I'm not female, but I also have moderate-to-severe pectus excavatum! I feel you on this. My chest deformity was also mostly swept under the rug, and while I usually did very well in some sports I always wondered why I fell behind my peers in terms of exercise. It was only when I got made made fun of for it constantly in men's locker rooms that I even knew it was something to check out, and I only got it diagnosed when I went for an X-ray scan because I suspected a different condition (which I did not end up having).

And now that you mention the eating part... I've always been quite a slow eater, and I get a feeling that my condition might be part of it. So I'm really glad you said that!

It did play a role in my trans identification because I think the real reason was because I never felt adequate as a man, partially due to my funnel chest. When I came out/started identifying as trans to my brothers and people at my school and workplace, I got absolutely no pushback, even though nobody ever referred to me as anything other than male. I never took E but I always dreamed about breasts possibly making the pectus less ugly... but it wouldn't change my symptoms.

Surgery is not something I have the time and resources for at this point in my life but I'd definitely consider it sometime in the future when I can. In the meantime, I've just been trying to cope with the fact that I'm male, regardless of the shape of my chest or my body.

Interesting answer; thanks for sharing. I can relate in a lot of ways, especially regarding the ugliness of my male body. It's weird, since I'm also only attracted to men, and I'm not the only male attracted to men who feels this way.

It's also interesting, if harrowing still, to think about the exceptions to this. I find that a fair proportion of detrans men have shared social reasons that being female would appeal to them, oftentimes as it relates to gender roles. At the same time - with a very big caveat that I can't really speak for women - I've seen a lot of detrans/desisted women loathe estrogen or physical aspects of femaleness that they find ugly, especially in regards to things like menstruation.

Thanks for sharing - this definitely makes sense. In fact, I think the same misogyny is what influences a lot of men to transition as well; I, on my end, relate to having to live up to male stereotypes and expectations, which both drive and are driven by misogyny.

Thank you for sharing, but I fail to see exactly how this is relevant; I wasn’t really asking for a commentary on male masculinity or about Muslims. I was asking more about detrans people in general, and what sorts of things you think might be driving the genders to be over- or under-represented in (de)trans communities. Perhaps men aren’t experiencing dysphoria at the same rate as women in the first place, or perhaps men just aren’t detransitioning at the same rate after they transition. 

I also have to respectfully disagree that men are naturally “masculine” according to conventional standards - I, at least, have observed that that emphasis on gender roles seems to push a lot of men (and women) to transition, though this of course doesn’t necessarily make them not men. Neurodivergent males, as well as those with disabilities or medical/hormonal conditions, suffer disproportionately from this in particular, and a lot of us have complex relationships to masculinity and maleness in general. That said, I’m not here to be confrontational or start an argument, just to politely express my perspective on the matter.

I understand what you’re saying, and I’m certain that plays a role in a lot of cases. I’m not trying to be contrarian by saying this, and please forgive me if I’ve just totally misread what you wrote, but it feels a little strange to base that idea off of what is ultimately a gender stereotype. It’s often those of us who don’t have that pride or stubbornness who are pressured, influenced, or otherwise feeling like they need to transition in the first place, because we’re seen as too feminine. Does that make any sense?

In the absence of other folks posting them, I've done a cursory search for these statistics because I remember something like that being cited. The Tavistock gender clinic in the UK had a sharp rise in female-born patients on their waiting list year over year, and really started to skew female around 2016, according to GIDS; by 2017 the rate was about 69% female, and in 2018 and 2019 that had risen to over 75%.

Thanks for answering - to be clear, is this meant to imply that (de)trans men want to be women at a higher rate than (de)trans women want to be men? As in, men's reasons for transitioning tend to relate more to desiring femaleness than avoiding maleness? Just curious. Based on what I've seen in this subreddit, I'm inclined to agree.

I’m desisted, so mods – feel free to delete this comment if it shouldn’t be here, but my answer is overall no, but also in a few ways yes.

I’m still experiencing a lot of dysphoria, and to be honest, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happier in my skin while I was not identifying as male. I desisted because it eventually became obvious I couldn’t pass as female or even androgynous (I was identifying as non-binary before my desistance, something of a compromise since I felt I couldn’t live up to either gender). It wasn’t enough for me to treat myself as non-male – my autistic brain requires other people to recognize me as well before I can feel happy, and I couldn’t convince anybody to treat me how I wanted to be treated. I felt less safe as a person after I desisted, and it’s still really distressing to look at my body and my genitalia knowing that it’s male. I can’t really reconcile my biological reality with how I feel about myself, yet.

However, a few good things have come out of it, which I’m hoping will increase with time and effort. I’ve been starting to realize some of the roots of my dysphoria, and trying to alleviate them to see if these feelings really will pass. It’s been about five years since I desisted - it wasn’t really a big deal when it happened, and I didn’t get any pushback from the people around me. I’ve recognized that as bad as I feel now, transition won’t be the best for me, and could set me down an even worse path, so I’ve gotten a few better coping skills.

I’m not sure what you mean when you say testosterone is harder to undo. Do you mean it’s harder for MtF trans women to undo the effects of their natural testosterone on their bodies, or that it’s harder for FtM trans men to undo the effects of HRT testosterone?

I totally relate to this. I’ve seen both detrans women and men express this, so I don’t think I’m out of line here when I say that men aren’t as free to break roles and stereotypes as women.

To be completely fair, however, I have a feeling you may be idealizing a little. While there are benefits to being seen as a woman compared to being a man, I’ve seen so, so many accounts from both detrans and non-detrans cis women about being constantly sexualized, harassed, objectified, and overlooked. It’s ubiquitous and pervasive. At the same time, I hear many detrans women talk about how freeing it was for them to be seen as male - being more free to express their masculinity, or having security and respect from others. I absolutely relate to despising being male and being seen as male in the world, but that doesn’t mean being seen as female is all positives.

It’s amazing - and very long overdue - that women are finally beginning to be recognized and supported. There’s absolutely nothing negative about that whatsoever. But some leeway being granted to gender non-conforming and neurodivergent men by… well, other men as a group… would really go a long way.