This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona.
The comments demonstrate:
- Internal consistency in a nuanced, radical feminist perspective on gender and detransition.
- Personal experience, such as references to a history of eating disorders and sexual abuse as motivations for considering transition.
- Complex, multi-paragraph reasoning that engages with other users' specific situations, which is atypical for bot behavior.
The user identifies as a desister (someone who considered but did not medically transition) and their passionate, sometimes angry tone is consistent with the stated context of individuals who feel harmed by their experiences.
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with my female body when I hit puberty, especially with my developing breasts and the way men began to sexualize me. I got very involved in online fandoms where I romanticized gay male relationships and felt pressured to identify as a trans man to avoid being seen as a fetishist. My past trauma and a desire to feel safe also made me believe becoming a man was the only solution, and I even developed an eating disorder to try and look like a slender male anime character. I considered top surgery but stopped when I realized I could never actually be male and that my dysphoria was rooted in trauma and internalized misogyny. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman, understanding that my worth isn't tied to gender roles and that my body deserves love.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female, and when I hit puberty, I began to feel a deep discomfort with my body, especially with developing breasts. I hated the way I was suddenly sexualized by men, and it made me feel awful. I thought a lot about becoming a man because it seemed like a way to escape that and to be taken more seriously in the world.
A huge part of my experience was being deeply involved in online fandom spaces, like Tumblr. I grew up reading and writing a lot of fanfiction, especially about male characters in romantic relationships with each other. I started to romanticize the idea of being a gay man because, in these stories, their relationships seemed so much more equal and romantic than the heterosexual relationships I saw around me, which felt tainted by sexism. There was also this pressure in those communities; it felt like if you were a girl who liked stories about gay men, you were a fetishizing bigot. So, to avoid that label, I felt like I had to be a trans gay man instead of just a girl who liked stories.
I also struggled with serious trauma from past sexual abuse. I thought that if I could become a man, I would be safe. I would be the protector and no one could hurt me again. This was tied to very low self-esteem and depression. I even developed an eating disorder, thinking that if I was very skinny, I could look more like a slender, feminine boy—the kind of character I admired in anime and manga. I never wanted to be a regular man; I wanted to be a specific aesthetic ideal, a "bishonen," which I now know is impossible.
I considered social transition and even looked into top surgery because I hated my breasts so much. But I never actually went through with any medical transition. The thing that stopped me was the realization that I would never actually be male. It would just be an aesthetic solution to a much deeper problem rooted in trauma, internalized misogyny, and a desire to escape the difficulties of being a woman in a patriarchal society. I realized my dysphoria wasn't about being born in the wrong body, but about being born in a world that treats women poorly.
I don't regret exploring these feelings, but I am glad I didn't medically transition. I’ve come to understand that there is no wrong way to be a woman. A woman can be masculine, can like "guy" things, can use masculine pronouns, and can even have dysphoria without having to change her body. My worth isn't tied to my sex or how well I fit into a gender role. My body is me, and it deserves love and respect for carrying me through life.
I’ve benefited from stepping back from those online spaces and thinking more critically. I now believe that gender is a social construct that can, and should, be challenged and changed, but sex is a biological reality. Transition can be a valid choice for some, but for me, it would have been treating the symptom, not the cause. The cause was my trauma, my discomfort with puberty, and the sexist society I live in. The solution for me was to find solidarity with other women and work on accepting myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty. Felt intense discomfort with breast development and being sexualized by men. |
| 14-16 | Deeply involved in online fandom (Tumblr, fanfiction). Began romanticizing gay male relationships and experiencing "gender envy" for male anime characters. |
| 17 | Seriously considered social and medical transition to become a man as an escape from trauma and misogyny. Researched top surgery. |
| 18 | Realized I would never actually be male and that my desire to transition was rooted in trauma and escapism, not a true identity. Decided against medical intervention. |
| 19 | Began to detransition socially and work on self-acceptance as a female person, understanding that there is no wrong way to be a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/SmileRevolutionary82:
I think this is common among leftist males in the west because many of them, upon learning about the various -isms of the world (racism, sexism, etc) feel a lot of guilt. They can’t stop being white so they seek to stop being men. I don’t think that’s always the case but it has happened.
I think it’s important to remember the trans movement started to help transsexuals who were really oppressed on very basic levels - denied housing and employment and forced to work in prostitution. That’s still the case in some places, especially in countries in the Global South, and that still happens to black and brown trans women and men even in rich countries. It wasn’t always a movement led manly by middle class white males with agp who want to claim women’s spaces and terminally online kids on tiktok. I understand your anger because I’ve felt it too. I think it’s important to take into consideration two things 1) not every trans person is a terminally online bully, lots of trans people just want to live their lives in peace, many disagree with the state of the trans movement 2) we live in a insane world and it’s hard for people to figure out who they are especially when it’s sold to them that they can be anyone if they pay for it. So it’s easy to fall into the idea that they’re trans. You have to call bullshit when you see it but also have compassion and understanding.
There are trans people, especially the old school ones, who know they’ll never actually be the opposite sex and that’s ok. There will be people who love you for who you are. Truth is, it will probably be a homosexual or bisexual male but what is wrong with that?
You said you don’t think it’s worth transitioning because of a fetish have you ever thought about how we women feel about that? About men fetishing our existence to the point of wanting to become us? And not even based on actual women but on porn, which is unrealistic or sometimes Japanese cartoons? Saying “she gets to be good at guitar AND be a girl”… no offense but do you hear yourself? You seriously need to content with the misogyny and sexism that has made you feel like that and understand that women are people, not sexual objects that live in pornland.
lots of these new trans men are tumblr kids who grew up worshipping male characters and reading about them in fanfiction written by females. So it’s always about feminine boys who get to be feminine bc femininity (and liking men) in them is revolutionary and rebellious while in a girl is the expected. they want to be the characters they write about and make fanarts of, not real men.
Lots of people on social media act as if the more oppressed you are the holier you are. So in certain circles (especially online and on western/rich countries) if you’re trans you’re special and no longer an “oppressor”. It’s also a way of ignoring larger societal problems and focusing on the individual — if you’re trans it’s like you’re “enlightened” unlike the dumb “cis” people.
I believe the trans suicide rate is grossly exaggerated (that 41% rate is apparently a lie), but for people who do commit suicide I think it’s all the reasons you mentioned plus thinking transition will solve all their problems plus not treating trauma and other issues because they thought all their pain was due to being trans.
You’re not inherently evil for being a man. good is not something you are, is something you do. A lesbian black disabled poor woman can be an asshole and a straight rich white guy can be a good person - your morality is not tied to how much “privilege” you have or lack, it’s about your choices. It’s about the people you help, the lives you touch. I feel like that’s what leads some men into transition in the age of social media and social justice being distilled and distorted into a card game of privilege and sin. You can be as feminine as you want, there’s nothing wrong with that. Take into account that you’ll never be female, and ask yourself if being a TRANS woman will make you happy.
The thing is, being attracted to women is not a “masculine” trait. And being happy to be perceived as a boy in a world that treats women terribly is completely understandable. My dysphoria also intensified when I hit puberty because I started being sexualised by men, which I hated. I think your mother was unfair to call you an attention seeker. It’s normal to be figuring yourself out at your age. Good luck!
I hate to drop the cliché but woman = adult human female. Women in general might be more attuned to certain emotions and experience hormonal fluctuations due to menstrual circles but there’s nothing in our brains that dictates that we should like pink, be nurturing, apply make up and having long hair. That’s all social constructed. Butch, male passing women are part of womanhood.