This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly personal, emotionally complex, and spans a long period with a clear, evolving internal conflict. The story of grappling with BPD, trauma, testosterone use, and the eventual decision to detransition is nuanced and consistent with the passionate, often painful, experiences shared by genuine desisters and detransitioners. The language is natural, with personal anecdotes and emotional shifts that are difficult to fake convincingly.
About me
I was born female and my struggles with identity started in my teens, influenced by trauma and my Borderline Personality Disorder. I identified as a trans man for seven years and eventually started testosterone, believing it was the answer to my pain. Through therapy, I realized my dysphoria was rooted in internalized misogyny and trauma, not in being the wrong sex. I decided to detransition almost overnight when I discovered my dysphoria vanished the moment I stopped trying to be a man. I’m now learning to love myself as a woman, though I regret the medical path I took.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s only recently that I’ve found a sense of clarity and peace. I was born female, and my struggles started in my early teens. I had a lot of self-esteem issues and a difficult relationship with my body, which I now see was heavily influenced by my older brother’s cruel comments about my appearance, calling me fat and picking on my features. I also have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which comes with a lifetime of severe identity confusion, and I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts for a long time.
When I was around 14, I discovered trans YouTubers and became completely consumed by the idea that I was trans. I desired testosterone and top surgery so much; it felt like the answer to all my problems. I was offered hormone blockers at 15 but refused them because something felt fishy about the whole ideology, especially the idea that people could be trans without dysphoria. Even though I had doubts, I started identifying as a trans man and socially transitioned. I was ‘trans’ for seven years.
At 21, my GP prescribed me testosterone as a bridge prescription while I was waiting for the gender clinic. He was a kind man, but he was completely uninformed about the serious health risks; he told me the only thing to worry about was blood clots. I now feel it’s wrong that GPs are allowed to do this. I was on T for a while. I noticed changes, like my smell becoming more musky, and for a time, I was happy with it. I even planned to get top surgery.
But my underlying issues never went away. I’ve been in therapy for years for BPD and for sexual trauma, and that work helped me start to untangle everything. I spent a lot of time on detransition spaces reading stories, which helped me accept the hard truth that I might regret transitioning. I came to believe that my dysphoria was likely rooted in internalized misogyny, trauma, and a deep unhappiness with myself, not in being born in the wrong body. I started to see that ‘gender dysphoria’ should probably be called ‘sex dysphoria’ because it’s a medical condition related to my body, not a social identity.
The turning point happened almost overnight. I’d had doubts for a long time but always dismissed them. One day, I woke up and decided to put on a wig and some feminine clothes and go out as a woman. It was scary, but it didn’t feel wrong. In fact, I realized that my dysphoria only appeared when I was trying to look like a man. The moment I stopped forcing it, the dysphoria vanished. I saw old photos of myself with long hair and realized I never gave myself a chance to look good as a woman; I was just in an awkward pre-teen phase when I last presented female.
I’ve decided to detransition. Letting go of testosterone has been hard because it felt addictive, and it was difficult to let go of the man I wanted to become for so long. But I’m planning to stop T and not pursue any surgeries. I’m going to university soon for acting, and I was worried about my voice affecting the roles I’d get as a woman, but I’m working on vocal training and I’m confident I can manage it. I’m now proud to be female. I can appreciate the strength and beauty of women and feel a connection to womanhood, even if my journey to get here was messy.
I do have regrets. I regret starting testosterone and putting my body through that, and I regret the years I spent living as someone I wasn’t. I feel a lot of anger towards the clinics and the ideology that pushes affirmation without question, especially for vulnerable people like me with serious mental health struggles. But I don’t regret the journey itself because it led me to a place of self-acceptance. I’m finally learning to love myself for who I am: a woman.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Discovered trans YouTubers and began to believe I was a trans man. Socially transitioned. |
| 15 | Was offered hormone blockers but refused them. Continued to identify as trans. |
| 21 | My GP prescribed testosterone as a bridge prescription. |
| 21 | Realized I needed to detransition. Stopped trying to present as male and began living as a woman again. Planned to stop taking testosterone. |
Top Comments by /u/Snoo_85491:
i know someone who recently backed out of top surgery because of the same reason but is still planning on going for it. they’ve only been ‘trans’ for a year. but if i sent a screenshot of this to him i’m almost certain i’d be told i was being transphobic or rude or something
i’m on this subreddit because i do sometimes question my transition but i am still happy with testosterone (ftm) at this time. so let’s just say i’m still trans.
