genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/SkirtTwirlingDude's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 21
male
internalised homophobia
regrets transitioning
trauma
autogynephilia (agp)
depression
influenced online
became religious
anxiety
only transitioned socially
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user expresses complex, nuanced, and emotionally charged opinions that are consistent with a genuine desister's perspective. The narrative is personal, detailed, and shows internal consistency over time, including the evolution of their views and the specific reasons for their desistance (e.g., religious conflict, discomfort with medical transition, and community politics). There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

About me

I started identifying as a trans woman online after trauma made me feel disconnected from being male. I eventually left because the community felt repressive and hypersexualized, and I was chased out for my Christian beliefs. I realized medical transition wasn't for me and that I needed real support, not just an online echo chamber. I've reconnected with my faith and found a peaceful community in my church. I don't regret exploring my identity, but I'm much happier now that I've left that toxic culture behind.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I had always felt a bit effeminate and experienced some dysphoria, but two separate instances of abuse from other boys my age really pushed those feelings into overdrive. I think that trauma played a big part in why I latched onto the idea of transitioning.

I started identifying as transgender online. For a while, it felt fun and exciting to be part of that community. I was socially anxious, and the online spaces made me feel accepted. But I started to notice things that made me uncomfortable. The community could be extremely repressive; I was chased out of online trans circles just for being a Christian, even though I never forced my beliefs on anyone. It felt hypocritical, especially when I saw other types of people, like autogynephilic men who were transitioning for kinky reasons, being fully supported. I'm sex-positive, but it felt wrong that they were given the same treatment as people who were sincerely dysphoric or cis women.

The overall culture also felt very hypersexualized to me. There seemed to be a lack of boundaries, with people posting what felt like pornography or erotica in general spaces and then calling anyone who was uncomfortable "sex-negative." I know I even crossed some of those lines myself when I identified as a trans girl, and I regret that.

Ultimately, I realized that being transgender was incredibly hard and didn't align with my goals in life. To truly become a woman, I would have had to pursue medical changes I wasn't comfortable with. I began to disconnect from that online world. I reconnected with my faith and started going to church again. I haven't become more conservative, but my church life gives me a sense of peace and community that the trans spaces didn't. I still sometimes crossdress in private, but I keep it to myself.

I don't regret exploring my gender because it helped me figure out who I am, but I do regret the specific time I spent in those extreme online circles. I needed psychological support, not just enabling. I still have friends who are trans, and I don't dislike trans people or want them to lose healthcare. My problem was never with them as individuals, but with a toxic online culture that doesn't allow for different beliefs or honest discussion.

I now believe that a lot of people in these spaces are young, traumatized, or terminally online. They feel closed off and bullied by society, which is a genuine problem, but hiding behind screens creates an echo chamber that makes things worse. For me, leaving that behind was the right choice.

Age Event
14 Experienced abuse from peers; feelings of dysphoria and effeminacy intensified.
16 Began identifying as a trans woman online and in social circles.
19 Started to question the trans community's culture and my place within it.
20 Left trans communities online; began reconnecting with my Christian faith and church.
21 Stopped identifying as transgender (desisted).

Top Comments by /u/SkirtTwirlingDude:

10 comments • Posting since June 20, 2023
Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) comments on the psychological impact of trans support, recounting being threatened for a military career and finding peace in church life after desisting.
27 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

> To be fair everyone who isnt left of mao is alt right to those types.

Yep. I got told once by a trans person that they would legitimately think about killing me if I had gone with my teenage plans of becoming a naval officer, since that was "faschy".

> She may have simply reconnected with her Christian father and started going to church. Oh the horror!

You mean like I did after desisting? I haven't even become more conservative, I just feel more connected to my church life now that I'm not wilding out with gender stuff. I still hide my crossdressing but there's a general distaste for men who wear women's clothes in the West (at the same token, women who dress in men's clothes are seldom bothered except by the most reactionary spaces).

> Its pretty normal to want to cut out all those people from that time in your life. The enablers, the "egg_irl" types.

Yeah, I mean, I know that they think they were doing me a big favor my supporting my transition, and it made my days as a trans girl less awkward and more fun for sure, but it also isn't what I needed psychologically.

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) counters the idea of peaceful, obscure religions, citing the brutal histories of Buddhist/Confucian nations and the oppression of Christians, while also disputing the romanticized view of pre-Christian pagan faiths.
20 pointsJun 24, 2023
View on Reddit

> All of the other religions are so obscure and mostly just centered around peace, inner peace, and respecting the planet do I have no issue with them. They are HEAVILY over shadowed tho.

Literally every Buddhist and Confucian country has a brutal history with religion too, stop it. This view is very western-centric. My family left our homeland because the government oppresses us Christians there.

And it's not like the pre-Christian pagan faiths were tree-hugging hippies before the Franks came along and "destroyed it".

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) discusses the challenges and possibilities of building a bridge between detrans and trans communities, noting the need for grassroots organizing and the difficulty in finding politically active detrans individuals, as many are desistors for whom it was a temporary phase.
8 pointsJun 25, 2023
View on Reddit

Yes, I do think so. But it would require grassroots organizing and none of this terminally online bullshit, because people IRL are generally more chill than whatever culture war battles go on online. Obviously, this has some hurdles.

