This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Shiro_L" exhibits no serious red flags and appears to be authentic.
The user's comments are highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over a long period. They describe a personal, multi-year journey of transition, detransition, and self-reflection with specific, believable details about their health, social experiences, and evolving ideological views. The language is natural, and the user engages in complex debates, admits uncertainty, and shows a capacity for changing their mind—all behaviors atypical of a bot or a bad-faith actor. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of a genuine detransitioner.
About me
I felt different from other boys from a very young age, and my feminine appearance led to trauma that made me feel alienated from being male. I thought transitioning was the answer to my lifelong discomfort, and I lived as a woman for five years. But I became disillusioned by the performative support and realized I could never actually be female, only a medical approximation. My health suffered on hormones, and stopping them forced me to confront that my transition was a coping mechanism for deeper issues. Now, I've found peace by accepting myself as a feminine man, and my dysphoria is completely gone.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young, maybe around six or seven years old. I remember wanting to be a girl even then. I felt different from other boys. Growing up, I was a feminine kid and that caused me a lot of problems. I looked feminine enough during puberty that I got catcalled when I was 13 and was sexually assaulted more than once because I had some breast growth and boys my age noticed. I ended up feeling completely alienated from both genders.
I think a lot of this came from internalized misandry. Society made me feel ashamed of being male. Men are often seen as the oppressor class, and I had terrible male role models, like my dad who treated women like objects. I even went to a daycare run by women who treated me like a disgusting little creature just for being a boy, while the girls were treated like angels. Girls also seemed superior to me because they were more mature. All of this made me resent being male. I also felt like I couldn't relate to men and found women more relatable. The pressure to be masculine felt suffocating.
When I learned about being transgender, it felt like an answer. I had struggled with these feelings since childhood, so I took it as proof that I was "born this way." I thought I was a woman trapped in a male body. I started identifying as non-binary at first, but eventually moved to identifying as a trans woman. I started hormones around age 28 and was on them for about five years.
At first, transition seemed like it might be the solution. But over time, I became really disillusioned. The support from progressive spaces felt completely performative. People would use the right pronouns, but it was obvious they were just humoring me. They didn't really see me as a woman; they saw me as a trans woman, which is different. It felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around me and lying to my face, and that was incredibly isolating. I started to realize that even if I could "pass," I would never actually be a female. I would always be different from a cis woman.
My health also started to suffer on HRT. It made me lethargic and caused issues with my jaw and joints. My doctor even hinted that being on antiandrogens long-term wasn't good and that I'd eventually need surgery. I decided to stop HRT to see how I felt, and after about two months, all those health problems magically went away. That was a huge wake-up call. It made me realize that having a healthy body was more important than how it looked.
Stopping hormones forced me to really think about why I transitioned in the first place. I started to question the whole idea that people are "born trans." I realized that for me, being trans wasn't an innate truth; it was a coping mechanism for deeper issues like internalized misandry and trauma. I had convinced myself I was born in the wrong body, and that belief itself caused me dysphoria. I also saw transition as an escape, a way to avoid the hard work of dealing with my problems. It seemed easier to take a pill than to fix my self-esteem and learn to challenge sexist ideas.
A major turning point was accepting that I could be a feminine man. I don't have to adhere to toxic masculine stereotypes. I can wear what I want and act how I want while still acknowledging that my body is male. I’ve come to see that my sex is just a fact about my body, like being tall or having a certain hair color. It doesn't have to define my personality or limit my self-expression. Since detransitioning, my dysphoria has completely gone away. I don't regret transitioning because I needed to go through it to learn it was wrong, but I deeply resent the trans ideology that misled me. I wish I had been encouraged to explore gender nonconformity instead of medicalizing my discomfort.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 6-7 | First remember wanting to be a girl. |
| 13 | Experienced catcalling and sexual assault during puberty due to feminine appearance. Felt alienated from both genders. |
| 28 | Started taking estrogen hormones after identifying as a trans woman. |
| 33 | Stopped hormone therapy after 5 years due to health issues and growing disillusionment. |
| 33 | Began social detransition, re-identifying as a male and embracing gender nonconformity. |
Top Comments by /u/Shiro_L:
I know exactly which sub you mean and yes, it's beyond frustrating how much it's dominated by trans people. If enough detrans people truly want a more trans-friendly than this one, then okay, but there needs to be safeguards in place to ensure trans people aren't talking over detransitioners. At the very least, the sub should be run by detransitioners and there should be rules in place to penalize that type of behavior.
