This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a high degree of personal, consistent, and nuanced storytelling about the user's life as a "straight tomboy," including specific details about her career, hobbies, relationship, and long-term mental journey. The language is passionate and contains the kind of anger and criticism one might expect from a desister who feels harmed by trans ideology. The arguments are complex and show a developed, consistent worldview over time, which is not typical of bot behavior.
About me
I was a tomboy who felt different from other girls and hated the changes of female puberty. I later thought I might be trans because I matched all the signs I read online, but I never actually was. I found my way by focusing on my career, the gym, and my hobbies instead of transitioning. I learned to accept my body and express myself as a masculine woman without medical intervention. I am now confident and happy with a partner who loves me for exactly who I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a kid. I was a major tomboy and always felt different from other girls. I loved men's clothing, science, weight lifting, and video games. I hated the idea of having children and getting my period felt like a huge betrayal of my body. I remember being so jealous of the boys who could just take their shirts off at the beach or while playing sports. I was thankful that my chest was very small, and I wore a sports bra every single day to get an even flatter look. I think if I had known that top surgery was an option back then, I might have been tempted to get it and I would have regretted it so much now.
Puberty was really hard for me. I got my period at 13 and it felt like my life was over. It was painful, messy, and a constant reminder of a body I didn't want. I saw my brother and other boys my age just living their lives, worried about homework and games, while I was dealing with cramps and bleeding. I built up a lot of resentment and started wishing every day that I had been born a boy instead.
In college, starting around 2016, trans issues were everywhere. People talked about it all the time to show how progressive they were, but I never actually met a trans person. I started reading about the signs that you might be trans, and it was haunting because I matched every single one. According to that logic, I should have been a trans man. I even thought that maybe I’d have better luck dating if I were a man or a lesbian, but I knew deep down I was straight and attracted to men. I just suffered in silence for a long time.
I spent most of my young life imagining my future self as a man. It’s only very recently, as I’m about to turn 25, that I’ve started to picture myself growing into a woman. It took a lot of time and work to get here. What helped me the most was not transitioning, but finding other ways to cope. Going to the gym became a huge part of my life; it’s 50% of my personality now. It gave me confidence and stopped me from ruminating on my body image. I also learned to cook, focused on my career in biotech, and just threw myself into my hobbies.
I also had to change how I thought about things. If I wanted to wear men’s clothes, I did. If a song lyric said “man” and I pictured myself, I let myself. I stopped caring if people thought it was weird for a woman to say something like “I’m a man of few words.” I let the feelings of dysphoria come and go without giving them too much power.
Looking back, I see that my discomfort wasn’t because I was born in the wrong body. It was a mix of hating the discomforts of female puberty, resenting the different expectations for boys and girls, and just being a straight tomboy in a world that didn’t have a place for me. I don’t believe anyone is born with a brain of the opposite sex. I think these feelings come from real pain and stress, but medical transition isn’t the answer. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary feeling.
I am so grateful I never medically transitioned. The thought of having amputated body parts or a ruined endocrine system horrifies me. I’ve seen the complications from surgeries and I know it can’t be undone. I don’t have any regrets about not transitioning, but I do regret the years I spent unhappy and wishing I was someone else. I’m now with a wonderful man who loves me for who I am, a tomboy woman, and I’m finally becoming confident in my own skin.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Got my first period. Felt intense discomfort and resentment towards my female body. |
| 13-18 | Wore a sports bra daily to achieve a flat chest. Wished I had been born a boy. |
| 18 | Started college. Was exposed to heavy discussion of trans issues but never identified with it. |
| 18-22 | During undergrad, struggled with dating and wondered if life would be easier as a man or lesbian, but remained silent. |
| 22-24 | Pursued graduate degree. Continued to wrestle with dysphoria but focused on gym, cooking, and career. |
| 25 | Reached a point of much greater confidence and self-acceptance as a straight tomboy woman. |
Top Comments by /u/Sarcastic_Scientist_:
I’ve been mulling this over ever since I started college in 2016. On my campus trans issues were heavily discussed but I never met a trans or so-called non binary person during my undergrad or graduate years. It was definitely a topic to virtue signal and show how much one supposedly cared about other human beings and their happiness with absolutely no understanding of what the surgeries and hormone therapies actually do to a human.
And 7 years later in 2023… I can say I’ve thought about this more than the average person, and no. Being trans in the way the activists and community mean it is not real. Displeasure with your body, dysphoria (opposite of euphoria) surrounding your sex, body dysmorphia, body integrity disorders, and a feeling of no identity or being lost and not belonging in this overbearing world are very real feelings and experiences. I personally have felt each of those things I listed. I’m a straight tomboy woman and it took decades for me to be more confident in myself. Despite the deep work, I still have anxiety, social, and anger issues. Healing isn’t linear.
No one is born in the wrong body. No one is born with the brain of the opposite sex. Your sex determines every developmental stage you undergo from zygote to adult. Every dividing cell, every growth spurt, puberty (even second and third puberty given newer research), and how you reproduce or don’t reproduce is guided by your sex and corresponding endocrine system. Being “transgender” as some immutable truth like is popular to believe today is not a phenomenon. What is a phenomenon is intense displeasure and stress and reduced self esteem from something in the world convincing you you’re in the wrong body or you’re the wrong kind of man/woman.
