Your partner has some major red flags if you ask me.

Pressuring or trying to change you in such radical ways makes him seem unhinged and potentially dangerous. The problem is with him, not you.

You should not change yourself for a fetish, particularly not something that sounds like it might be a sadistic fetish. I'm sorry but reads like the beginning of a horror movie.

It's pretty sad. I literally read an account by an autist guy in another sub, literally describing textbook AGP masturbatory fantasies, the most honest description, nothing hidden or held back, in a way that most AGP would never admit.

Not one person had the knowledge or willing to tell him to read about it. Instead this autistic kid decided that was how he knew he was trans.

You might also want to consider the difference between passing behaviourly over a short time in short encounters and then what that does person looks and act like while alone etc or when in a different situation.

For instance, there's no difference in criminality after a "sex change".

MtF still, over their entire life, have male rates of criminality, male rates of suicide etc. Of course this could be driven up by AGP types, but unlikely.

Imane wasn't trans but intersex.

I think that's important. Intersex is not trans and trans is not intersex.

I will add that I don't actually think that transpeople should hold back the information of being transpeople in any case. The typical example here is the transwoman who doesn't tell they are trans until in the bedroom and bad things happening.

Getting sex by lying or trying to pass yourself of as something you're not is actually considered a form of rape in countries, at least before the trans-hype. There was a lesbian woman in Australia who was imprisoned for claiming to be a man with her female partner (some S&M thing).

I understand that transwomen think this might limit their romantic opportunities, but I still don't think this is morally ok to act as if you're a biological woman to a potential romantic partner.

Good question.

I looked into "the science" in depth, because I am like that and tend to read everything, including scientific papers when I get into a subject.

What I understand, and I think this is true, is that the idea of having an opposite sex brain is wrong, it doesn't happen, but there is some evidence of some trans brains being different, but it's all on a scale. It's not like there's a binary on/off, but when looking at in aggregate there are differences.

Personally I think we're all various degrees of masculine and feminine, yin and yang, and how we express that has a lot to do with culture, sexuality and personal values.

For example, I could never believe I was a woman or girl. Never. As soon as I had rational thought as a child, I knew I was a boy and even if I was envious of girls in some ways, I knew I just had to deal with it.

That doesn't change that my personality in some ways is feminine, and my sexuality is more bi and fluid than most men, but I am not a woman, and I don't want to live like a woman.

I forgot to mention this was just an autism sub. I don't think the person would have been that honest otherwise.

It was really revealing because it was just some autistic teenager being extremely honest, as some autists are known to be, and it was just textbook, absolutely textbook, with no attempts at making up a backstory etc or ideology etc.

Just "I masturbate to these specific fantasies and that's why I'm trans".

Ok, this might seem like a weird question, but do you think it would be better to see a therapist on a less progressive country like Poland?

I could easily spend some time with a therapist in a different country. I don't want to see most therapists here, because while "conversion therapy" is not outright forbidden, it practically is in the therapist internal guidelines.

 a desire to look young, beautiful, androgynous - it’s different intrinsically from the dysphoria women tend to experience, and very looks-based as most of these men seem to be straight or bi wrt natal sex, and have stereotypical male interests (tech, video games, etc) that veer from the “chad” manly dudebro ones(sportball, fitness, etc). and it kind of tends to tie into femboy/otokonoko aesthetics from what i’ve seen with male friends who vibe similarly. they don’t want to be manly men - they want to be a “feminized” ideal of a man.

I think this is a good observation, but I'd argue that what is beneath "a desire to look young, beautiful, androgynous" is actually feeling overwhelmed by the societal demands of being a grown man.

Namely a lot of men might feel they will only be valued for what they can do in terms of being entertaining, making money, etc. They feel as if once they lose their youthful good looks, they will never again have people interested in them just for who they are.

They will always be treated with the unspoken understanding of "what have you done for me lately".

I know this, because I was also a "pretty boy" including in high school and even though it also came with bullying and such, I can't deny that people treated me sooooo much better as a handsome/pretty young man. Then they drop you into the world of grown men and excpect you to swim among the sharks. It can be rough.

This really sounds like an attraction to something "in-between".

Personally I think GAMP and AGP are closely related to sadism and masochism more than gender. A GAMP person might get off sadistically on the fact that a man presents as a woman. It might seem so humiliating that he feels that he is in complete control.

I know that feeling, I used to assume girls dumped me because I had gyno, but it was probably more a question of me being too insecure and not taking charge.

I think when dating, it's a total picture. Voice is probably important for a lot of people, but we work with what we got. Focus on what you can change, accept what you can't.