A big problem is actually finding enough detrans people (we probably make up less than .5% of the population) to talk about their experiences. My guess is that most of the "detrans population" are desistors, who were teenagers who went through a phase, then proceeded to forget about their time being trans. They might laugh or joke about it, but their social/test transition has no bearing on their adult, cis life, so why make some kind of political statement about it?

I promise that there are many reasonable trans people who respond favorably to detrans people. Most of my tg friends are still my friends even after desisting :)

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) explains how childhood abuse by other boys intensified his pre-existing gender dysphoria and desire to be effeminate.
7 pointsJun 24, 2023
View on Reddit

> Note- if you were a victim of abuse that is really sad but the best way forward is loving yourself, accepting your past, and moving into a future of strength, courage, and self care. ❤️

Yes, twice by other teenaged boys was I abused by them. I already had dysphoria and wanted to be effeminate even back then, but I think those... instances propelled my dysphoria into overdrive.

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) discusses the painful romantic reality for heterosexual trans women who desire traditional relationships and motherhood but face biological limitations.
7 pointsJun 25, 2023
View on Reddit

> along with a tacit expectation that "straight trans girls" or "HSTS'" just integrate into cishet womanhood, somehow completely oblivious to the non-viability of that.

I want to point out that this fact is very painful for trans-het women. I know a number of trans-heterosexual girls who dearly want a man to sweep them off their feet, lead them, and then carry his children, but they know deep down how impossible that is. It's sad to me because it's pretty clear that they do have a stereotypically "heterosexual female" view on what they want romantically but just cannot because trans women can't get pregnant. It's a tough way to live, no doubt. So my pity is pretty strong in this regard.

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) comments on the hypersexual culture within the transgender community, criticizing the violation of boundaries and the dismissal of discomfort as "sex negativity."
6 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

Yeah, I don't know if it's trans people generally being younger or what but transgender people are extremely horny as a whole IME. And some of it I get. Some of it is that they just want to feel sexy in their new bodily changes. But there are boundaries and norms that even I violated when I was a trans girl. Their justification for breaking said boundaries is always something dumb like "sex negativity", when it's like, "Maybe people who themselves aren't raging transphobes are uncomfortable with what amounts to pornography they didn't really want to see, or erotica they didn't want to read?"

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) comments that their biggest issue with the subreddit is that it seems half the users are not detransitioners but people who "never even considered being trans" and are there to "moan trans rights," clarifying that while being trans wasn't for them, they don't dislike trans people or want them to lose healthcare.
5 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

Honestly that's been my biggest beef so far with this sub. It sounds like this sub is like, half people who never even considered being trans and are just here to moan trans rights. Look, being trans wasn't for me, but that doesn't mean that I dislike trans people or want them to lose healthcare.

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) explains how terminally online echo chambers, common to platforms like Twitter and Reddit, foster extreme ideologies in groups like incels, gamers, and the trans community.
4 pointsJun 25, 2023
View on Reddit

Mostly the problem is just that Twitter is just a shithole. As with anything on a very public forum, the people who post 90% of the content make up less than 5% of the userbase. This applies also to Reddit.

What happens is that you have people who are terminally online with no real friends or hobbies, who then get caught into their awful trains of thought and become very cagey. Incels? They probably had a few bad experiences dating and went down a rabbit hole, so then convincing them that women aren't evil or that they can work hard to find love is nigh impossible. Numb-butt gamers? Same deal, probably were normal youths who liked vidya games but then were bullied and found solace in online communities, only to reinforce addiction to gaming.

And with trans persons, there's a reason for how they feel. They feel closed off by society, bullied, attacked, etc. because violence against transgender people is unfortunately very common. Like or dislike trans people or the general community's culture, this is a GENUINE EVIL. The response to hid behind computer screens but stay closeted in real life is understandable, but it does create echo chambers like you're describing where they've entrenched far into their ideology (be it far leftism or gender ideology or "abolishing gender"). My point here is that, don't mind this person. Trans people can be hard to deal with because of their mental health issues, but actually cagey and awful ones are usually terminally online or like, the age of 20 at absolute tops.

Reddit user SkirtTwwirlingDude (desisted male) explains his decision to detransition, citing the difficulty of being transgender and a discomfort with the required medical changes.
3 pointsJun 20, 2023
View on Reddit

A bit of both. While there was some time of feeling like it was "fun" to be transgender, I ultimately realized that being transgender is very hard and doesn't align with my goals in life. In order to become a woman (or a trans woman) I would've needed to pursue medical changes that I just wasn't comfortable with.

Reddit user SkirtTwirlingDude (desisted male) explains why they left the transgender community, citing repression of their Christian beliefs and discomfort with the acceptance of autogynephilic men.
3 pointsJun 20, 2023
View on Reddit

I also didn't like being forced to go along with popular trans politics some of which are quite extreme. They snoop your comments and watch even what subs you post in. I think not even being able to express your own views is very repressive.

I feel this way very much in the transgender community. I'm socially anxious as-is, but when I was being chased out of trans circles online for being a Christian, just as unironic autogynephiles were being supported, I seriously began questioning why on EARTH I'd even continue identifying as transgender if I can't have my private religious beliefs which I don't force on ANYONE, but men who get turned on by transitioning are allowed to do as they please.

To be clear I am sex positive. If feeling girly turns you on, then I can't fault a man for feeling that way. However I think it's a bad idea to be giving kinky men the same treatment as cisgender women and *sincerely* trans women.