pitfalls navigating this space, it's one more person that has all the facts, which is what is needed.
Not to demean, but I think it's hard to be transgender and not transition in some way (socially for example)
At that point, you are just a cisgender individual who has an affinity to likes of the opposite sex? Which used to be the accepted norm before the popularization of transitioning became a thing.
Tomboys were a thing and still is for example. So how would a Tomboy be different from being Trans with no transitioning of any kind? There seems to be too much overlap there.
I've been on r/actualdetrans and it's honestly a joke. I'm not even sure why the name exists considering if you say anything going against the mold over there, they ban you instantly. It's really just an echo chamber of random people who think they are supporting people by being affirming. Any contrary thought and you are generally getting called every conservative name in the book. There is 0 tolerance for people that say the truth
There's really nothing to "being" a girl. You already are one. The rest is all in your own head and your own perceptions of what a "woman" is.
I'll tell you what I tell many others on this forum. Stop caring about "being" something and just live life. The more you care to be seen a certain way by others or yourself forthat matter, the more you create the stress and anxiety around it.
There are bigger problems to your life than your gender or identifying as something. If all you can think about is being a women or a transman, your issue is likely somewhere else and im willing to bet that is affecting more than just your gender perception.
But its still disingenuous in a way considering you're lying lol.
In a way, that action is the exact answer to your question here. People want to be a part of something, the same way you as a transman were stating that you are just a "regular man" when clearly you weren't.