This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over time. They describe a personal medical complication from HRT, ongoing therapy, and a nuanced, conflicted internal dialogue that is characteristic of a genuine desister/detransitioner experience. Their passion and criticism align with the expected viewpoints of someone who feels harmed by their experience with transition.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a girl, and being bullied for being a tomboy made me believe my body was wrong. I thought transitioning to male was the only answer, but it turned out to be a way to escape internalized homophobia. After starting testosterone, I suffered serious health problems, including incontinence, and had to have a hysterectomy that left me infertile. Now, I'm off testosterone and working with a therapist who helps me question everything, which has been more helpful than just being affirmed. I'm learning to accept myself as a female without labels, but I deeply regret the permanent damage caused by a medical system that rushed me into treatment.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in as a girl. I was always a tomboy and got bullied a lot for it, which made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I started to believe that my discomfort with being female and my hatred of my breasts, especially during puberty, meant I was supposed to be a man. I think a lot of this was actually severe internalized homophobia; I couldn't see myself as a butch lesbian and be okay with it, so transitioning felt like the only escape.
I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder by three different psychiatrists using the old DSM-4 criteria. At the time, I believed that gender dysphoria was a real mental condition and that transitioning was the only treatment. I started taking testosterone. It wasn't long before I started having serious health complications from it. I developed what might be incontinence, and it's been a real struggle. The informed consent process didn't prepare me for how severe the side effects could be. I had to have a full hysterectomy, and now I'm going off testosterone and will have to start taking estrogen because the localized estrogen isn't helping my bladder symptoms. I know now that this has made me infertile, which is a hard reality to face.
Looking back, I feel like the medical system failed me. Doctors are too quick to affirm and they don't take the time to address other mental health issues a person might have. The criteria for a diagnosis have become way too relaxed. I think a lot of people, especially young women, are looking for an escape from other problems like depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, and they get convinced online or by friends that transitioning is the answer. I've seen it become like a social contagion, especially on places like TikTok, where people even tell each other what to say to get a diagnosis.
I'm at a real crossroads now, trying to figure out if what I experienced was true gender dysphoria or if it was internalized misogyny mixed with a kind of body dysmorphia. I'm working with a psychoanalyst who is actually willing to push back and help me figure this out, rather than just affirm everything I say. That kind of non-affirming therapy has been more beneficial than anything else. I'm trying to just focus on the fact that I am female and not label how I act or present myself. My goal is to just be me, without putting myself in a box.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it brought me to this point of questioning and understanding myself better, but I deeply regret the permanent changes to my body and the health problems I now have to live with. I believe that for a very small number of people with true, clinical gender dysphoria, medical transition might be necessary. But for the majority of people we see today, it's not. They need therapy, not hormones and surgery. The whole thing has gotten out of control and it's hurting a lot of vulnerable people.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Teen Years) | Experienced significant puberty discomfort and hated developing breasts. Was bullied for being a tomboy. |
| (Young Adult) | Received three separate GID diagnoses from psychiatrists (per DSM-4 criteria). |
| (Young Adult) | Started testosterone HRT. |
| (Young Adult) | Underwent a full hysterectomy. |
| (Current Age) | Developed serious health complications (incontinence) from testosterone. |
| (Current Age) | Stopped testosterone and began taking estrogen due to health complications. |
| (Current Age) | Currently in therapy, detransitioning, and working to understand if my journey was due to true dysphoria or internalized homophobia and body dysmorphia. |
Top Comments by /u/SkeletalJoe:
I MIGHT have developed incontinence because of testosterone (HRT), I'll be going off T and starting Estrogen (I had a full hysto) at the end of this month, I'm hopeful my bladder symptoms will improve as localized estrogen hasn't done anything to help.
Trans women are trans women, it's just the reality. To me the whole point of transitioning is to become as similar to a biological male or female as possible, however that won't make you biologically your target sex.
For me it's just the reality of the situation, plus I don't believe in souls or anything so being "born in the wrong body" doesn't exist.... It's a mental disorder, a very confusing and painful mental disorder.
This is why the medicalization of transsexualism is so important, it's gender dysphoria that makes a person trans, not opposing stereotypes. This is why there are so many detrans, because people are transitioning for the wrong reasons.
