This story is from the comments by /u/Sonderosity that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Sonderosity" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal understanding of the detransition experience, including:
- Detailed personal history with HRT, therapy, and social transition/detransition.
- Complex, evolving views that show genuine introspection (e.g., discussing internalized misogyny, the "honeymoon period" of transition, and the challenges of social reintegration).
- Offering empathetic, specific, and practical advice to others that aligns with common detransitioner concerns (e.g., hormonal changes, voice issues, finding support).
- A clear and consistent narrative over a two-year period, including personal struggles, setbacks, and milestones.
The passion and criticism expressed are consistent with a genuine individual who has experienced significant harm and stigma, not with the patterns of an inauthentic account.
About me
I started transitioning in my early twenties, believing testosterone was the answer to my deep unhappiness and depression. For several years, I felt more confident, but I eventually realized I was using it as a workaround for trauma and self-hatred instead of healing. I stopped hormones a couple of years ago, and the process was physically and emotionally difficult. I'm now living as a woman again and dealing with permanent changes like a deeper voice. My journey taught me that true peace comes from self-acceptance, not from changing my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was around 20 years old. I was deeply unhappy, struggling with depression, and had even attempted suicide before I ever considered transition. I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in trauma, low self-esteem, and an eating disorder I had battled. I also came from a very strict religious background that filled me with a lot of internalized misogyny; I was taught that being a woman meant being less than.
I started identifying as non-binary at first, and then later as a trans man. I was convinced that testosterone was the answer to all my problems. I was on T for about five or six years. At first, it felt amazing—like a honeymoon period. I had so much energy, built muscle easily, and finally felt powerful in a way I never had before. It quieted the constant mood swings I had and made me feel more stable and confident. But that feeling didn't last.
Over time, I started to realize that I couldn't ever really be a cis man. I was just a trans man, and that came with its own set of struggles. I tried to break into male-dominated fields of work, but I could never really fit in with the culture. The way men communicated and bonded was foreign to me because I’d been socialized as female. I felt like an outsider, a fraud, and I was often treated poorly because I was petite and didn’t act "masculine" enough.
A big moment of clarity for me happened while I was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Being out in nature, away from all the noise of society, made me realize how much I was complicating my life. I was hiding my body, injecting hormones to maintain a persona, and relying on a pharmaceutical to feel okay. I felt dishonest. I realized that what I truly wanted was to have been born male, but since I couldn't change that, transitioning was just a workaround that wasn't sustainable for me. I was tired of pretending.
I hung on to my trans identity for about two more years after that because the thought of detransitioning felt humiliating. I was afraid people would think I was stupid or attention-seeking. But the cognitive dissonance became too much. I slowly stopped taking testosterone and started the process of detransitioning.
Coming off T was rough. I had horrible mood swings, depression, and hot flashes. My hormones were a mess and I ended up going on antidepressants for a while. My body changed back slowly—my fat redistributed, my body hair lightened and thinned, and my menstrual cycle returned. But some changes are permanent: my voice is permanently deeper, I have facial hair I have to manage, and my clitoris grew and is now overly sensitive, which is actually painful during sex.
I don’t regret transitioning because I think I needed to go through it to learn who I really am. It probably saved my life at the time because I was so suicidal. But I do regret the permanent changes, especially my voice. I used to love to sing, and now I can barely do it. It’s a constant reminder of a choice I can’t take back.
My thoughts on gender are complicated. I think a lot of our struggles with gender come from a sick society that forces outdated roles on us. I wish the concept of gender didn’t exist. For me, transition was an attempt to escape from my problems—trauma, self-hatred, and an abusive relationship—rather than dealing with them. I’ve learned that true happiness comes from self-acceptance and radical self-love, not from changing your body to fit an ideal.
I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy that finally helped me work through my trauma instead of just affirming my desire to transition. Finding a partner who loved me unconditionally also showed me that I was enough just as I am. I’m now trying to focus on what my body can do rather than what it looks like, and to see the value in myself beyond gender.
Here’s a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 20 | Began identifying as non-binary, then as a trans man. Started testosterone (T) therapy. |
| 20-25 | Lived as a trans man. Experienced a "honeymoon period" of increased confidence and energy. |
| 26 | Moment of clarity while hiking. Began to question my transition and desire to detransition. |
| 28 | Officially stopped taking testosterone and began the process of social and medical detransition. |
| 30+ | Present day. Living as a detransitioned woman, managing permanent changes from T, and continuing to work on self-acceptance. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Sonderosity:
I used to be involved in the Jehovahs Witnesses and there are a lot of parallels. Love bombing, “educating” aka indoctrinating, thought policing, persecution complex, us vs. them mentality, shaming, shunning, forbidden “apostate” literature/media, insular community making it difficult to leave, perfectionism, false promises, hiding scandals within the group to save face, virtue signaling, a small ”anointed” class entirely based on self-report…and probably a lot more that I’m forgetting. This isn’t to say that they’re equivalent ; JW definitely was more damaging in my experience, ofc that’s just me. The further away I get from these ideologies the crazier they seem when looking back.
