Personally, I think the problem is that women are being taught that they should be "strong," but strong in ways that men are strong instead of ways that women are strong.

Sorry, you will never beat men in arm wrestling, but why the EFF is that any woman's barometer for value?

I believe there's an issue where, when you equate men and women, and pretend they're exactly the same, you end up confusing the ever-living out of everyone, men and women.

Men think they're big, stupid, ugly brutes that women hate.

Women think they're weak, worthless children who will never match up to men.

It's insane how we never stop to think, "Isn't it narcissistic and presumptuous to think that the other gender has it easier and that my life would be better if I had been born a girl/guy?"

The gall we have!

At eleven, why are his parents allowing him to take the lead?

It's a tired, tired argument, but it's just agonizingly true: If you're child wants to remove his limbs or jump into a lake (even though he can't swim) or play with the knives or play cops and robbers with your actual, loaded guns, do you actually let him?

I think it's because homosexual men don't threaten MtF people, but female homosexuals are a threat to MtF, specifically those of the autogynephilia persuasion who are really just straight men lusting after their own perceived femaleness. But pass-the-baton is more fun with two players and lesbians aren't into sticks.

Different person here:

Biology. Your body doesn't merely have the superficial parts. Every single cell and program in your body is geared toward the female.

You don't need to necessarily conform to any specific thing to continue being the sex that you definitionally are.

As a man who wished to be a girl at one point, I had a "I've failed as a man" mentality. I actually grew into appreciation of my masculinity, even my hairy knuckles, but even if I hadn't, looking back now I'd have to advise my past self to not pursue this unnatural alteration.

There's every likelihood that you will never feel like more than a weak half-man and a mutilated woman. That's the kind of reality that the psychiatrists and sex-change doctors are not going to even mention as a possibility.

I've wondered this too. As a male who feels that he pretty thoroughly understands MTF feelings, I'm not sure how it translates to female-to-male transition.
For males, it's a combination of feeling like a failure as a man, feeling lonely and thinking you'll be less lonely as a woman, and sexual fetishism.

A lot of detrans people who don't fit this precise mold, both MtF and FtM, seem to report a general depression, dissatisfaction or otherwise felt that something was "missing," and that insecurity was used by others (maliciously or not) to convince them that it was their sex that was the problem. "You're actually a X in a X's body," and it sounded right to them.

It wasn't right, of course.

Take teen angst and add in a side of legal mutilation and this is what you get.
I can see myself, in the right circumstances, ushered through this same process.
I'm sorry, Miku (I hope you don't mind me using your first name) I understand the horror.
I know that you can improve though, if only you don't succumb to your despair.

"Where could I have gotten these thoughts from?"

Well, you mentioned a few in your own post. Porn, not the least of which. Podcasts. Mainstream media. Trans ideology is being pushed quite heavily right now.
A lot of your experience sounds like mine. I assume I'm older than you though, because when I was going through the experience of hating myself, wishing I were a girl, agonizing about it, the trans thing hadn't happened yet, so I had very little to reinforce my delusion other than porn itself, and only a madman would make life decisions based on that.

I have no idea what you should do. I know what worked for me, but I suspect that it was a combination of what I did, who I was and where I was in life at the time that allowed it to work:

I decided that I not only wanted to be a man, but that, actually, I was a man. I had felt for a long time that I was a failure, that I had let down mankind and would be better off as a woman. Never mind the arrogance and ignorance of this thinking (is a woman just a man but without responsibilities?).
But there was a point where I decided that being a man was fine. It was good, even. Masculinity is good. It's O.K. to have hair on my knuckles and 60% greater upper body strength on average. Men are great!
So I leaned into it. I let myself be a man. I also made myself be a man. I worked out, I enjoyed time with my male friends. I looked at women as women, and at myself as a man in relation to them. I'm taller than most women, stronger than most women. Broader shoulders. I have inherent characteristics that they will never be able to match.
I AM a man. And that's a good thing.

If I were to transition, I would be a second-rate woman at best, and trust me, NO ONE will EVER see you as a full woman no matter what you do. And every time I think about what I would do as a woman, I realize that it largely revolves around sex. It's just a sexual fetish for the most part. It's insidious, and tries to tell you it's more. You feel like you "belong" to that "world," yet you know nothing really about it. From your DNA to your skin, literally your SKIN, you are male. You may as well wish you were a willow tree.

Anyway, that's what helped me.

I think most women today really don't strongly believe in gender roles anyway. Oh, they adhere to them, but it's just whatever they absorb from those around them, or, best-case scenario, what their mothers teach them.

I don't think you need to worry. Biology will take care of most of it. Focus on being a good person, instead.

Shoot, I'm afraid to say anything negative about the trans movement IN THIS VERY SUB, for fear that I'll be banned for "hate-speech," despite the fact that many people indicate that it's been harmful due to over-diagnosis and fast-tracking, not to mention people (am I allowed to say this?) being groomed into it.

You think it's perfectly reasonable that a record number of people are chopping off their genitals and feeling this kind of "dysphoria" these days? Like, it's just a coincidence?
There's a push for it. Whether that's grassroots or something else, I ain't here to say, but it ain't normal.

I actually did a Youtube video reading the first chapter or so of the first Warrior Cats book. It was my introduction to the series and I got a good laugh out of it. I'm willing to bet I'd have been into it as a kid, but I didn't get the introduction.
It was animorphs and Babysitters Club for me, all the way.