This story is from the comments by /u/Souf1duh that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the Souf1duh account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account.
The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative of someone who medically transitioned (taking testosterone and having a mastectomy) and is now detransitioning. The user discusses complex, long-term physical and psychological effects, expresses a coherent ideology that evolved over time, and engages in detailed, multi-faceted conversations with others. The passion and anger present are consistent with someone who feels they have been harmed. The account does not exhibit the repetitive, shallow, or scripted patterns typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I was a teenager when I started feeling out of place and was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which led me to take testosterone and have surgery to remove my breasts. I thought becoming male would fix everything, but my dysphoria just shifted to other parts of my body, and I realized my discomfort was with society's expectations of women, not with being female. My biggest regret is the surgery, as I miss what I lost and am now permanently scarred with a deep voice and beard. Coming to accept that I am, and always was, a woman was a brutal but freeing truth that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I've stopped testosterone and am now focused on my health, trying to make peace with my past decisions and learn to love myself as I am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I felt completely out of place and was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I had no doubts at the time; I was sure I was a man and I pursued medical transition. I got referred to a gender clinic and started on my path.
Looking back, I realize I was way too young to be making those permanent decisions. The online world I was in was a huge influence; it felt so validating and different from real life. I started taking testosterone and eventually had top surgery to remove my breasts. At first, it felt right. I passed completely as male and people would be shocked when I told them I was trans. For a while, I felt better.
But that feeling didn't last. I thought transitioning would fix all my problems with my body and my self-esteem, but it didn’t. The dysphoria didn’t go away; it just moved. I’d fix one thing, like my chest, and then become obsessed with something else, like my jawline or my height. I was even looking into drastic surgeries like facial masculinization and leg lengthening. I was in deep, trying to become something I could never biologically be.
I started to realize that a lot of my feelings were based on stereotypes. I was a masculine female, and people had always told me I looked, walked, and talked like a boy. I took that as proof I was supposed to be male, but now I see that was a mistake. “Girl hobbies” don’t exist, just hobbies. You can be the most butch woman and still be a woman. I began to understand that my discomfort was with the stereotypes and expectations society puts on women, not with being female itself.
A big part of my journey involved my sexuality. I’m straight, and before transitioning, I felt worthless and ugly around guys. Watching pornography, I always preferred gay male porn and would imagine myself as one of the men. I think this was a way of distancing myself from the discomfort of being a woman in a heterosexual context; it was easier to remove myself from the equation entirely. It wasn’t the cause of my transition, but it was another thing I used to validate it.
Getting top surgery is my biggest regret. I hated my breasts and saw them as a nuisance, but now I deeply miss the sensation and intimacy they provided. My body is permanently scarred, both physically and mentally. I was on testosterone for over four years, and while I’ve been off it for about six months now, some changes are permanent. I have a thick beard and a very deep voice, which means I’m still read as male 100% of the time in public, which is its own kind of struggle.
Coming to the realization that I am, and always will be, a female was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. It was a brutal truth to accept, but it was freeing. I stopped fighting my body. I’m trying to make peace with the decisions I made because they felt right at the time, but I wouldn’t change a thing if I could go back. I’m now in the process of legally changing my name back to my birth name. I’m tired of running.
I don’t believe in regrets, but I do have them. I regret not being brave enough to just be a masculine woman from the start. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body. The healthcare I received felt like a live experiment; my doctors never fully explained all the effects and health risks, and they certainly didn’t prepare me for the possibility of detransition. The system is not set up to help you if you change your mind.
Now, my focus is on my health and learning to love myself as I am. My body is slowly refeminizing, and that gives me hope. My mind feels clearer without the synthetic hormones. I’m trying to move forward, embracing the fact that I am a human female, and that’s okay.
Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
---|---|---|
15-16 | ~2012 | Started feeling gender dysphoric, began pursuing transition. |
16-17 | ~2013 | Officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria, referred to a gender clinic. |
17 | ~2014 | Started taking testosterone. |
20 | ~2017 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
22 | 2019 (Mid-year) | Stopped testosterone after over 4 years of use. |
22 | 2019 (Late) | Began the process of legally reverting my name and sex marker. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Souf1duh:
I don't see any reason why you would regret desisting/detransitioning, especially being pre-T and pre-op. If you still desperately want to transition later in life (after you've had therapy exploring your gender dysphoric feelings) then you'll still have that option as a last resort... I would be more worried about regretting transitioning.
