This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced, and consistent lived experience with detransition, body dysmorphia, and therapy.
- Complex, empathetic advice that acknowledges the difficulty of self-acceptance and the nuances of gender dysphoria vs. body dysmorphia.
- A clear, evolving perspective that is passionate and critical of medical transition, which is common and authentic within the detrans community.
The writing style is human, varied, and context-specific, showing genuine engagement with different OPs' problems.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, as I hated the changes happening to my body. I later transitioned socially and took testosterone, thinking it was the only way to escape my deep self-hatred and anxiety. I've since learned that my feelings were often misplaced anger and sadness, not true gender dysphoria. Through therapy and introspection, I've come to accept my female body and found self-love internally. I now live simply as a woman, though I regret the permanent changes from my time on hormones.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it started when I was very young. I was born female, and from a young age, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I went through puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt wrong and foreign to me. At the time, I didn't have the words for it, but I now understand that as body dysmorphia. My feelings were intensely focused on my physical self, not so much on social roles, which I’ve always thought were kind of silly.
I started my social transition by presenting as non-binary when I began university. It was really hard to maintain that in the real world. People constantly pushed me to pick a side, to be seen as either male or female. This social pressure was a lot to handle. Looking back, I see that a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of deep self-hatred and a desire to escape from myself, not from a positive place of wanting to become my true self. I was also struggling with depression, anxiety, and a very low self-esteem, and I now believe I was using the idea of transition as a form of escapism from those feelings.
I was influenced a lot by online communities and had a friend who was transitioning. We had almost identical experiences with dysphoria, and he transitioned and is happy. I thought that because our feelings were the same, I must be trans too. But I’ve learned you can’t compare yourself to others like that. Even if you show all the classic signs, it doesn’t mean transitioning is the right path for you.
I also have autism, and I think this played a huge role in how I experienced my body and my identity. It made social situations difficult and contributed to me spending a lot of time alone, which made my negative thoughts and dysphoric feelings much worse. My mind would just spiral.
I did take testosterone for a period of time. At first, it made my mood better, but that’s because it’s a strong steroid hormone; it boosts your mood regardless. That effect wears off after a few months. I realized that the dysphoria I felt wasn't constant. It would come and go, which made me question if it was really about my gender. Through a lot of introspection, I learned to sit with those intense feelings instead of acting on them. I discovered that the horrible feeling I called dysphoria was often actually anger, anxiety, or sadness that my mind was misplacing onto my body.
I never got top surgery, but I considered it very seriously. I did a lot of research and even spoke with medical professionals. I learned that these surgeries are incredibly intense, with long, painful recovery times and serious risks of complications. I am grateful now that I never went through with it.
I’ve come to understand that my initial discomfort wasn’t truly gender dysphoria, but a combination of body dysmorphia, trauma, and other mental health issues. I’ve benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy, specifically techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy. I practiced allowing myself to feel my feelings without judgment, daily journaling, and positive affirmations. These tools helped me rewire my brain and learn to accept myself. I had to learn that self-love isn’t something you can achieve by changing your body; it’s a long internal process.
I do have some regrets about my transition. I regret the time and energy I spent running away from myself instead of dealing with my underlying problems. I regret the permanent changes from testosterone that I now have to live with. I don’t regret the journey itself because it led me to a place of much greater self-understanding, but I deeply regret the permanent physical alterations.
My views on gender now are much simpler. I believe being a woman doesn’t mean anything beyond having a female body. The social stuff is just toxic pressure from society. I’ve learned to accept that my body is female, and that’s okay. I am a woman, and that is enough.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and hated my breasts during puberty. |
| 18 | Began university and started presenting socially as non-binary. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransition. |
| 20 | Began practicing CBT techniques, journaling, and affirmations to address underlying trauma and self-hatred. |
| 21 | Came to a place of self-acceptance as a female and understood my journey was rooted in dysmorphia, not dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/Shakedog966767:
Being a woman doesn't mean anything. It's something toxic from society. Your body is female. That's it. That's all it takes to be a woman. If you didn't have a strong interest in using makeup and fashion as art/self-expression from the beginning, I think you don't need to start with that. Using makeup and clothing only for the purpose of being seen as a woman will cost you a lot of energy that you'll realize and regret later
If you detransitioned once, it can happen again. Give it some time. You're very young and still have a lot of time. In the next years your personality, self-imagine, beliefs and views on society will change a lot. It's possible that in a few years you won't feel the need to transition anymore. Or you might get a completely different view on gender. The best advice I can give you is to give yourself some time and really educate yourself to grow a bit as a person first to see where you're going before making any permanent changes that you might regret. The fact you detransitioned once, is a big sign you might regret transitioning. So give it some time, you're still very young.
I don't have the experience of undergoing this surgery myself but as a med student the first thing to say is that these surgeries are really intense. You should watch some videos of surgeons performing the surgery. If you watch this surgery you will also understand that the healing process might take a very long time and that it's possible to get a lot of pain from it a long time after the surgery. Also all kinds of complications are possible. So looking into the procedure might give you a good idea of what to expect in terms of healing and pain.