i completely respect detransitioners and feel compassion towards them because of how hard it must be.
more trans people have to accept that many people who detransition still experience/d gender dysphoria. and therefore, any one of us could at some point realise that transitioning was the wrong path.
i have accepted this fact. and if i later regret my transition, then i will deal with it. i also think that a lot of trans people already know they’re making the wrong choice but feel trapped into it now because of this ‘traitor’ mentality.
sorry, i’m aware this isn’t helpful to your situation. i only read the title lol.
a woman is an adult female human, as i said. changing that definition to be anything more ‘complex’ is a really bad idea, imo.
feminity is anything society deems a ‘woman’s thing’. it changes all the time over centuries.
In terms of things that might actually help you, I’m still considering myself a transman but I am still proud to be female. I can have dysphoria but still feel strong in my womanhood, if that makes sense. I prefer the company of other women, I don’t hold the same values as many men and act differently to them, too. So I guess to be proud of being a woman, you must be appreciative of how women are vs men.
Men can be happy to be men in other ways, sure. But the strength and beauty of women all over the world is outstanding and something to connect with if you are one.
That was a bit of a mess, my bad
I agree with you. So I’ve sent them an email. They may still want to see me to discuss it over and I’m worried I’ll fall into that trap of not letting go. I just want to be done with it all. They can’t make me stay on their service, but I don’t know if I have the strength to say no.
Thank you for this I think you’re right. Testosterone is kind of addictive and it’s hard to let go of the ‘man’ I wanted to become for so long. But taking this wig off just made me sad. I want to go out like this and start living as a woman again NOW! Not later, not in 3 years when I’ve finished uni. But it is scary!
So yes the gender fluid thing is good advice, too. Thank you 🩷
“Feeling immense regret isn't really a thing you should kill yourself over.”
• I agree. But I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for a long time anyway. Wouldn’t be the only reason I did it. But I agree I don’t think suicide is necessary and hopefully it won’t come to that.
“If I were you, I would quit T.“
• I agree this is probably the best course of action for me but I can’t seem to bring myself to yet.
“A lot of us transition because of misogyny and internalized misogyny.“
• Yes, you’re right. This is likely part of the reason I have dysphoria.
“What brought you here?”
• I wanted a place to vent that wasn’t just to myself in my diary, I guess.
“Whatever you decide, good luck! I gave advice in my message but in the end you know the best what's the best option for you.”
• Thank you for your time, really.
Correct. I feel for the GP because he was kind but clearly uninformed. It’s not his fault the ideology exists. And I’d even convinced myself I was trans so of course I convinced him. I’d have been able to easily convince the gender ‘specialists’, too.
Most of the workers in the NHS seem to view trans as a happy little identity that needs to be affirmed, rather than a serious mental disorder. They also are severely uninformed of the risks and seriousness of transition.
Having a history of suicide attempts in my teens, they seem to take that a lot less seriously. I’ve spent some time in psych wards and there’s a hell of a lot of medical neglect there. But if you say you’re trans, no one pushes back. Maybe some want to but are too afraid of being seen as transphobic.
I have a lot of rage for Gender GP and any private clinics in the UK. I’m fairly sure that they ARE informed but just want money.
Thank you so much for taking the time to offer this advice. I think weirdly I can only picture myself in the acting world as a man, but every other part of my life as a woman. And so I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll not get any surgeries or stay on T for much longer. And I’ll go to uni presenting as a man but outside of acting I’ll be a woman.
I know it’s unconventional, and quite evidently not ‘trans’. But it would make me happiest.
Real life Hannah Montana haha. Acting probably won’t get me anywhere, anyway. So I’ll end up living as a woman all the time most likely.
I’d been ‘trans’ for 7 years so he prescribed it as a bridge prescription while I wait for the gender services. Most GP’s say no to this but some will say yes. Even when I was happy he said yes, I felt it was wrong that GPs should be allowed to do this.
He also had zero clue about the risks. He said the only thing I’d have to worry about was blood clots so to keep an eye on it. I was like “actually no there’s a lot more than that that could go wrong but I still think it’s worth it.” 🥲
It happened overnight, honestly. I’d had doubts before but dismissed them. One day, I woke up with the strength to express myself as a woman. I went to the shops in a wig, spoke with a more feminine voice… and it didn’t feel wrong. It felt scary but not dysphoric. I quickly realized my dysphoria was tied to trying to look like a man. The moment I stopped, the dysphoria disappeared.