genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Shadowweavers's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 15 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
serious health complications
became religious
puberty discomfort
anxiety
eating disorder
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.

The user's story is highly consistent over time, with specific, personal details about their transition, detransition, and the physical and emotional consequences. The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and emotional depth that aligns with a genuine, passionate individual sharing a difficult personal experience. The advice given is nuanced and repetitive in a way that reflects a deeply held personal belief, not a script.

About me

I started thinking I was a boy at twelve because I hated the changes of puberty, especially my developing breasts. I began testosterone at nineteen, but it didn't fix my underlying anxiety and self-esteem issues. I stopped after a year and realized my desire to transition was just a way to escape from myself. Now, I'm learning to accept being a masculine woman and healing from the physical effects of hormones and binding. I regret not getting real help for my mental health first, but I'm finally finding peace.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was about twelve years old. Puberty was hitting me hard, and I hated what was happening to my body. I especially hated my breasts; they felt wrong and I was deeply uncomfortable with them. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was a normal feeling for a girl going through such big changes. I thought this discomfort meant I was supposed to be a boy.

I was completely sure I was trans by the time I was fifteen. I socially transitioned then, changing my name and pronouns. I got a letter of recommendation for testosterone from my school guidance counselor, which was way too easy. She didn't ask me any hard questions or suggest I talk to a real therapist first. My mom had her doubts and felt I wasn't really trans, but she wanted to be supportive so she didn't push back much. Looking back, I kinda wish she had sat me down for a real talk instead of just trying to spare my feelings.

I started taking testosterone when I was nineteen. I was already conflicted about continuing to transition by around seventeen, but I ignored those feelings and pushed forward. Being on T didn't solve my problems. My mental health issues were still there. I had low self-esteem, anxiety, and what I now realize were body image issues linked to a possible eating disorder. Transitioning was like putting a bandage on a deep wound without cleaning it first.

I was on T for about a year before I detransitioned at twenty. Stopping hormones was the best decision I made. It gave me the space to finally work on my real problems. I learned that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I thought becoming a man would fix everything and make me feel respected, but it was just running away from myself. I had to learn to accept myself as I am, and that started with just being neutral about my body. I had to stop being my own biggest bully.

The medical side of things left me with some lasting issues. Testosterone changed my voice, and I hate how it sounds now, though it's gotten a bit better over time. Binding my chest for years messed up my breast tissue and caused me a lot of pain; for the longest time, I couldn't even wear a loose bra without hurting. I'm pretty sure it worsened some stomach issues I have, too. I didn't get any surgeries, but I still have physical complications from trying to change my body.

A big part of my healing was reconnecting with my faith. I didn't start believing in God again until after I detransitioned, and now I feel closer to Him than I ever did before. I think He would be sad that I was in so much pain that I felt I needed to change the body He made for me.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to be a masculine woman. You don't have to dress or act a certain way to be a woman. Your interests and who you're attracted to don't define your gender. The only thing that makes someone trans is real, persistent gender dysphoria, and for me, that dysphoria was actually just a symptom of other issues like puberty discomfort and low self-esteem.

I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret not getting proper therapy first to deal with my underlying mental health problems. I regret that no one told me it was completely normal for a girl to hate her body during puberty and that those feelings usually go away. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body. But I don't regret detransitioning and finding my way back to myself.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

My Age Event
12 Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and puberty changes. Began to think I was trans.
15 Socially transitioned (changed name/pronouns). Got a letter for hormones from my school counselor.
17 Started feeling conflicted about continuing to transition, but ignored it.
19 Started taking testosterone.
20 Stopped testosterone and began to detransition.
22 (Present) Have been off testosterone for almost 2 years and am living as a woman again.

Top Comments by /u/Shadowweavers:

16 comments • Posting since July 18, 2021
Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains why she thought she was trans from 12-19, attributing it to the normal difficulty of puberty and body hatred, and advises giving it time.
46 pointsApr 17, 2022
View on Reddit

I thought I was trans from 12-19.

Puberty is hard on girls (I can’t speak for guys but I assume it’s hard for them too). It’s normal for girls to hate their body during puberty.

I was 100% sure about being trans at 15. Now I’m happy as a woman. Give it time. It is possible that it’s just hormones and all the crazy changes that you get from being in the middle of puberty.

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains that attraction, interests, and clothing don't determine if someone is trans, stating the only factor is gender dysphoria. They advise waiting on medical transition, sharing their personal experience that dysphoria starting at 13 went away by 17-19, and noting it's normal for girls to dislike their bodies during puberty.
32 pointsJun 21, 2022
View on Reddit

Who you’re attracted to doesn’t determine whether or not you’re trans. Neither do interests or clothing. Just because you prefer boy clothes doesn’t mean you’re a boy. Just because you like women doesn’t mean you’re a boy, and just because you like men doesn’t mean you’re a woman. Sexuality and interests have nothing to do with it. The only thing that makes someone trans is gender dysphoria.