Matters like your name and passport are fickle in the big picture. There's no rush to changing any of that back either. I must've spent £300-400 on name change, passports, ID's and legal sex change. As much of a hassle it is, I'm in no rush to change it back because that's not what's important. What matters is your health and your self perception.
Have you ever received any therapy, are you in therapy now??
I love Buck for this. He is the only one talking about this and I have always said that.
My paediatric endo just told me I would have a deepened voice and facial hair and the gender clinician was content with me just saying that "I've read about the effects online". Live experiments. I wish I had known about every effect. Did they even know at that time?
It looks like its up to us and the elder trans people to talk about this stuff, as it will go straight over the kids heads. They're more worried about "having a jawline that could kill" or "baby smooth skin". This is very serious and it's only a matter of time before everything crashes and burns quite honestly.
"Assigned sex/gender at birth" is something that's been rightly used for intersex people. TRA's have appropriated the phrase to further their delusions in their own biology. When I identified as transsexual I never used this term. Every year the trans community becomes more and more far gone and it's reinforced by these crazy classifications and laws coming into effect.
The first thing I need to know is what this condition is exactly
Sounds to me his condition is being a kid... If every kid who said these kinds of things had gender identity disorder then a large majority of the population would be. Don't read too much into it and he'll more than likely forget about it. Show him that he should be proud of who he is.
The trans radical activists will try and pressure parents like yourself into experimenting on their kids with body/mind altering drugs and surgeries but won't be around when things go wrong.
Yes definitely. Although I completely passed I wasn't satisfied. There was no escaping my female skeletal structure. At first I thought in the future I could get further surgeries on my brow ridge, jaw etc. and even height adjustment to fix this... Extremely unhealthy and frightening looking back at how far I was willing to go, all to really realise that I'm female and always will be.
Once you truly come to this realisation, it's likely you'll feel a big weight off of your shoulders and start to embrace who you really are. No more trying to prove anything.
I'm really sick of the terms "TERF", "transphobia" and "hate" getting thrown around, it's beyond silly... Defamatory I might add! To be supportive does not always mean blowing sunshine up people's rear ends... I don't know about y'all but I want to know the truth, not what I want to hear.
That's lovely to hear. I'm detransitioning after years of hormones and chest surgery and even I've recently decided to legally go back to my birth name (I wasn't going to at first). The name my parents gave me when I was a baby girl. I'm tired of running and it does feel liberating after making the decision!
So you desisted once before. Why don't you feel your brain lines up with your body?? A lot of women want to present masculine, it's perfectly normal. I would recommend using the money you're considering spending on hormones/surgery on some non-biased therapy so you can get to the root of any potential issues. It doesn't sound like sex dysphoria at all to be honest, it sounds like you want to appear more androgynous.
All I really want is a sharper jawline, sideburns, smaller hips, and maybe a deeper voice
You can get close to sideburns by shaving the sides of your head and getting it shaped up by a hairdresser/barber. The rest you can get by working out.
There are a lot more problems that come with cross-sex hormones than vaginal atrophy and hair loss. It's not worth it just to appear more masculine. It's a whole different beast and you can't pick and choose which effects you have. You're not even guaranteed to get the effects you listed!
High levels of testosterone are not good for our bodies and it will work against you... keep your health.
I was asleep, not present, not aware, dissociated when it happened. And now I’m awake and trying to put the pieces back together.
Great point. It is truly a tragedy what is being done to young women. A lot of the time I'll try to convince myself that I feel fine about my mastectomy; its more practical, I like the aesthetic with my clothes on... But really I wouldn't change a thing if I went back in time... The scars in my mind are just as permanent as the two scars across my chest. It is possible for things to get better, as long as the focus isn't kept on it
This is not a transition sub. I don't know who you are but you've got the wrong end of the stick. Most of us left "desired goals" in appearance to whether we look male/female at the door when we decided to de transition. It's not a competition and not something to glamorise. A lot of us also like to keep our faces private.
Who are you and why are you so interested in seeing what we look like on this sub?