This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Consistent, nuanced perspective over four years, focusing on detransition themes.
- Personal insight that aligns with a desister/detransitioner's viewpoint, including discussions of personal medical details (e.g., birth control).
- Emotional authenticity, expressing passion and frustration in a way that fits the lived experience of the community.
The user's arguments are complex and show a developed, consistent worldview, which is difficult to fake over such a long period.
About me
I started by identifying as non-binary because I was deeply unhappy and thought escaping womanhood would fix my internal pain. I almost pursued surgery but decided to wait, realizing a permanent change couldn't be undone. I came to see that my discomfort wasn't with my female body, but with the pressures and stereotypes placed on women. Now, I fully accept myself as a woman who is just gender non-conforming. My journey taught me that my worth isn't tied to my presentation, and I can live authentically in the body I was born with.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep unhappiness and a feeling that I didn't fit in. I never felt like I loved myself, and I think a lot of my initial interest in transitioning came from a belief that changing my body would fix that internal pain. I saw so many people online, especially other females, talking about how transitioning was the answer to escaping the discomfort of womanhood and the pressures that come with it, like misogyny and sexual expectations. For a long time, I believed that if I could just be seen as a man, all my problems would disappear.
I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like a stepping stone, a way to distance myself from being a woman without fully committing to being a man. But looking back, I see how that thinking is backwards. It reinforced the idea that if you don't act or dress in a stereotypically feminine way, you can't possibly be a woman. We used to call that being gender non-conforming, and it was a way to show that females can be all sorts of ways. Now, it feels like we’ve gone back to the 1950s, where your interests and clothes dictate your gender.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I came very close to pursuing top surgery because I hated my breasts and felt they were a huge obstacle to being seen how I wanted. But I had doubts. A part of me always wondered if I could ever be happy just being a woman. I read a piece of advice that stuck with me: when you feel uncertain, don’t choose the path with no return. I realised there was no harm in waiting. Since I was already past puberty, waiting wouldn't make it harder to pass if I eventually decided to transition. But rushing into something permanent could take away options forever.
I spent a lot of time in online communities, and I saw patterns. I noticed that for many females, the desire to transition seemed tied to trauma, or to a deep discomfort with the sexualisation and harassment that comes with being a woman. It looked like an escape. I also started to question the whole idea of "passing." I saw people, including myself, obsessing over how to walk, talk, and dress to be seen as the opposite sex. We’d ask, "Would a cis man wear this?" and feel ashamed of our natural interests. I realised that wasn't authenticity; it was putting on a constant act. If you were truly a man inside, wouldn't you just naturally know how to be one without all the performance?
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I don't believe in internal gender identity anymore. I think we are our bodies. A woman is an adult human female, just like a sow is a female pig. There's no femininity or masculinity attached to the word; it's just a biological category. Clothes, hair, jobs, and personalities are all unisex. Removing healthy body parts to fit a social stereotype seems unnatural to me now, and I'm suspicious of any surgery that removes parts we might not fully understand the purpose of.
I don't regret my social transition because it led me to where I am now. It was a necessary process of questioning that helped me finally accept my body. I benefited from hearing the stories of detransitioned women who found partners who loved and accepted them completely. It made me realise that my worth isn't tied to my body or my gender presentation. I am worthy of love even if I don't love myself all the time.
I don't have serious health complications from transition because I didn't medically transition. I take the progesterone-only mini-pill to stop my periods, which works well for me with no side effects. My main takeaway from this entire experience is that the problem was never my body or my sex. There were deep reasons for my discomfort, and they weren't my fault. Figuring that out has been a long, hard road, but it was worth it. I exist, and that means I deserve a life, even if I'm not always happy. Happiness isn't the only point of life.
| Age | Date (if known) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| Early 20s | ~2019 | Began identifying as non-binary as a stepping stone away from womanhood. |
| 23 | 2020 | Was deeply involved in online trans communities, considering medical transition but harbouring serious doubts. |
| 24 | 2021 | Decided against medical intervention, choosing to wait due to uncertainty and the permanence of procedures. |
| 27 | 2024 | Accepted myself as a gender non-conforming female. No longer believe in gender identity. |
Top Comments by /u/ShiplessOcean:
Interesting thoughts. Yes, I have noticed it.
