This story is from the comments by /u/RulerTheLion that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
Key points supporting authenticity:
- The user shares detailed, nuanced, and often vulnerable personal experiences with transition, detransition, and questioning.
- Their perspective and advice evolve over time, showing a natural human process of reflection and uncertainty.
- The language is consistent, passionate, and contains personal anecdotes, self-deprecation ("srry for my bad English"), and emotional nuance that is difficult to automate.
- They express a complex, non-dogmatic viewpoint that acknowledges the legitimacy of both transition for some and detransition for others, which aligns with the diverse and often conflicted perspectives found in the community.
The account exhibits the passion and personal stake in the topic that is expected from someone who has experienced this journey firsthand.
About me
I was born female and started identifying as a trans man as a teenager, taking testosterone for two years. I now believe my discomfort was more about body dysmorphia and social influence than being the wrong sex, so I've stopped hormones to medically detransition. I don't regret my journey, as it was a necessary step for me to learn that identity isn't fixed. Currently, I'm working with a therapist and living socially as a man while I explore what I truly want without any pressure. I'm focusing on getting to know myself beyond labels and making choices I won't regret later.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and confusing, and I'm still figuring it out. I was born female and I started identifying as a trans man when I was a teenager. I was on testosterone for two years, but I've stopped now. I'm medically detransitioning, but I haven't changed anything socially or legally yet. I still live as a man while I try to understand what I really want.
When I first transitioned, I truly believed I was born in the wrong body. I thought I was a boy trapped in a girl's body. I was really uncomfortable with my female body—things like having breasts, getting periods, and the curves that came with puberty felt like a huge nuisance. The idea of having a male body seemed so much better and simpler. I never really wanted male genitalia until I started trying to pass as a man, and then I felt like I needed it.
Looking back, I think a big part of my decision to transition was an escape. I believe I might have body dysmorphia instead of genuine gender dysphoria. My mind was telling me my body had to be a certain way, similar to how someone with anorexia thinks they need to be thinner. I also think that being online a lot and seeing certain communities influenced me. I've noticed that many people who detransition are on the autism spectrum or have OCD, and I wonder if that played a role for me too. I started to see that maybe I just disliked the annoying parts of being female, not that I was fundamentally the wrong sex.
I don't regret transitioning. It was a step I had to take to learn about myself. I'm a stubborn person, and I think this was the only way I could have learned these lessons. The experience has taught me that our identity isn't fixed. I look at my past and my present, and I see two completely different people with different ideas and even different sexual orientations. It's like my current self completely overshadowed who I was before.
Right now, I'm working with a normal therapist, not a gender specialist, to figure things out. They're helping me explore my identity from a non-LGBT point of view, which feels more balanced. We're even experimenting with me living as a very effeminate trans man to see how that feels before I make any decisions about fully detransitioning. I've stopped testosterone, and that's brought its own challenges, like hormonal imbalances and my body readjusting. My voice dropped from T, and I'm doing voice training to try and sound female again, which is hard work.
My thoughts on gender have changed a lot. I think true trans people exist—they are people who genuinely feel they were born in the wrong body and have severe dysphoria. But I also see that a lot of what's happening now with gender is tied to stereotypes and a kind of subculture. You don't need to change your body to be a masculine woman or a feminine man. Clothes and hobbies don't have a gender. I think the healthiest thing is to try and live without labels for a while, to just be a person.
I've benefited from taking a step back and pressing pause. I'm trying not to rush into any more big decisions. I'm focusing on other parts of my life and getting to know myself beyond gender. I've realized that transition only helps with dysphoria, it doesn't solve all your problems. If you're unhappy before transition, you'll probably still be unhappy after. The most important thing is to make choices you won't regret later.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I've shared:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager (exact age not given) | Started socially identifying as a trans man. |
| Teenager (exact age not given) | Began taking testosterone (T). |
| Around 18 years old | Stopped testosterone after 2 years of use. |
| 18-19 years old | Began medical detransition (stopping hormones). Started questioning my gender identity and working with a non-gender-specialist therapist. Began voice training to feminize my voice. |
| Present (still around 19) | Still legally and socially living as male while continuing to question and explore my identity. I have not socially or legally detransitioned yet. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/RulerTheLion:
Your child can like to dress, play with, act like whatever they want without it meaning they're one gender or another. Pushing a child towards something simply because they express themselves a certain way enforces sexist stereotypes. Transsexual people, the classic trans folk of all times, know they're trans since the moment they can speak and without anyone telling them they're this or that. Then there has been a rise of ppl with ideological reason who partake in transition because Idk. Also, in the subs there are many teenagers or very young people. Would you ask for advice to a teen for something life-changing? The best is to listen to stable adults and to hear people with different opinions. If ur child is indeed trans, then he/she/they will know eventually on their own but even if you're trying to help, telling them they might be this or that could influence them.
If they left u just because of that, then they werent ur friends, simply ppl u hanged out with bc u had something in common. And if ur detransition makes them insecure, then perhaps theyarent really trans at all. Trans ppl dont feel threatened by other ppls choices on themselves.
I consider red flags if several of the following come together:
1- Not suffering from gender dysphoria 2- Saying gender is a feeling. Not even classic transsexuals say that. 3- Say gender must be abolished 4- Use intersexual ppl to boost their narrative 5- Use xenogenders and neopronouns 6- Didnt suffer from any dysphoria until teens 7- Label everyone as transphobic or TERF without even stopping to listen what ppl are really saying 8- Obssessing over trans related stuff 9- Everyone is an egg 10- I could go on and about but its getting long
It doesnt surprise me with how the Internet is going. What really bothers me is the lesbian men thing. Sorry but men cant be lesbians. Trans men neither unless u consider them women, which I dont think the trans community does. As a university student in English and literature, it pains me to see language not evolving, but being straight up destroyed.
Okay I just saw ur post history and see ur struggling with mental health issues. Before making any rushed decision, try solving ur depression, suicidal ideation and stuff. That seems more important than using he or she pronouns and being called whatever. What I would strongly recommend is stopping medical transition if ure having doubts.
I think all these "signs" things are just falling into stereotypes for both transition and detransition so its pointless to think about it because everything ends up falling into what society has deemed as "masculine" or "femenine". In the end the right question may be "why did u transition for?". The answer to that question will tell u if the person will find happiness after transitioning or not.
I would not undergo surgery and instead Id try to work eith a therapist on ur vaginal anxiety. Its ok if u never want to have sex or do check-ups (although its better for ur health) because these options will be less aggressive than taking organs out of your body.
Why do u think being a woman would make u happy? If u work around that issue with a therapist or a close friend/relative u might find out what the cause of that feeling is and work on it. There's sometimes the idealization that being the opposite sex or being a completely different person will make u happy but if ure unhappy right now, u will still be after transitioning. Transition only helps with dysphoria, and not always, but it will not solve every problem in ur life. In fact, it may just make things worse.
There is not a way to "look or act like a woman". Forcing yourself to follow stereotypes will only worsen it all. There are two options: either transition or deconstruct everything you've been taught. As others have said, your sex won't change. You'll always be female. What does that mean? Simply that your chromosomes are xx. Nothing else. You want to use male pronouns, take T, remove certain parts of your body? Cool. Thats also a possible way of being a female. Literally there's no way of being that will make u a or b. Just live happily once you get to devoid gender from meaning.
If this "friend" of yours felt threatened enough by ur detransition that they had to make a TikTok shitting about it, perhaps they're insecure about themselves and did that to reassure themselves that they were right. Besides, Idk what age they are but its extremely immature. Im so sorry ure going through this. People can be disgusting.