The other issue is that many research efforts to study the physical, psychological, and physiological aspects of trans people get shut down by activists for being “transphobic.”
If they truly believed the numbers they shout from the mountaintops about trans joy and minimal regret rates, they should want more studies done with long follow up periods. If the immutable trans identity was real, it would hold up to study and studies would help establish better care guidelines to get trans people what they need and avoid regret.
But they know it’s not true. They know therapy can spur people to desist and they know the co morbidities with other mental health conditions (like autism) and they know the detrans rate is more than 1% and they know it’s a social contagion, not that the rising numbers of trans identification being caused by “more acceptance.” It’s somehow the increased acceptance that’s causing more people to come out but also there is a trans genocide and it’s the worst time to be a trans person?
Their words and actions don’t aline. It’s all disingenuous and deceptive.
It’s true. They hate anyone who isn’t trans. They want more “trans” people to come out and transition… yet ignore that not identifying with your birth sex used to be a RARE thing. Incredibly rare. Then they claim the numbers of trans people aren’t increasing. Even though they clearly are. Being cis (I hate that term) is the overwhelming vast majority of human existence. And being same sex attracted isn’t enough for them anymore. It’s all a big self hatred self harm mutilation cult now.
Also… I’m afraid to ask but I don’t even know what they mean by “queer” anymore. That word is thrown around so much I’ve lost any concept of what they’re referring to when activists say it.
I agree. If trans and nonbinary “always existed and will always exist” like is stated… then this would repeat in historical documents, be noted in the early establishment that became western medicine, documented in eastern healing texts, and persist in areas removed from the developed world. As would suicide at not being “affirmed.” You’d see documentation of it. If it was real I t would persist through time.
But it doesn’t. People looking forward to amputating healthy body parts, taking synthetic hormones, and demanding to be called “they” as a singular pronoun within normal circles of known friends and family doesn’t appear through the world and through history.
Gender role nonconformity, name changes, androgyny, and diversity in hobbies and interested of men and women of all kinds are elements of the human experience that persist through history and cultures.
Trans activists shut down attempts at clinical trials on trans medical “care.” There is interest. But the activists know their rhetoric won’t hold up in longitudinal clinical trials so they convince university systems to shut down that research on the grounds of it being “transphobic.”
You sound like you’re going about this in a fantastic way. Serve as a woman and get a chance to experience real adult life and responsibilities as a woman and see how you feel at 25 or so. You’ve done nothing irreversible yet and that’s fantastic. Explore who you are while you pursue your dream of serving in the navy! ♥️
They had a post a bit ago rejoicing the other “transphobic” subs getting taken down. Much to the chagrin of many there, they said “oh wait…. r/detrans is still up….”
I think they’d rather us simply be dead from the same suicidal thoughts they suffer from than hear another point of view.
This exactly. Even though more is being said about how bad periods and puberty actually are for young girls, it’s still not talked about enough. It’s just the beginning stages of learning to keep your pain to yourself and suffer in silence, something most women stay conditioned to do as adults. Myself included. Plus, girls are getting their periods younger and younger. Making the experience even more traumatic.
I got my period at 13 and I still personally feel like I was too young for that kind of life curveball. No girl gets to choose when her periods start, but I had friends who got theirs at 15 or so and I envied them so much. In addition to teen girlhood mostly being hell from the start, you can’t go back from it. At least I personally feel those freedoms and bliss you lose between being a female child and a teen girl is an irreversible psyche change. One can’t go back to the pre-female-puberty peace of mind.
I was definitely envious of my brother and other teen boys I knew during that time of my life. It felt like while I was dealing with the discomfort of being made to wear a bra, having to clean up blood clots that came out of me, learning to use tampons which I hated at the time, and dealing with cramps that made me unable to stand, my male counter parts were only worried about homework and what video came they wanted to play after school.
I built up a huge amount of resentment towards boys because of that dichotomy and I wished every day I had just been born a boy. And it took me a very long time to be at peace with being female and try to enjoy it rather than just tolerating it like I had lost the most important lottery a person is subjected to, the sex I was born as.
Save yourself the regret of having amputated body parts and a ruined endocrine system. These are things that can never be undone and never returned to their original state. When people mature, their view points compared to their younger self beliefs change and grow with their life experience.
If nothing else compels you to Not transition, avoid it to be kind to your future self. You will want your body to naturally produce testosterone, you will want your genitalia intact, and you will not want the feminizing effects of estrogen when you are older.
Seek therapy (not trans affirming therapy) to get at the root of why you’d like to be a woman. I’m a woman who spent most of her young life wishing to be a man.
Trust me. I turn 25 soon. You do not want to be a mutilated version of yourself once you get older.
Be kind to yourself and find healing in ways that don’t involve surgery and synthetic hormones that can’t be reversed. Learn to cook. Go to the gym. Join a club. Get outside. Read a good book. Throw yourself into a hobby. Something you love to distract yourself from the dysphoria.
I used to think like this. You need to rip the bandaid off and start with one activity you really want to do. Push yourself to do it in a way that makes you happy regardless of what anyone else may think!
If you want to go to the gym go for it! I love the gym! It’s also very very difficult for women to get bulky in the way you’re picturing. Power lifters and body builders work their whole lives to look like that. Working out about an hour each day for enjoyment will dramatically improve your mental state!