With the regards to the unique subculture, I have also noticed that they seem almost offended if people don’t realise they’re trans. when I encounter these types of people IRL, they make sure to force into conversation the fact they’re trans in the first few sentences of meeting. There is a type of trans person whose aim is to appear cis and just blend in with the gender they identify as. But these types seem to want to be recognised as trans, and do/say things that are not typical for cis people their age, name themselves classic trans names (the stereotypical Bug/Kai/Eli etc).
With regards to the Peter Pan thing, I have noticed a similar phenomenon in trans women where they dress in a way that wouldn’t be appropriate for a cis woman of their age. So, the knee high socks, schoolgirl skirts, choker necklaces, pigtails. But I don’t think this is motivated by the same reasons as the transboys mentioned above.
He openly talks about the fact that since his male reproductive organs have been removed, he’s left medically compromised now with no natural hormone production, so he cannot come off synthetic hormones. He’s said that he prefers to take testosterone for the energy boost but it’s frustrating having an escalated sex drive because he can’t relieve it.
He also talks about the fact that makeup and clothes are unisex and the importance of normalising gender non conforming men, so your comment about “presenting female” is harmful and perpetuates people transitioning just to wear certain clothes, when they shouldn’t.
GNC and Nonbinary are total opposites in action. GNC accept their sex and fight to show that fe/males of all types, styles, personalities, behaviours, jobs exist and it doesn’t change their gender. Nonbinary people believe if you differ from the stereotypical personality, fashion, interests, jobs for your birth sex then you can’t possibly be that gender, and distance themselves by differentiating themselves from everyone else with their same birth sex.
So of course OP would be angry that just because maybe they don’t look, dress or sound stereotypically for a woman it’s assumed they must be Nonbinary. It’s so backwards, we have gone back to the 1950’s.
I just looked up ibuprofen as an example. It can lead to stomach ulcers and holes in the intestine. If that happened to me and I made a video to spread awareness of the potential, would everyone say “we all sign up for this when we take ibuprofen, it’s written in the leaflet, you knew the risks”.
Yeah, and their whole world is about making society go along with the fact that men can have boobs and vaginas, and women can have beards and penises and still be women. And yet, they insist that these things are such catastrophic obstacles to their gender that they need them medically removed, and it’s a hate crime to deny them that. E.g. they will say “men don’t have boobs so it’s giving me dysphoria to have boobs and im gonna commit suicide if I can’t have them removed”. Saying men can’t have boobs sounds pretty transphobic by their logic.
Without taking bottom surgery into account for either case, from what I can tell it seems easier to detransition back to a man than detrans back to a woman. There are more traumatic permanent physical changes for ftmtf like the voice change and facial hair that they will have to deal with forever. This could be why their experience garners more sympathy
One more thing to add on top of what others have said: since you’ve already been through puberty, and also because you’re AFAB, there’s absolutely no harm in waiting, it won’t make you be able to pass less or something. I read a quote that said something like, when you feel uncertain, don’t choose the path with no return. You said a part of you wishes you could be happy being a woman. You asked how long to wait - i think wait until all those little doubts are gone, in one direction or the other.
He’s either lying or mislead, it’s very childish of him and I doubt he ever made a woman climax in his life. If a woman’s clit was that sensitive it would be uncomfortable (ironically, this uncomfortable type of hypersensitivity is a different side effect that can happen from taking testosterone)
It seems to me that like 20 years ago there were “crossdressers” who seemed to get off on occasionally dressing up as women, and everyone knew they existed. And now for some reason, society wants to make them believe that this means deep down they’re women trapped in a man’s body, and that they should transition full time. I think the category of “crossdresser” has got confused and lumped in with transwomen.
It seems to me that most trans people focus so much on passing (including many of us here when we were trans), obsessing over how to walk/talk/sit/laugh to pass as the desired gender, “would a cis male wear this?” Feeling ashamed to listen to certain music or have certain interests in case it undermines our identity and outs us as our birth sex. I see loads of posts on Reddit asking for suggestions or reassurance on how to pass better. How is any of that authentic? It’s putting on a constant act. Surely if you are truly the opposite sex inside, you naturally know how to do everything like the opposite sex.