This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative. The user describes a specific timeline (transitioned in mid-twenties, detransitioned for 3 years, now 31), shares personal struggles (eating disorder, self-harm, therapy experiences), and expresses complex, evolving views on gender norms and self-acceptance. The passion and anger present are consistent with someone who feels they were harmed by an ideology, and the internal consistency across many comments over months suggests a genuine personal history rather than a script.
About me
I started transitioning in my mid-twenties, believing becoming a woman would save me from a future I feared. After nearly five years on hormones, I realized I could be a feminine man without changing my body, and I began to detransition almost three years ago. I now see my transition as a traumatic form of escapism based on a harmful ideology. Today, I live authentically as a feminine man with painted nails and earrings, feeling more at peace than I ever did. I deeply regret the time and health I lost, and my heart breaks seeing this happen to others.
My detransition story
My journey into and out of transgenderism was long and complicated. It started in my mid-twenties after a bad life event made me look back at gender issues I’d had as a kid but had learned to suppress. I was consumed by trans ideology, which is the lie that being gender non-conforming means you are trans. Everyone around me affirmed me and didn't push back at all; my parents are classic liberals, so I received no relevant alternate views. It was crazy.
I saw transition as a way to escape what I feared: aging poorly into a wide, leathery, hairy, unkempt old man. I thought becoming a woman was the answer to avoiding that future. I now see that was a form of escapism and a way to dissociate from my own body. I was on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for about four and a half years. I developed breast tissue from the estrogen, what some people call "moobs." I never got bottom surgery, but I came very close, and that near miss haunts me. The idea of inverting a healthy penis is horrific to me, and I feel intense anger and sadness for the men, some as young as sixteen, who have had that done to them.
I began to detransition almost three years ago. The most important reason I realized for detransitioning was that there was literally no good reason I couldn't do everything I was doing while trans—all the gender non-conforming behavior—as a man. I realized I could be a very feminine man, despite what society says about that. Our culture hates feminine men; they are bullied, shamed, and abused. But I decided I wouldn't let them win. Choosing to be authentic is a choice to love yourself.
My whole perspective on gender has completely changed. I don't have a "gender identity." What is there to identify with? Body hair? Not having breasts? When you separate cultural norms from biological masculinity and femininity, all you're left with is secondary sex characteristics. Why would I identify with my chest hair? It’s nonsense. I believe gender equals sex. The concept of "gender identity" is equivalent to identifying as a tree; it is just nonsense at worst, a lie at best. Transgenderism is not liberation; it's medicalizing anyone who doesn't affirm patriarchy and sex expectations. It's the left's version of sexism.
A huge part of my healing has been integrating the things I discovered I liked during my transition into my life as a man. I keep my nails long and painted. I wear dangly earrings and "women's" clothing because I prefer the colors, styles, and fabrics. I have long hair. I’m trying to muster the confidence to wear skirts and dresses in public. Right now, I’m rocking a receded hairline and really long, nicely kept nails. The way I present myself is like wearing a sign that says "easy target," but the anxiety I feel is miniscule compared to the constant fear I had when I was trans that someone would "clock" me. I feel more at peace now than I ever did while living a lie.
I do have regrets. I regret the time, energy, and health I lost. My penis function has largely returned after three years off HRT, but it's not totally back to how it was. I regret that I ever believed the ideology that told me I could change my sex and that my feelings were more important than objective reality. I see my transition as a form of trauma. I think I have something like PTSD from it. Even talking about it can put me into a flight-or-fight mode. The entire experience was a form of systematic abuse, and it breaks my heart to see it happening to others, especially children.
I now believe that acceptance and integration are the only real answers. You have to accept your body for what it is and focus on what it can do for you, not just what it looks like. You have to deconstruct the sexist gender norms that caused the problem in the first place. A woman can be masculine. A man can be feminine. Fabric has no sex. Tinted powder has no sex. We need collective fashion freedom, not more medicalization and lies.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ~25 | Began my social and medical transition (HRT). |
| ~29 | Began the process of detransitioning, stopping HRT. |
| 31 | Now. Have been detransitioned for almost 3 years. |
Top Comments by /u/Safe_Direction3512:
It sounds like to me that your boyfriend has some unresolved issues he needs to deal with, i.e. his porn use. No one should be watching porn, period, and I can't imagine those comments of his about your body will get much better as the relationship goes on, if he doesn't address his issue. Most people don't even realize porn is a problem (I did not for a long time), but it is.
Is there any hope? Absolutely. Will it go back to how it was? No, and it shouldn't. Let me explain.
