This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister. The comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative about male detransition.
- Deep engagement with complex topics (feminism, literature, video games) in a way that reads as human.
- A passionate but critical perspective that aligns with the stated experiences of many detransitioners.
About me
I was born male but grew to hate the expectations and social role that came with it. I thought becoming a woman was the only way to escape my deep discomfort with manhood, so I began taking hormones. I eventually realized my desire was rooted in a negative view of men and a misplaced admiration for women, and that I could never actually be female. I decided to stop focusing on gender completely and to just live as a human being. Now, I am learning to find peace with who I am, not by changing my body, but by changing my mind.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep discomfort that I didn't understand. I was born male, but from a young age, I hated the expectations and the social role that came with it. I saw masculinity as something predatory and animalistic, and learning about concepts like the "male gaze" made me feel miserable. I felt that just by being a man, my existence was inherently problematic. I looked at women and admired their strength, especially seeing them navigate a world that often seemed set against them. I mistakenly thought that the only way to escape the negative feelings I had about being male was to become a woman.
I started to believe that transition was the only path to freedom from my male body and the troubles I associated with it. I thought it was a shortcut to a better, more authentic life. I began identifying as a woman and started taking hormones. For a while, it felt like a solution. It felt like I was finally aligning my outside with how I felt on the inside, which was primarily a deep-seated rejection of manhood.
But that feeling didn't last. I reached a point of realization where I knew, from the bottom of my heart, that I would never actually be female. I had taken a shortcut, but it was built on a delusion. I came to understand that my desire to transition was rooted in a negative view of men and a misplaced admiration for women. I realized it's a very male-centric thing to see something wonderful—like the strength of women—and to feel that you must therefore claim it for yourself. I had to learn that I could admire, appreciate, and learn from women without forcing myself to become one.
My biggest turning point was deciding to stop thinking about gender and sex completely. I realized that our existence as human beings isn't defined by identity tags like "gay man" or "trans woman." I am trying to just live as a human being, which is incredibly difficult in a society that is so hard-wired to see everyone through a gendered lens. Letting go of the constant need to figure out my gender has been liberating. Gender is just a small part of life, and my life wasn't doomed just because I couldn't solve my gender troubles.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a necessary journey for me to arrive at this understanding. It was a painful but essential process of learning that you can't run from yourself. I benefited from realizing that we can examine and combat what we hate about the male experience without denying our biology. It's painful and depressing to confront, but it's ultimately more liberating to say, "Okay, I hate men who act like that, and I can choose not to be like that."
I now believe the goal is to return from the alienation that masquerades as power or an upgrade and to accept your original, imperfect self. My thoughts on gender now are that it shouldn't define our lives. We should find other things to focus on for our mental health. My journey taught me that the answer wasn't in changing my body to fit an idea, but in changing my mind to find peace with who I am.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| Late Teens/Early 20s | N/A | Began to intensely dislike being male and the social role of masculinity. |
| Early 20s | N/A | Started taking hormones and socially identifying as a woman. |
| 25 | March 2025 | Realized I would never be female and began to detransition. Stopped focusing on gender identity. |
Top Comments by /u/Separate-Ad-9633:
Happy international woman's day to all women in the sub! Great respects for your struggles against the most twisted form of modern patriarchy ❤️
To my male friends in the sub: We can admire, appreciate and learn from women, without forcing ourselves to become one. If you find male stereotypes suck and look up to women, that's great, but it does not mean you need to be a woman. Know our limitations, and we might actually improve ourselves.
I think one major theme for us is returning from alienation masquerade as powers/benefits/upgrades and accept your original, imperfect self, which is quite different from the Hero's Journey metanarrative in a normal game.
One thing comes to my mind is Knight of the Old Repulbic 2 (bc it's my favorite rpg), where the protagonist is a Jedi who gave up on her Jedi force powers. She was guided by an immensely wise but flawed old woman Kreia, who rejects the divide of the light and dark side of the Force and argues the Force makes people who wield it its tools. If we take Force as a bizarre metaphor for gender, I can see it represents our experiences in some ways(but people may argue in an opposite direction, it's very open-ended).
Kreia is also one of the best written female characters in game history imho. "I use the Force as I would use a poison, and in the hopes of understanding it, I will learn the way to kill it. But perhaps these are the excuses of an old woman who has grown to rely on a thing she despises." such great quotes.
I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Frankenstein, like most masterpieces, opens itself to many interpretations. When I was re-reading it I was trying to adopt a feminist lens so I saw in Frankenstein not only a proud man playing god but also an ignorant man usurping motherhood, a jab at Romanticist heroes of the time.
Your point about the creature being a toddler is very well put. I didn't think of it that way because how devious and eloquent it is portrayed but yes the creature never reached maturity. My view on masculinity is probably more negative than yours but even then, I think we all recognize that male social roles usually have restraints and responsibilities to rein in the more destructive parts of human behavior, whether we attribute them to masculinity, immaturity or animal instincts. The failure to understand that is tragic for Frankenstein's monster, as well as for those who are escaping from or embracing masculinity without fully understanding it.
I felt very miserable after learning the concept male gaze for even things as innocent as looking at people can be predatory when you are a man. Not that I deny the truth in feminist concepts(in fact they are more validated by trans experiences) but the conceptualization of male as a predatory, animalistic group was a big reason for me wanting to escape.
You are not alone my dear friend. Many detrans males, myself included, hate being male, yet we are not able to make the leap of faith to say "by transition I will be free from my male body, masculinity and all the troubles". I am afraid that you, like many of us, will find it hard to delude yourself once you already have that realization.
My advice to you is that we can examine and combat what we hate in a male's life without taking the shortcut by claiming not to be one. It's painful and depressing, but it can be liberating to say "Okay, I hate men like that, and I can be not like that". Today is the international woman's day, it's a wonderful day, but it's a very male thing to say something must be mine because it's wonderful.
If hormone helps you with your body dysphoria you can still follow your doctor's advice, but do consider detransition. And please don't lose hope, gender is not everything. In fact, gender should not define our lives. Find something else to focus on could help your mental health too.
I feel for you, really. I was struggling because I really don't want to be male yet I know, from the bottom of my heart, that I won't be a female. My advice is to stop thinking about gender and sex completely. Our existence, as human being, are not identified by things like gay man or tw, and you don't have to force yourself into a pre-defined identity tag. Try just live as a human being. It's hard because our society and culture is so hard-wired to think everyone as gendered being, but try escaping from that will help your mental health. Gender is, in fact, just a small part of our live so do not lose hope and think your life is doomed, even if you can not figure out your gender troubles at the moment.