I’d say wait on medically transitioning, because it could just be related to puberty. My dysphoria started around the same age and it eventually went away around age 17-19 (not sure exactly when)

A lot of girls don’t realize that it’s normal to dislike your body during puberty. There’s a lot of sudden changes, unwanted attention, and raging hormones. Once everything calms down most of them are fine. It may be the same for you

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) comments on a past Omegle conversation that predicted her reverse dysphoria, explaining her transition was an attempt to cure unrelated mental health issues.
30 pointsNov 9, 2021
View on Reddit

Before I started transitioning I used to go on Omegle and talk to people about being trans. One time I matched with someone and told them I thought I was trans. Then they said something along the lines of “if you were born male you would still want to change your gender” I thought they were an asshole back then but looking back I think they were right. I had some pretty bad mental health issues that I thought would be cured by transitioning, but obviously they weren’t

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains why she advises waiting on medical transition, noting that body hatred during female puberty is often temporary.
28 pointsApr 24, 2022
View on Reddit

I felt the same way when I was 16. Something I wish someone had told me when I was that age is that it’s normal for girls to hate their body during puberty. In most cases it goes away after a while.

I suggest holding off on hormones and surgery until you’re older. And get therapy for your body image issues

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains that body dysphoria during puberty is normal for girls and advises practicing self-love or neutrality to overcome it.
22 pointsAug 19, 2022
View on Reddit

Give it time. It’s completely normal for a girl to hate her body when she’s going through puberty. I went through the same thing. It’ll get better. Try practicing self love (or, if that’s too hard, neutrality first. Just try to stop thinking about yourself/ your body negatively)

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) advises those conflicted about transitioning to stop hormones and take a break to focus on mental health and self-reflection.
13 pointsFeb 7, 2022
View on Reddit

My advice to anyone who is conflicted on whether or not to continue transitioning is to stop hormones and take a break. Give yourself time to work on your mental health and decide whether continuing transitioning is right for you.

Also, may I ask what your religion is now? Why do you feel like hrt is a mistake spiritually?

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) advises a struggling FTM user that their dysphoria may be a temporary reaction to puberty, suggesting it often improves after age 16-20.
12 pointsApr 30, 2022
View on Reddit

Give it more time. Your dysphoria could just be caused by puberty. I don’t know you so I can’t say if there are any other factors that could be causing it for you, but I do know a lot of girls hate their body during puberty, and if that’s what’s going on, it will get better once all your hormones and shit calm down (probably between the ages of 16-20)

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains why therapy and self-acceptance should be prioritized over transitioning for issues like past trauma or internalized homophobia.
6 pointsJun 20, 2022
View on Reddit

I think it depends on the person.

Therapy can be good for anyone. Sometimes there are underlying reasons someone might think they’re trans that they don’t even realize. Like past history of sexual abuse, internalized homophobia/sexism, eating disorders, etc. basically if you have any of those experiences/problems (or other mental health issues) get help for those FIRST. Transitioning is not gonna cure all of your problems. Sometimes it even makes them worse.

It might not work for everyone, but what helped me is learning to love/accept myself the way I am. I wasn’t even trying to cure my dysphoria when I did that, but when I did my dysphoria pretty much vanished. But if you try that, start small. The first step to self love is neutrality. Try to stop any negative thoughts about yourself/your body. Accept that this is your body, and you deserve to be treated with respect, including by yourself. A lot of people won’t admit that their biggest bully is themselves :( and even if that doesn’t cure your dysphoria, it will still help with self esteem. And I’m not gonna pretend like it was easy, because it wasn’t. It took years. But like I said, either way, it will help

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) advises that dressing feminine isn't required to be a woman and suggests taking a break from medical transition to explore self-acceptance without labels.
6 pointsApr 18, 2022
View on Reddit

For one, you don’t need to dress feminine to be a woman. There are tons of women who dress masculine and are happy being women. So if you aren’t comfortable dressing feminine that’s fine.

And idk if you’re on hormone or planning to go on hormones/get surgery, but I suggest taking a break from that stuff and just being yourself. Don’t assign any labels. Maybe try to accept yourself the way you are (which is the first step to loving yourself) whether you’re trans or not, that will help you a lot.

How old were you when you realized you were trans?

Reddit user Shadowweavers (detrans female) explains why she recommends therapy and time over immediate medical transition for puberty-related body discomfort.
5 pointsOct 5, 2021
View on Reddit

I definitely suggest talking to a therapist. Not one who gives you hormones on the 2nd appointment and calls it a day, one that actually talks to you about what you’re feeling. I feel therapists who do that instead of talking to you about it are lazy.

I also think you should give it time. I felt pretty similar to what you’re describing at your age and it turns out I’m not trans. I think one of my issues is that no one told me it’s normal for a girl to feel uncomfortable with her body during puberty. There are big changes happening, of course it freaks us out.