This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally charged, and internally consistent, detailing a personal journey of medical transition (SRS), the social pressures on feminine men, and the complex, often negative, experiences within both the gay and trans communities. The mention of using a translator adds a layer of believable personal detail rather than being a red flag. The passion and specific grievances align with the expected perspective of a desister/detransitioner.
About me
I transitioned because I couldn't bear the pain of being a feminine man in a world that seemed to punish men like me. I thought becoming a woman would be an escape, and for a while, being seen as one felt like a relief. I had surgery and became a lifelong patient, which is a difficult reality to face. Now I see my journey was less about finding my true self and more about trying to escape a painful situation. I have some regrets, and I don't really know what gender is anymore.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I just couldn't stand being an effeminate man. From my comments, I saw men, especially feminine ones with feelings, as being treated badly. It felt like being a man wasn't a privilege at all for someone like me; it was the opposite. I felt like it was frowned upon for a man to be feminine and that people would just laugh if a man showed he was afraid.
A big part of this was my experience as a gay man. I felt really traumatized by the fact that gay men seemed to only be attracted to masculine men. In my eyes, it was only a minority or very old men who liked girly boys. I didn't feel like I fit in or was desired, and that hurt a lot.
I thought transitioning would be an escape from all that pain. I started hormones early and I was able to pass as a non-trans woman. I found that when people saw me as a woman, I was treated much better than when I was seen as an effeminate man. When I didn't pass perfectly, it felt just as bad as being an effeminate boy and being tormented for it.
I ended up getting bottom surgery (SRS). After having it done, I realized I had become a chronic patient for life, which is a really difficult reality to face. There's also a lot of pressure put on trans girls, just like there is on effeminate men.
Lately, I've been thinking that a lot of the speeches and debates happening against trans people online might have influenced me to feel this doubt and confusion about my own path. I also have a lot of empathy for others now. I really hope that the experiences of detrans women, who have to deal with things like a permanently changed voice, can help create laws that protect both trans women and detrans women, because both groups suffer a lot.
Looking back, I think my transition was heavily influenced by not wanting to be a feminine man in a world that seemed to punish that. I don't know if I have a clear thought on what gender really is anymore. I do have some regrets, mainly about the lifelong medicalization that came with surgery and the pressure I felt. My journey was less about discovering a true self and more about trying to escape a painful situation.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I've shared:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started taking hormones early. |
| ? | Had bottom surgery (SRS), becoming a lifelong patient. |
| Present | Reflecting on my journey and the external pressures that influenced me. |
Top Comments by /u/Sileta1:
Yes.
That men are seen as "bad"
That it is frowned upon for a man to be feminine and with feelings.
Let no one defend fragile men.
Let them laugh if a man is afraid.
I follow?
Being a man is not a privilege for many of us, rather the opposite.
I am very sorry for everything that has happened to you and I send you a lot of encouragement.
I would also like that these experiences of FTMTF women who have a problem with their voice, etc. also serve to make laws that protect trans women and FTMTF women because they suffer a lot.
You're right.
Finally more men who are feminine speak of the cruel reality we live.
Add that in my experience when I have passed as a NON-trans woman (I have quite a pass because I started hormones early) I have been much better than as an "effeminate" man. If I haven't "passed" as a CIS woman, I'd be tormented because it's like being an "effeminate" boy.
Because if you do the "SRS" (I have it done) you become a chronic patient for life.
Also because when you are a trans girl there is a lot of pressure on us (just like with "effeminate" men).
But... these days I have thought that all the speeches against "trans people" may have influenced me to feel this way.
sorry, I use a translator and I may not express myself well :(
I meant that gay men tend to be attracted to masculine men, except very old gay men who tend to look young or effeminate. In fact, this traumatized me quite a bit.
I do not agree that gays like girly boys, they are a minority or very old men.