It's not the E that's the issue, it's the T and the natal male puberty.  Just like I might have residual advantage, a trans woman might have even more residual advantage (unless she was put on blockers pretty early, which I am vehemently against because we don't know what it will do to people long-term).  

Also, I looked up the rules for a major federation (IBJJF) and they say you have to compete with your natal sex regardless of medical interventions.  So that's not barring trans athletes from competing, just barring them from competing with their preferred gender.  Though trans men actively on T would probably be unable to compete due to anti-doping rules unless they stopped it in enough time to pass the drug test.

Also also, miss me with that "this is what the exclusion of trans women in sports did to you" bs.  We altered our bodies intentionally, and we risk forfeiting our ability to compete with unaltered members of our sex in sex-segregated sports.  Sports aren't a human right, and I'm not saying I need to compete with the women.  I was just asking what everyone else thought about the situation.

I have a complicated relationship with this question. In short, most of the time I don't regret it, it was the thing I regretted the least about transition (I also took hormones for five years), but there have been times I've felt profound grief and regret. I even started the consultation process for reconstruction, but a) it's taking super long and I don't have the patience for it, and b) an increasingly larger part of me would be fine with either nothing or a possible revision to remove some divoting I have under my keyhole incisions. Also butch, gender-ambiguous/male-passing in public even over two years off T.

Long in short, most of the time I don't regret it, but sometimes (rarely) I do. And I'm medically/legally detransitioned.

Personally, I had a mental breakdown following a precarious foray onto the internet and decided to stop T cold turkey, which my body didn't like. I didn't intend to tell my clinic, but they found out after I was interviewed for a news story, and the media outlet reached out to them for comment. So they know, the only reason they'd not report me is because I didn't schedule a follow-up meeting with them to tell them, which I couldn't do because I had aged out of the pediatric program (cap is 21, I was 22).

But yeah, medically I was rawdogging it, much like most of us did.

So I'm a product of traditional surrogacy, but my adoptive mom had full custody of me since I was 8. I also didn't know I was a surrogate kid until I was 14 and found out my adoptive mom was lying... anyways, that's a story for another day lol. Relating to your post, I completely get the desire to people-please, especially when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally and raise you because they want to push in your face that they were somehow doing you a favor by adopting you.

Adoption can be traumatizing. Surrogacy can be traumatizing. Add in people who have no business rearing children who procure children in some of the worst ways, and it's just trauma city for a kid. You eventually learn that your parents didn't want a child, they wanted an experience, and you weren't meeting their expectations for the experience they signed up for. I was super gender-nonconforming, socially awkward, probably autistic, scared of everything because no one gave me actual therapy to help me recover from childhood abuse, and clearly a lesbian. Something I heard a decent amount after I learned about the surrogacy was "I paid $15,000 for you, remember?" It felt like my mom was trying to say she regretted spending that kind of money to bring me into the world because I was more "problematic" than she hoped.

When I transitioned at 17, all of that changed. I was fast-tracked, T/surgery/legal before I turned 18. I wanted the pain I was in to go away, sure, but I also wanted to stop being a fuck-up to my mom. I was treated better, my problems "went away" and everything was right with the world. She finally had a child she was proud of and felt like she got a return on her investment. Ignoring the fact that I spun my wheels for five years and didn't make any notable forward progress in life, I was a more acceptable version of myself to her and her family.

I never had to deal with a race difference (me and my family are white) and I can only imagine the added layers of complexity and pain that carries. It's one of the many reasons I'm against adoptions, especially the white (mostly Christian) families who want to "rescue" (gentle way of saying buy/kidnap) children from oversees. It makes my blood boil! I'm also against surrogacy, but that's moreso on principle of a) not creating a situation where a woman's biological functions are commodified and b) not viewing babies as "products" of a service (which is essentially what surrogacy is). I don't care if gay people use it; find another way.

Anyways, I'll get off my anti-surrogacy soapbox lol. I just wanted to chime in as someone with a similar-ish experience.

No one in their right mind who could act as a "voice of reason" would attempt to enter the utter circus that is the media to talk about detransition, and I'm saying this as someone who tried.

IMO, I think it's more powerful for us to exist in the real world and not worry about how detrans people are represented in media.  Some people in my life know about people like Chloe and Maia, and they know me, and they can see we're not the same.  From my experience, that's good enough to convince people that detranItioners aren't a monolith because most people understand tokens don't represent an entire demographic.

To my knowledge, the danger in BJJ comes when you have partners who roll (spar) too hard and you get stubborn and don't tap when you should.  There's no way in hell I'd compete in a striking sport bc I really don't like getting punched in the head by anyone, nevertheless men, but with grappling it's a little different.  Still a possibility of bodily harm, absolutely, but less so bc of less striking and throwing (a la judo, wresting, other sports).  Idk what the BJJ federations say on it but I'm pretty sure I've seen juiced up women compete in women's divisions, and given that a lot of the men are also juiced up, it might be fine.

I've been off for two years and I did start as a teen (17). It did change my skeleton after I hit full dose about ten months in (I sporadically grew an inch taller and my arms got longer) and I still pack on muscle easier than I did before. Am I as strong though? Definitely not.

I'm literally in the same boat! I have everything else switched back except that. I'd say if you can do it now before they change the form, do it and get it expedited. That's what I'm going to do and just hope I can get it processed before things on the passport side can change over.

Just looked it up, IBJJF and ADCC require you compete with your birth sex.  Drug tests should be easy because I'm not on anything lol, plus I'd be with the heavies so it might equal out in the end.  Who knows, competing isn't remotely a priority but maybe I'll do it in the future.