genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Royal_Gas_3627's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user's comments display:

  • Personal, nuanced opinions on complex topics like radical feminism, Marxism, and personal identity.
  • A consistent, developed worldview that connects disparate political and philosophical ideas.
  • Personal anecdotes and self-reflection, including references to their own past and social media use.
  • Emotional investment in the topic, including frustration with academic censorship and personal advice, which aligns with the expected passion of the community.

The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real, opinionated person engaged with the subject matter.

About me

I was a lonely teenager who found community online and became convinced that transitioning from female to male was the solution to my deep discomfort with puberty. I started testosterone and even scheduled top surgery, but I canceled it after a wave of panic made me realize I was making a permanent choice out of confusion. I began to understand that my problem wasn't with being female, but with the pressures and stereotypes society places on women. I stopped hormones and now accept that my female body is my material reality, which has brought me a sense of peace I never had before. My journey taught me that my real issues were about trauma and self-esteem, not gender.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was very young and lonely, and I got deeply caught up in the world of social media and early YouTube. I was confused and looking for an identity, and I found it in online communities that celebrated transition. I think a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of not fitting in and wanting to escape my own skin, especially during puberty. I hated the changes happening to my body, particularly the development of my breasts. I saw transitioning as a way to become someone else entirely, to shed the discomfort and just be seen as a different person.

Looking back, I realize I was heavily influenced by what I was watching online. The content from BuzzFeed and other creators in the 2010s made this life seem not just possible, but desirable. It felt like a solution to all my problems with self-esteem and anxiety. I started identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a safer way to step away from being a woman, and that eventually led me to believe I was a trans man.

I began taking testosterone. I was so sure it was the right path, the only way to fix the deep unhappiness I felt. I even scheduled a consultation for top surgery. But in the months leading up to it, a deep sense of doubt started to creep in. I remember reading a comment somewhere that stuck with me: if a permanent medical decision isn't a "hell yes," then it's a hell no. I realized that if I didn't get the surgery, I could always do it later. But if I went through with it, my breasts would be gone forever. That thought filled me with a panic I hadn't expected. I was confused, and making a lifelong choice while feeling that confused seemed like a terrible mistake. I canceled the consultation.

Stepping back from the brink of surgery forced me to really question everything. I started to look into things from a different angle. I got into radical feminist writers like Andrea Dworkin and Gail Dines, who talked about womanhood and the pressures we face in a way that resonated with me deeply. I began to understand that my discomfort might not have been with being female, but with what society expects from females. The idea that a strong, stocky woman is "masculine" is a very Western concept; in many other places, she's just a woman. I started to wonder if I was just trying to escape harassment and the pressures that come with looking feminine.

I also started to see how a lot of gender ideology is rooted in post-modern philosophy, which feels completely disconnected from material reality. I’ve always been a leftist, and it struck me that old-school Marxism was based on physical, biological, and economic realities—you can’t just imagine yourself into a different class or a different sex. That really aligned with how I was starting to feel. My body is female; that’s my material reality. No amount of identification can change that.

I stopped testosterone. Letting my body return to its natural state was frightening, but it felt honest. I don’t regret exploring transition because it led me to where I am now, which is a much more secure and peaceful place. But I do have regrets about the permanent changes from testosterone, and I am deeply, deeply grateful I listened to my doubt and never got surgery.

I don't think my underlying issues were ever about gender. They were about trauma, low self-esteem, and the desperate need to find a community and an identity. I benefited immensely from stepping away from social media and from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a new gender, but about questioning why I wanted it in the first place. My journey taught me that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to be who you actually are, even when it's hard.

Age Event
14-16 Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing body. Felt lonely and found community online.
17 Began identifying as non-binary, influenced by social media and online creators.
19 Started taking testosterone, believing I was a trans man.
21 Scheduled a consultation for top surgery but canceled due to overwhelming doubt and confusion.
22 Stopped testosterone. Began the process of detransitioning.

Top Comments by /u/Royal_Gas_3627:

26 comments • Posting since November 5, 2022
Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) advises that if top surgery isn't a "hell yes," it's a "hell no," comparing it to dating and stressing the permanence of the procedure.
67 pointsApr 5, 2023
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As with many things in life, if it's not a "hell yes," then it's a hell no. I learned this from dating: if they want you, you'll have no doubts. If they don't want you, you'll be confused.

Similarly, especially about permanent medical procedures, if it's not a hell yes, then it's not appropriate for you, at least in this moment. Remember, if you DON'T go through with top surgery right now, you can always do it at a later date. If you DO go through with it, you'll never get your breasts back.

This is not a decision you should make while feeling confused.

