This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, passionate, and personal perspective on detransition.
- Emotional reactivity and personal investment, including anger and frustration, which is common for this user group.
- A coherent writing style with nuanced arguments that engage with the topic over a two-year period.
This is consistent with a genuine detransitioner or desister.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable in my own skin when I hit puberty as a female, and I thought my depression and anxiety meant I was born in the wrong body. I found escape online, where the rush of "gender euphoria" from presenting as non-binary convinced me that transitioning was the answer, so I started taking testosterone. The initial excitement faded, and I realized the hormones weren't fixing my underlying mental health problems, leaving me feeling more lost than ever. I'm now detransitioning and finally getting the right kind of therapy, which has helped me understand my discomfort was about trauma and self-esteem, not my body. I regret the physical changes but have found real self-understanding by facing my problems instead of running from them.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, but I didn't understand what was happening at the time. Looking back, I can see that a lot of my feelings were tied up with depression and a lot of anxiety. I had really low self-esteem and never felt like I fit in, especially during puberty. I hated the changes my body was going through; I felt uncomfortable and wrong in my own skin. I think a lot of this was just a deep discomfort with growing up, but I didn't know how to explain it.
I found a lot of comfort online. I spent a huge amount of time in online communities where people talked about gender. At first, I identified as non-binary because it felt like a way to escape the pressures of being a woman. It was like, if I wasn't a woman, then I didn't have to live up to all those expectations I felt so crushed by. The idea of "gender euphoria" was a big thing. I'd get a rush of good feelings when people used different pronouns or when I dressed a certain way, and I was convinced that this was the real me finally coming out. I now see that feeling was more about escapism than anything else. It was a relief to pretend to be someone else for a while.
This led me to start taking testosterone. I was convinced it was the solution to all my problems. For a little while, I felt better. I think it was just the excitement of taking action, of feeling like I was finally doing something about my misery. But the good feelings didn't last. The underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of being fundamentally broken—were still there. I just had a new problem to focus on: transitioning.
I started to have serious doubts. I saw that in the trans community, if you expressed fear or regret, you were often shut down or ostracized. People were afraid that doubt would spread. That made me feel even more alone. I realized that the concept of "gender euphoria" that had felt so real to me was actually really misleading. It's not a foolproof sign that you're trans. For me, it was a sign that I was desperately looking for any way to feel okay.
I never got surgery, but I thought about it a lot. I'm glad I didn't, because I now understand that my issues were more about body dysmorphia and hating puberty than actually being a man. My problems were mental and emotional, not a problem with my body that needed to be fixed with surgery or hormones. I needed therapy, but not the kind that just affirmed my new identity. I needed help to understand why I felt so terrible in the first place. I needed non-affirming therapy that would ask me the hard questions.
I don't think I was in a good place mentally to make such huge decisions. Just because you're a certain age doesn't mean you're emotionally mature enough. I was mentally ill and emotionally stunted, and I was making choices based on a desperate need to escape my own anguish. I see now that transition was a way I was lying to myself. It wasn't about having an inflated sense of self-importance, but it was definitely a way to avoid dealing with my real problems.
Do I have regrets? It's complicated. I regret not getting the right kind of help sooner. I regret that the only care offered to me was affirmation, when what I needed was someone to help me dig deeper. I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to where I am now, which is a place of much more self-understanding. But I regret the physical changes I went through and the time I lost.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
13-14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing body. Felt depressed and anxious. |
19 | Spent a lot of time in online communities, discovered non-binary identities. Felt "euphoria" from using new pronouns and dressing differently. |
20 | Started taking testosterone, believing it was the solution to my depression and discomfort. |
22-23 | Began to have serious doubts. Realized the underlying mental health issues were still present. Felt ostracized for expressing doubt online. |
24 (Now) | Stopped testosterone. Realized my issues were related to body dysmorphia and a need for escapism. Underwent therapy that addressed my underlying depression and anxiety. |
Top Comments by /u/Sanuzi:
What the fuck?
Edit: This tweet seems to nail it
'Detrans YouTuber, "Cluniac" has described this dynamic: in the trans community people who express doubt, regret, or fear about transition are ostracized because there is a fear that those feelings will spread.'
https://twitter.com/monabu/status/1517471013860216832?t=sdFJ4YYw4zmg4yPd6yif4A&s=19
Trans or not, people who are desperately struggling to avoid the anguish of mental suffering deserve our empathy, always. A large portion of people here went through the exact same mental anguish that this individual did. And yet here we are on the other side. Would you have celebrated our deaths if we killed ourselves in our darkest moments? Would you have gleefully smiled if we, so desperately convinced that transitioning was the solution, ended our lives because we couldn't continue to access care? Care that we believed was helping? Even if wasn't appropriate or what we really needed, it was the only care we were given at the time.
You are fucked up. Get help
You're not wrong about in saying that most people exhibit some kind of narcissistic traits. Narcissism itself, however, isn't just about lying to yourself. You can lie to yourself about who you are and still treat other people well. It's more about an inflated sense of self importance that harms interpersonal relationships and ultimately themselves
Just getting a sense of euphoria a few times you play dress up isn't a foolproof reason to transition. The idea of gender euphoria itself can be misleading. That concept contributed to leading me down the wrong path. Not buying it
Edit: lmao this motherfucker blocked me for this comment. So much for open discourse. Enjoy your echo chamber
People who are mentally ill, emotionally immature, and have stunted social growth are not beholden to this age rule you have. Just because you're physically 25 doesn't mean you're mentally well enough to make life changing decisions in any way shape or form