I also heard from people that a long time after the scars are healed it will still be painful to make specific movements and you won't be able to do everything as before. Is it possible to get a breast reduction instead? It could possibly make you a lot happier in the long run since you identify as a woman.
Apart from that, I think the least to worry about it looks from people or being misgendered as male etc. It's really about the healing process since this surgery is a lot more intense than you might think.
Usually I wouldn't be able to put a label based on one single post, but in your situation it's very clear. You are not trans. All the social aspects of being trans is just something extra. In reality it's all about your body, and you say your body doesn't even feel feminine enough to you. It's a clear signs you're not trans.
You have autism, and this explains why you feel like this. If you're scared to be bullied because you detransition you should maybe talk about it confidentially with someone, but being scarred to be bullied should never push you to be someone you're not. The detransition movement is growing and it's time people start understanding it deserves respect too.
Desister is someone who thought they were trans, transitioned socially etc. Someone who basically did everything except having a medical transition (hormones and surgery). Someone who also had hormones and/or surgery and then found out they're not trans is a detransitioner.
For me it was definitely body dysphoria. I lived very protected from society because of my parents and at that age as a young teenager I didn't even know what gender was. I just knew something was wrong with me related to my feelings about being a girl/a boy and the way I felt about my body. I've never had that much social dysphoria (to me all gender roles in society suck), it was mostly about me and my body. Very strongly.
You're only 16 years old which is very young. Give yourself a few years time before taking any actions to medically transition. You should make sure right now that you get the help you need for your eating disorder and your identity issues. Testosteron is going to cause permanent changes in your body which might in the course of time cause even more problems with your identity if you rush it.
Try cognitive behavioral therapy. There are many things you can do by yourself without a therapist to help your brain "rewire" and accept things that now seem unacceptable now. I've been practicing the things below by myself to deal with severe trauma I've been trough, and in only 3 weeks I already notice changes. I am doing this by myself without a therapist, but these are all scientifically proven methods to help you deal with trauma.
Allow yourself to feel all your feelings. When something triggers you, allow yourself to feel the physical feeling in your body. Try to remove the thought from your head and just focus on the physical sensation of the feeling. You do this every time you get triggered. In the beginning it will be very difficult, but don't give up. Keep trying. After 2-3 weeks you'll see it'll start becoming easier. And in a few months you'll notice that those triggers will 'magically' not trigger you anymore.
Keep a journal and write in it every day! Journaling in itselves is a very effective and proven method to help with PTSD and trauma. You can write anything down, good things and bad things, your feelings, your triggers, journaling excercises/questions that you find online ... just make sure that you do it every day because it's the consistency that will help your brain to get over the trauma.
Positive affirmations! Might seem stupid but it really works. It also helps when you write them down every day a few times (remember, consistency will help your brain to get over this trauma very fast- it will take maybe 2 weeks to already see some significant improvement in your emotions). Some examples of positive affirmations you can use: I love myself, I appreciate my body, I am safe, I believe in myself, I allow myself to enjoy life, I love my life, I forgive myself, I allow myself to let go, I enjoy my life, I am strong, I am powerful, I am amazing, etc. Even if you don't believe in it, please try. Take a piece a paper and wrote down those affirmations. No matter how wrong it feels, just do it every day this week. And in one week you'll start to notice that somehow you'll start to believe those things a little bit.
Good luck!
Because you have the same experiences as someone else who is trans doesn't make you trans as well. I had exactly the same experiences as a friend who is trans and we experienced the same kind of dysphoria. In the end he transitioned and is happy with it for 7 years already. But I realised that even though our experiences were the same, for me it was caused by something else.
You can't compare yourself to others. Even if you're a textbook trans person and show "all the signs", you still might end up regretting a transition or might not be trans at all. Everyone is very unique in their experiences even if those experiences look exactly the same.
If you tell most trans people they might make a mistake or tell them about the risks, they don't want to listen to you or will quickly forget about it. They might even say you're being transphobic really quickly. So no, in those situation it's really their own fault if they make a mistake. Even if doctors tell them they might make a mistake they just choose another doctor or even report the doctor.
I know someone who has a lot of sexual trauma. And this person is, in my eyes, very clearly making a mistake by transitioning. But he doesn't even want to talk to a psychologist about this trauma in fear of not being taken seriously. So of course there is no hope for people like that. Of course there are also people who weren't informed well, but I feel as an adult making a decision about your own body you're responsible for it yourself in the end. And you're responsible for making your own research. For any big decision as an adult (healthcare, investing money, buying a car, ... you're supposed to make a well informed decision yourself). We can also get all kinds of body modifications and plastic surgeries if we want to, and if one doctor doesn't agree we can find another one.
I think it's not impossible someone might try to start research on psychiatric medication to treat physical gender dysphoria soon if it's not already happening yet. I think also a lot of people who are truly transgender will choose to make their dysphoria disappear with a simple pill instead of years of HRT and surgery with a lot of risks involved. GNC and being transgender is also very different in my eyes, GNC is about the social aspects which depends on our society. You can still be very GNC without having to deal with physical gender dysphoria.