You have to create a new path. You have to own your womanhood, even if no one knows or sees you as female. Chasing the approval of others, i.e. wanting to be gendered correctly, is normal, but you can't let that be your main focus. What hair length do you *like?* What makes *you* feel good? What would you do if you lived on an island? Do that (within reason lol). I KNOW it's easier said that done, and obviously it's not literally that simple. But what I'm saying is that before you were trans, and while you were trans, you probably had an outer lotus of control regarding your sex/gender/expression/whatever. You had long hair because you felt like you should, and then you cut it short because you wanted others to see you as a man. Obviously I don't know you. But a lot of people have been through what I'm describing.
But what do YOU want? You have to make that first priority (within reason lol). If it is "to be seen as my sex" well, to be honest you will not have that 100% of the time. Even people who have never dabbled with trans shit deal with that, especially over the phone. You may have to deal with more misgendering than you had to deal with in the past. So build your emotional resilience. Build your self worth. You must know by now that *nothing* can negate your womanhood. Including even looking male. Conforming to norms is fine, we're all human, fashion sucks, etc. But it cannot be at the top of the list. You have to create a new version of what a woman can be, what kind of woman you want to be, and become that, given the cards you have been dealt (being detrans).
Well the first thing you can do is starting calling yourself a woman. there is no barrier to that, other than I guess social pressure. After you do that, you can address everything else.
When I first detransed I went right back to being a trad male. then slowly I realized that gender norms are all bullshit. A social construct in the most sensible use of that phrase. Now I am a fem man. Not because I want to be feminine, but because the things I happen to like are considered feminine by society (nails, hair, jewelry, etc). You can get there. You can get to the point where you feel peace with your body, but you are also expressing yourself authentically.
It does the *same* thing to me.... I think it's because transition is trauma. Not only have we been through trauma, trans people are advocating that other people do the same. Recently I had to just straight up tell someone I was too irritated to continue discussing. And by "irritated" I meant enraged, so.... :\
"it often feels like i left a cult and i want to scream it from the rooftops to anyone who can listen, like even just therapists or whatever, but i know that they wont get it and i'll look like a "transphobe.""
I have that same feeling sometimes... it's difficult to deal with. I talked with my current therapist recently, and he brought up "discrimination against trans people" and it just fucking irritated me. "Trans rights" is genital mutilation, human experimentation, child abuse, and all that shit. Trans people are discriminated against, yes, but NOT by what my therapist probably meant -___-
God. No offense to your therapist, I'm sure she has redeeming qualities, but all I can think is "what a bitch." Because it's bitchy/abusive/indoctrinating to tell someone they might be trans, for any reason, but especially to someone like you who is clearly comfortable with being a gnc woman. They don't realize it, but when people say "you have they energy" they are invalidating your womanhood. You are a woman, regardless of what you say, feel, wear, or think, and no one can ever take that away from you, and it's good to be female.
I also don't have a gender identity. Because what the fuck is there to identify with? Broad shoulders? Because when you separate cultural norms from biological masculinity and femininity (i.e. ACTUAL gender qualities), all your left with is secondary sex characteristics. And why would I identify with my chest hair. It is fucking nonsense and SEXISM that you are experiencing, my friend. Stay strong!
Have you tried:
- wearing whatEVER you want as a man
- wearing makeup as a man
- having long nails as a man
- wearing dangly earrings as a man
My point is: Do you really just want breasts and to give birth? Because other than those 2 things, more or less, you can do anything a woman can do as a man. P.E.R.I.O.D.
We are all born with certain struggles and desires. But those feelings don't define us. Gender dysphoria doesn't define us - unless we choose to make it our identity, i.e. until *we* call ourselves trans.
The trans movement has attached itself to the gay movement, and it has interwoven itself into the existing queer narrative: "Born this way, my desires are my destiny." Which is just false. Also, all this shit, EVEN SEXUALITY, can change, and I'm speaking out of experience, as someone who randomly begun being attracted to women after spending my whole life gay.
No one is born trans. Becoming trans is a decision.
Can you reduce the t dose possibly? Is there any sexual function with your genitals at all anymore? Do you think you could try to pleasure yourself? That might help at least a bit.
Also, I just wanna say my heart goes out to you. You have purpose. You have worth. Your actions in this life, if you can bear it (because I am not anti-suicide, BUT I do think it needs to be completely logical), can change lives for the better. I just wanna remind you that.
mostly agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. I just wish he didn't say "change their sex" since that is not objectively what is happening. I think for men it would be "a child can consent to inverting his penis, but not using his penis" which when you put it like that.... it becomes obvious that we aren't even on the slope anymore. We have descended into the mud.