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted) comments that there's no such thing as a "masculine mother," arguing that gender roles are a Western concept and that in other cultures, strong women doing laborious jobs are simply seen as women, not masculine.
60 pointsNov 12, 2022
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i don't really think there is such a thing as a "masculine mother." there's just mother, and there's just father.

trans and gender ideology is such a western phenomenon. you go anywhere else in the world, there will be cultures of "stocky strong women" who americans would call a "masculine woman" but to them, they're just a woman. simple as that. they work laborious jobs, raise kids, discipline them, etc, but nobody thinks of them as "masculine." it's just the woman of that culture.

be who you want to be.

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) comments on being permanently banned from r/WhitePeopleTwitter for participating in the r/detrans subreddit.
42 pointsFeb 12, 2023
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case in point:

You have been permanently banned from participating in r/WhitePeopleTwitter. You can still view and subscribe to r/WhitePeopleTwitter, but you won't be able to post or comment.

Note from the moderators:

You have been banned for participating in the brigading subreddit r/detrans

oh nooooo. anyway

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted) comments on academic censorship, explaining how gender-affirming care is the only permitted research, citing liberal author Dr. Debra Soh's work on the suppression of alternative viewpoints.
34 pointsNov 9, 2022
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That happens when gender-affirming care and gender-affirming research is the only opinion allowed in academic research. You literally cannot research alternatives. Dr. Debra Soh talks about this in her book and in Youtube interviews. Really eye opening.

*Oh, and she's a liberal/progressive. Apparently a lot of people assume she's right wing.

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted) explains the link between radical feminist "T3RF" spaces and anti-porn activism, noting it also draws in religious groups, and recommends looking up Gail Dines.
26 pointsNov 11, 2022
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Most of the radical feminist spaces that get called "T3RF" intersect with anti-porn activism, so you're not far off. Unfortunately it does draw in the religious types as well but imo it's irrelevant since they're only a subsection of anti-porn activists (who come in all stripes and types).

Anyway. Look up Gail Dines on Youtube.

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) explains that a recent study's 1% regret rate for gender-affirming surgery is flawed, as it only counted patients who returned to the same clinic for a reversal.
21 pointsMar 17, 2023
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recent article that was posted to r-science showed their method was flawed. they reported only 1% because it only counted people who went BACK to the same clinic they got their gender reassignment surgery to reverse their surgery. only that population was figured into the "regret" pile

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) comments that postmodernism in higher education was a CIA-backed program to counter communism, citing philosophers Foucault and Judith Butler.
21 pointsMar 31, 2023
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post-modernism in higher ed was a CIA-backed counter program to rising communist sentiments in the US. they used figures like Foucault (post-mod philosopher) and Judith Butler (liberal 3rd wave feminist) to push it.

I'm about as leftist as it gets, and hate r-conspiracy nuts. But this unfortunately I think is true: https://thephilosophicalsalon.com/the-cia-reads-french-theory-on-the-intellectual-labor-of-dismantling-the-cultural-left/

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) explains how non-binary identity and post-modernism conflict with Marxist economic principles, arguing that conceptual identities don't address tangible, physical realities like hunger and class struggle.
21 pointsMar 31, 2023
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ding ding ding! it's post-mod as I commented above. the more "conceptual" you get, the more you get away from unions/economic dissent (physical/tangible realities). modern NB "marxists" make no sense. cuz marxism would've hated NBs (but no prob w/real transitioned trans ppl). it's all about the physical/biological/economic realities baby! you can't IMAGINE yourself into a higher income and "eat cake." the cake has to actually exist physically! conceptual cakes don't feed empty stomachs. but post-modernism/anti-communist ideology would LOVE to have you think so.

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted) comments about a surgeon who quit his career after his father's death, realizing he only did it for approval, and relates it to identity and self-discovery.
20 pointsNov 7, 2022
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I knew a man in his 50s who was a cardiothoracic surgeon and completely quit the job as soon as his father died because it prompted a cascading waterfall of reflections that made him realize he only did this to please his father, and that he never wanted to do this job. However, the job became core to who he was. He believed he was The Surgeon, and that was his persona for decades. He does carpentry outta his garage now.

Anyways, don't worry about not knowing now the reasons why. Time will tell. All you can do is your best. And if nothing else, you sure got to experience the world in a way few have!

Reddit user Royal_Gas_3627 (desisted female) explains how social media and youth confusion led to isolation, prompting her to intentionally curate her online experience.
20 pointsFeb 13, 2023
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I grew up at the start of social media, so that played a huge role. It's also part of the reason why I stepped back from everything. I'm only on Reddit but nowhere else. And for Reddit, I only visit my home page where I intentionally curate what I see.

Anyway, all that's to say, I was also young and confused af. And I reacted by isolating from social media (which often times meant friends too). 🤷