This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic and not a bot. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is inauthentic.
The user demonstrates deep, nuanced knowledge of therapy, detransition, and gender dysphoria, referencing specific therapeutic techniques (CBT, DBT, downward arrow), research (Zucker 2021, Cass Report), and providing personalized, empathetic advice. The comments show a consistent, passionate perspective critical of gender-affirming care, which aligns with a genuine desister/detransitioner's lived experience and advocacy. The mention of a broken wrist delaying posts adds a human, personal detail that is not typical of bot behavior.
About me
I started questioning my identity as a female in my late teens, influenced by online communities and my own deep unhappiness. I thought becoming a man would solve everything, so I socially transitioned and started testosterone at 21. I eventually realized my confidence came from personal growth, not from being male, and that I had confused my mental health struggles with being transgender. With the help of therapy, I learned to accept my body and stopped hormones after four years. I'm now a woman rebuilding my life, with some regrets about the permanent changes, but I'm focused on my mental health and self-acceptance.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started in my late teens. I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during and after puberty. I hated my breasts and felt a general unease with looking female. I now believe this was a mix of body dysmorphia and the normal awkwardness that comes with growing up. I was also struggling with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem, which made everything feel much worse.
I spent a lot of time online and was heavily influenced by what I saw. I started identifying as non-binary, which felt like a less intimidating first step. Eventually, I came to believe I was a trans man. I think a lot of this was a form of escapism; I thought transitioning would solve my deep-seated unhappiness and allow me to become a completely different, more confident person. I socially transitioned, asking people to use a new name and he/him pronouns for me. I started testosterone when I was 21.
Being on testosterone did change things. I liked the way my voice dropped and some of the other changes, but I also became increasingly aware that I still looked like a man while requesting people use she/her for me, which felt confusing and inauthentic. I began to realize that my confidence wasn't coming from being perceived as male; it was coming from me finally taking action and setting boundaries. I was mistaking personal growth for a change in gender.
I started to question everything. I found a therapist who didn't just affirm my choices but helped me explore the reasons behind them. This non-affirming therapy was incredibly beneficial. We worked on my OCD tendencies and my issues with internal and external validation. I learned that my feelings of gender dysphoria were very similar to body dysmorphic disorder. I had to untangle what it meant to be a woman from what it meant to be feminine. I realized that being a woman is a biological fact and that I don't have to perform femininity in any specific way to be one.
I stopped testosterone after about four years. I never got any surgeries, though I had seriously considered top surgery. I'm grateful now that I didn't. I've come to see my body not as something wrong that needed to be fixed, but just as my body. I have regrets about transitioning. I regret not getting more psychological help first and not exploring other ways to cope with my distress. I don't think medical transition was the right path for me, and I'm sad about the permanent changes from testosterone, though I've learned to accept them.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social concept, but sex is biological. I don't believe people are "born in the wrong body." I think we can have deep discomfort with our bodies and societal expectations, and for some, transition feels like the only answer. But for me, the answer was in addressing my mental health, building my self-esteem from within, and learning that I could be a woman my own way.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-17 | Experienced significant puberty discomfort, depression, and anxiety. Hated developing breasts. |
| 18 | Heavily influenced online; began identifying as non-binary. |
| 19 | Socially transitioned to male, using a new name and he/him pronouns. |
| 21 | Started testosterone. |
| 25 | Began seriously questioning my transition; sought non-affirming therapy. Stopped testosterone. |
| 26 | Accepted my detransition and began identifying as female again. |
Top Comments by /u/SavvyMomsTips:
Article on people who detransitioned https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/02/opinion/transgender-children-gender-dysphoria.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
Dangers of transition https://www.thefp.com/p/gender-affirming-care-dangerous-finland-doctor
Puberty blockers https://youtu.be/Nb8k5gBFfgE?si=ouOAoXtGrFJFM-Sl
Hormone risks
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/masculinizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385099
Need any other resources?
It makes sense you had a hard time with this. Trans activists have done a lot of work to teach therapists that people are born trans and that it's hateful to try to "change their gender." So claiming you're healed is acknowledging that for you there was something wrong with being trans. It goes against gender affirming care.
If you feel up for it you could try to educate the therapist and ask them to read the Cass report. https://cass.independent-review.uk/home/publications/final-report/
"I guess my main discomfort comes from still looking like a man while requesting people use she/her for me"
Most people don't tell someone what pronouns to use. If the pronouns aren't causing you distress you could just not bring them up and let people use whatever pronouns they use. It will let you know when you start looking female.
I think the assumption is faulty. What people wear, hormones they take, or surgeries they have are all choices. Trans is used to describe an identity, but it's actually a choice. A choice to live according to how someone feels. The choice to detrans is complicated because people often still feel the same, but make a different choice about transition. Those feelings may change over time, but in all situations emotions tend to change as a result of action taken, not the other way around.
You're a person, not a statistic. Statistics are made up of people's experiences, not the other way around. Just because someone else has a different experience than yours doesn't mean that's what's right for you or what you're going to do.
Plus that's the only thing the gender affirming crowd can say so that they don't look too permissive or pushy.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I got extremely down voted on a therapist sub for suggesting therapy for a 13 year old. I got accused of not even being a therapist because GAC is "life saving care." I'm thinking of writing a blog about it. Trans activist groups have "educated" therapists and even lawyers on trans rights and it has caused numerous problems. I think any professional using the live or dead option should be reported for malpractice.
Teen girls are more at risk of falling into any social contagion. Social contagion explains the increase in trans teens/young adults. The percentage increases by generation are significant and don't make sense without a social contagion aspect. There are numerous other mental health factors that contribute as well.
When they're wet they help keep me cool on hot days.
The results on transition as treatment aren't impressive. There is evidence that various types of therapy help with distress and there are professionals in the field who advocate for the use of those treatment models. Zucker 2021 showed that for boys who aren't socially transitioned most grow out of their gender dysphoria in their teen years. So there is evidence that not transitioning can be more beneficial than transitioning. There has been a lot of research coming out over the last 6 months.
You can't generalize your experience to other people. What may be true for you can be completely irrelevant to other people. I know men who have never experienced attraction to women and are attracted to men. Sexual orientation has to do with sexual attraction. I think people are spending too much time focusing on what other people say (specifically online) instead of living life and learning about themselves.