In my opinion though, a detrans space should never be a "safe space" for trans people. By its very nature, detransition requires accepting certain truths that some trans people are not going to like and this means it cannot be a safe space for trans people while also remaining a safe space for detrans people. The mods have to choose who the space is primarily for and unfortunately, they decided it's for trans people.
Yes, this sounds like AGP to me. It’s impossible to become female, so I’d keep in mind your thoughts can never become anything more than fantasy. I’d recommend trying to stop fantasizing about being female anyway and try to focus on more realistic stuff.
While I'm coming at this from the other side, this is why I'm electing to forgo top surgery in all honesty. I feel like I already made a mistake with HRT, so I don't want to make another mistake by having my breasts surgically removed. I would prefer not to be a man with breasts, but the alternative seems to be having healthy tissue removed, so... 🤷♀️
While it sucks that we harmed our bodies, I do think there's so much more to us than what our bodies look like. So I hope you're able to feel content again some day, even in spite of this mistake.
It’s not about indecisiveness, age of transition, or even amount of time transitioned. Speaking personally, I’m just a guy who reflected on my life and figured out what really motivated my transition… so detransition became the only path that made sense.
There are a lot of things I figured out, so I’ll just list a few:
- Trans identity is an ideology. I know trans people think that sounds transphobic, but when I really think about it, the reason they’re so reactionary towards detransitioners is because accepting us would mean accepting that being trans may not be a thing people are born with.
- Society is what gave me gender dysphoria. Society tries to stereotype us based on our gender and shove us into gendered boxes, so how could those of us who seem to fit better into a different box not develop some distress about our sex?
- I can never be female. If I want a fully functioning and healthy body, I have to let testosterone do its thing.
- Even if people try their hardest to gender me correctly, they don’t actually see me as female. They’ve just learned to base pronouns off of identity, therefore pronouns have become meaningless.
- Living my life trying to convince people I’m female when I’m not isn’t fulfilling. Neither is being openly trans, because then people play the pronoun game.
I agree with you.
I do think it's okay if someone wants to modify their body, but the problem is that it's not being framed that way. When it's not being framed as a necessary treatment for gender dysphoria, it's being framed as a way to "become your true self." Both of these ideas are incredibly harmful and need to be fought against.
That's honestly why I heavily prefer this sub, even though I have no issue with people who are happy with their transition. The other sub just requires too much self-censorship when talking about my own experiences, so it clearly wasn't made for people like me... which is pretty damn funny when the sub advertises itself as a detrans sub.
I really want to urge you to listen to your doubts and not get this surgery. If you become absolutely certain beyond any doubt that you want it later, then it’ll still be an option, but it’s too late to change your mind once the surgery is done. And unfortunately, I think a lot more people end up changing their mind than those pushing trans ideology want you to believe.
I’m not sure why you want SRS, but I’d encourage asking yourself why you do. And don’t say “because I’ve got dysphoria” - ask yourself why you’ve got dysphoria and why that means you should get SRS.
If you do want to continue identifying as trans woman, then being a trans one is something you’ll have to come to terms with. Maybe you’ll pass and maybe SRS will even make it so no-one can differentiate you from a cis woman, but even with all of that, your history will remain a trans one and that isn’t something you’ll can erase. Hiding your history sounds like a great way to become socially isolated, because in hiding your history you’ll have to hide an important part of who you are.
I hate seeing de-transitioners blame “trans ideology” for their mistakes rather than the very strict gender norms that western society rewards us for conforming to and also punishes us for defying.
I think both of these things are at fault. Society is to blame for pushing strict gender norms on people and trans ideology is also to blame for selling transition as a way to escape that.
No, I don't think there's such a thing. And I say this as someone who struggled with gender dysphoria since I was maybe 6 and ended up transitioning at 27. I was still wrong.
Some people do end up happier after transitioning, but it's not because they have an "innate sex" or because their transness is some inner biological truth. While I think transition is overall a maladaptive coping strategy, it is still a coping strategy that can help a little bit... even if it doesn't fix the root of a problem. After all, our society does treat men differently from women, so a person is likely to experience different treatment if nothing else.
Some trans people really want to push the idea that "real" transness is a thing, but it's ultimately just a way to convince themselves and one another that transition is the right path.
I’m so sorry that happened. Regardless of how other people feel about detransition, it’s absolutely not okay for them to brigade a thread you wrote in suicide watch of all places. Like seriously, they should feel ashamed of themselves.
Can I ask how old you are now and when you started detransitioning? I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, but I absolutely believe things can get better. I know it’s hard right now, but please hang in there!