Wow, those detrans stats are very concerning. More than 50% of detransitioners socially transitioned under the age of 18, over 40% started medical transition in less than a year, 43% had surgeries, and 53% were taking hormones for over two years before they detransitioned. That is a lot of damage.
Like, I don’t remember ANY trans people in my city public high school, and now that it’s become more prevalent, these kids are turning out to be over represented in detransitioning…..
Thank you to DetransIS for the hard work compiling all of this.
‘Shocking: Abusive parents are disrespecting their child’s gut biome identity by forcing them to eat vegetables instead of candy?! More at 6’
In all seriousness though, my passive fantasy about being male only turned into gender dysphoria that required medical intervention when I was taught that becoming a man was a realistic possibility. Medicalization is just adding unnecessary complications to the kid’s life ; we should let them explore various identity expressions in safe ways that don’t involve elective drugs/procedures
One thing I’ll never understand is why some people think that we hate trans people and want to make their lives harder. Because those of us who are permanently changed by hormones and surgeries will always be read as trans, even if we’re cis. I’ll probably get read as a trans woman or NB by people for the rest of my life.
I think detrans women are more visible for the same reason trans women are more visible than trans men. Testosterone is powerful- even those of us who didn’t get surgeries are left with unusually deep voices (for a woman) , facial hair, adams apple, receded hairline, etc. It’s easier for a detransitioning man who hasn’t had surgery to reintegrate as a man and move on while us women feel like we have to explain / apologize for ourselves.
Furthermore, ftm referrals outnumber mtf amongst minors, the demographic for which detransition is a higher risk.
You probably didn’t get responses because when people see a panicked message it’s very intimidating, and it’s kind of vague too which makes it hard to give specific advice; no one wants to say the wrong thing and push you over the edge. Would you mind explaining in more detail what the situation is? Like, what are the chronic conditions? Why are you feeling so upset? How long have you been feeling this way? How old are you? Have you tried connecting with support groups for your conditions? Do you have family or close friends you can talk to?
Celebrities are people too and though we may not like how someone has changed we don’t own them. It isn’t our place to scrutinize the actions of someone we’ve never met. I agree that hopefully the increased trans awareness will also bring awareness to detransition and bring nuance and empathy to the conversation. Personally I wish the concept of gender didn’t exist but that probably isn’t going to happen in our lifetimes. However I do think that our society can and should get over idolizing celebrities and public figures of any kind because it is a form of objectification.
FDS really rubs me the wrong way. It’s the female equivalent to incels/red pill. Like it’s good to be able to vent about our problems without guys coming in to “mansplain” but I think it goes too far and a lot sounds like straight up misandry. “Low value men”? Come on. On the other side the red pill incels call damaged people like me “low value women” and it fucking hurts. We aren’t commodities we are people. Like incels, theyve been burned and are feeding off each other’s horror stories to affirm their negative attitudes about men. The second sub you linked seems much more positive.
And yes I 100% agree with the OP, being a woman is exhausting and I’m really struggling right now because of it.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Tbh, it is hard, to trust oneself after detransition because we were so sure transition was the right path for us, and a lot of us had to fight for it, only to be proven wrong. It’s a very humbling experience and it hurts.
After grieving what you’ve lost, consider what you’ve gained. Have some self compassion. It isn’t your fault. Everyone falls down in life; we trip over different obstacles, sure. But there were factors driving you to transition, and unless it’s something like, you lost a bet or took on a dare, it was not frivolous. It came from somewhere. And it will be hard work processing what’s been repressed for so long but it’s so, so worth it. I’ve detransitioned for more than two years now, and I promise it gets better.
I respectfully disagree about disallowing non-binary identified detransitioners from engaging on this forum. For one, this sub is way wayyy more active than the two suggested subs. Second, one could be non-binary in gender identity but still acknowledge their sex, and quitting cross-sex hormone therapy, which is a very significant physical transition process. I think that process counts as detransition and thus their experience is just as valid to participate in this forum, and it is unfair to discourage that because it’s pressuring people to “pick a side” during a vulnerable period in their life.
Please reconsider this policy. If you are talking about people that have never taken steps to physically transition, this I understand. But, Anyone going through the physical process of detransition absolutely counts as a detransitioner.