This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a high degree of personal, lived experience with both transition and detransition (e.g., specific effects of testosterone, changes in social perception, shifts in sexuality). The user's perspective is nuanced, internally consistent, and reflects the complex, often painful, emotional reality described by many detransitioners and desisters. The advice given is specific and practical, which is common in supportive community spaces.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with puberty made me think I was transgender, so I started testosterone at 20. The hormones made my dysphoria worse, and the pressure to pass as male was isolating and painful. I realized my feelings were tangled with my bisexuality and a discomfort with being a woman who loved women. I stopped testosterone at 22 and have since embraced a feminine life, which has brought me peace and better social connections. While I don't regret the journey, the attempt to transition was a dreadful experience, and I'm now focused on my mental and physical recovery.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were misunderstood. I was born female and for a long time, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during puberty. I hated my breasts and just felt a general sense of wrongness with being a woman. I thought these feelings meant I was transgender, so I decided to transition.
I started taking testosterone. At first, I thought it was the answer, but it ended up making my dysphoria worse, not better. Trying so hard to pass as male just made me hyper-aware of every single way I was failing. I never really integrated into society as a man; my options felt like either living as a woman or living as a despised woman who was just seen as a failed attempt. The pain of the dysphoria was eventually outweighed by the pain of social isolation and the way I was treated.
I also realized that a lot of my initial attraction to transition might have been tangled up with other issues. I’ve known I was bisexual since I was a kid, but I went through a phase where I had a strong preference for women and wondered if I was a lesbian. I think there was some internalized homophobia there, a discomfort with being a woman who loved women. Interestingly, after I started testosterone, my attraction shifted and I became a lot more interested in men, which was confusing. Now that I’ve stopped testosterone, my attraction to women is coming back strong, and that feels more right for me.
I decided to detransition. I stopped testosterone and am letting my body readjust. My energy levels took a hit, especially for working out, and I get sore more easily, but I feel much better mentally. My body is fixing itself, and I know that with time, things will level out.
Since detransitioning, I’ve embraced a very feminine presentation, which is a huge change from how I was before I even transitioned. It’s not overcompensating; it’s fun. I feel like I didn’t allow myself to enjoy feminine things for years, and now that I’ve taken that constraint off, it’s like a floodgate opened. Socially, it’s been a massive improvement. I’ve regained that easy, woman-to-woman social bond. I can compliment another woman on her outfit without it being seen as flirting or something weird. Everyone seems to love "Sarah" a lot more than they ever did "Stefan."
I’ve developed a way of coping where I see "Sarah" as just a conduit for how I interact with society. It’s a character I play, and it helps me distance myself from the physical and social realities that still sometimes feel wrong. I don’t tell people my secrets or about my past as Stefan; that’s for me. It might not be the most normal or healthy way to think, but my quality of life has improved so much that I wouldn’t change it.
I don’t have regrets about transitioning because it led me to where I am now, and I’ve learned so much about myself. But the experience of being transgender was dreadful for me. I feel a deep sympathy for people whose dysphoria is so severe that they feel they can't repress it, because attempting to transition was a despair I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | First realized I was bisexual. |
| Early High School | Developed a strong preference for women, wondered if I was a lesbian. Felt strong discomfort with puberty and my female body, hated my breasts. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone. Realized it worsened my dysphoria and I would never successfully pass as male. |
| 22 | Began my social detransition, re-embracing a feminine presentation and my female identity. |
| 23 | (Present) Early in physical detransition. Body and hormone levels are naturalizing. Attraction to women is returning strongly. |
Top Comments by /u/Same_Bee_4061:
This sub is for supporting detransitioners, not for giving men the go ahead to transition. Also, I feel the need to remind you that there is no female way of liking things or enjoying music. My sister doesn’t like Taylor Swift music and that doesn’t make her any less of a woman. Additionally your sexuality doesn’t make you a woman. Gay men are not women and thinking they are sounds to me like internalized homophobia. The dysphoria you report feeling about being a man with another man could just be more internalized homophobia. It’s okay to just be a gay man. If you’re going to make the decision to transition, which is your right as a grown ass man to decide to do, I suggest you stop stereotyping women beforehand
The same thing happened with me. I wasn’t seen as predatory as much as absolutely invisible, probably because I looked very young, like maybe teen at the oldest. The thing is whenever I get drunk I just compliment bomb everyone around me. As a girl it was great and I had a fun time chatting to random women I met at parties. As a boy people thought I was flirting. The first time I went out for drinks back in girl mode I got to fawn over a lady’s cute outfit and not be seen as a weirdo. She was super sweet. I’m so glad I’ve regained that woman to woman social bond.
Personally for me, transitioning made my dysphoria worse. Attempting to pass made me all too aware of every way I was failing to do so. Since detransitioning I still feel that sense of wrongness, a bit like I’m playing a character, but it’s preferable to the absolute despair of being transgender. I can’t speak for transgender people but the experience was dreadful. I feel bad for the people who’s dysphoria is so severe that they are incapable of repressing
Waiting too long in between shots like that can really mess up your hormone levels. The constant up and down isn’t good for your mental health or your body. Personally, I would pause testosterone and let my hormones level out before reassessing with a clear mind
It’s likely that they aren’t gendering you male as much as they are gendering you transmasc/non-binary. It’s super common for people to get asked their pronouns nowadays even if they are 100% gender conforming. Mostly females. If they really thought you were male they probably wouldn’t ask. Seriously I can’t remember the last time I saw a male get asked their pronouns. This could just be my area but it does make sense, a lot more females are non-binary or use pronouns that don’t stereotypically fit their gender presentation then males
I wouldn’t think twice about your voice if heard in real life. It definitely passes as female, although a bit strained. Like you maybe got over a cold recently. I’d try and speak just a touch lower to alleviate that, but unless someone is already looking for signs I don’t think they could tell
It depends on the area and social setting. I knew a trans guy who got fired very shortly after his boss found out he was trans. Then the boss refused to give him his last pay check. It was a whole thing. This happened in Florida. Violence is also a problem, although maybe less then they fear. Recently an 86 year old cis woman was brutally beaten because the assaulter wrongly assumed she was a trans woman.
Hello! I’m currently early in my detransition and also hyper feminine, especially compared to my pre-transition presentation. I wouldn’t say it’s overcompensating or anything super negative like that. I think feminine presenting is fun but I didn’t allowed myself to indulge in it for years. Now that I have taken that constraint off it’s like the floodgates are opened!
This is my experience, but luckily I’ve been able to sort of distance myself from my physical and social reality. ‘Sarah’ is a just a conduit for how I interact with society. It helps that everyone loves Sarah a lot more then they did Stefan. The issue of hiding a part of yourself I don’t struggle with. I don’t tell strangers any of my secrets, and I would never let them into my soul like that by telling then about Stefan. It may not be the most normative way of thinking, maybe not even the most healthy, but my quality of life has improved greatly by detransitioning so I wouldn’t change a thing
I relate a lot to this. I knew from very early on that I was bi (as soon as I first heard the term at age 9). Then in early high school I had such a strong preference for women that I thought I might have been a lesbian. After starting testosterone I found myself a lot more attracted to men then before which really confused me. As it’s leaving my system I’m regaining a lot of my attraction to women, thankfully