The diagnostic criteria means nothing anymore. It's messed up.
I feel if they beefed up the diagnostic criteria and gatekeep the diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, using it only as a last resort, it would be appropriate in specific situations.
However because it's become so relaxed and allows anyone, regardless of diagnosis, to transition I feel it's gotten out of control. Some of these people just really need therapy, not medical transition. And with a lot of the transgender rhetoric people are getting confused and the community is encouraging them to transition when that's not what they need.
I believe gender dysphoria is a real condition, rather a mental illness, but the number of cases we see today and the definition/diagnosis we currently have is too broad and I bet the majority of those women (and men) are experiencing different mental health conditions, not true gender dysphoria.
But you're totally right, there's A LOT of bullshit being peddled right now towards vulnerable people who are not actually transsexual, the obsession with blindly affirming is dangerous.
I personally am still trying to figure out if what I've been experiencing is actual gender dysphoria or internalized misogyny mixed with some extreme form of body dysmorphia. Finding a psychiatrist who is willing to seriously push back and help me figure this out rather than just affirm me is extremely difficult.
I feel those stats are inaccurate as those who detransition are often silenced by the trans community, there was a whole study about it by a trans doctor (I can link it if need be).
I'm currently confused. HRT caused awful side effects that weren't mentioned (in severity) in the informed consent. I have however received three separate diagnoses of GID by psychiatrists (as per the DSM-4), yet I can't use HRT and I have a strange anxiety (or maybe paranoia) that maybe I was a bitch lesbian who's been twisted and warped. I'm honestly not sure, I can't deny the distorted emotional and mental thoughts/feelings I have for my sex characteristics, and I came from a happy, healthy household and experienced no trauma.
So I'm still working with my shrink to figure it all out. I feel like the solution is on the tip of my tongue.
OP I kind of relate. I'm at a crossroads currently, do I continue my transition or am I a butch lesbian who's suffering from severe internalized homophobia?
I was bullied a lot as a kid for dressing and acting "like a boy", so that's why I'm even questioning if internalized homophobia is involved. I personally believe that gender dysphoria is a real mental condition and that so far the only treatment is transitioning, however what it's become today is ridiculous and dangerous. It's no longer seen as a medical condition and has become cult-ish, it's basically lost it's medical status. Which is allowing those who do suffer from internalized homophobia to permanently alter their bodies when it's not necessary.
That said, one thing I'm currently working on is not pushing myself into a box. Just focusing on the fact I am female and trying not to label how I act, present, etc. Only labeling my sex and sexual orientation, that's it.
I've seen hyper fem gay men who are confident and happy in their skin, it is possible. There are plenty of gender non-conforming individuals who are not trans and live happy lives, secure in themselves.
Give living as a GNC gay man another shot, but this time focus only on what makes you comfortable in your skin and avoid the trap of gendering your actions. Try viewing how you dress and act and "me" actions and not "man" or "woman" things.
Lastly, a shrink is also helpful. I've been seeing a psychoanalyst to help me unravel my own confusion and it's helped a little.
Good luck OP!
I feel like doctors are too quick to affirm and don't address or take into consideration other mental health issues the patient may have.
Address the other condition(s) before moving forward with GID diagnosis. I also feel the criteria for GID diagnosis have become too relaxed in the DSM-5.
I also feel that people are too quick to convince cisgender GNC people into thinking they are transsexual.
To me there are two "camps", transsexuals: those who truly experience clinical GID, and transgender: those who aren't actually trans or are AGP.
But I do agree on the social contagion part, especially thanks to tiktok, transgender individuals are usually those who have been brainwashed by other transgender individuals on tiktok or other social media and are chasing a misdiagnosis, I've even seen transgender individuals tell others on forums what to say in order to get the diagnosis of Gender dysphoria.
Transsexualism needs to be treated like the medical condition it is, not the social contagion of transgenderism. I feel diagnostic criteria has become too loose and become victims of misdiagnosis.
I pretty much agree with most of what you posted. Young girls and teens especially are looking for an escape rather than getting the treatment they actually need. I've also witnessed in the LGBT community a pissing contest among members over who's more transgender, who's suffered the most... There is social capital to be gained currently. It's crazy. It's one of the reasons I no longer associate with the LGBT community...