This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user identifies as a desister (someone who stopped identifying as trans without medically transitioning), which is consistent with their stated experience. Their language is nuanced, personal, and shows a deep, evolving understanding of the subject matter, including references to therapy, philosophy, and personal history. The passion and occasional frustration expressed are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister perspective.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, when I hated the changes in my body and the pressure to be a certain kind of girl. I later identified as non-binary, which felt like an escape from these pressures, but I realized my feelings were deeply tangled with past trauma and body dysmorphia. Somatic therapy helped me understand that my distress was rooted in my nervous system's response to stress, not my actual sex. I also had to unpack internalized misogyny that made me feel being a woman was lesser. Now I am fully detransitioned and live comfortably as a woman, grounded in a deeper understanding and acceptance of myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender was a long and confusing one, but I’ve finally found a place of peace with myself. I was born female, and for a long time, I didn't feel at home in that reality. A lot of my struggle came from the discomfort I felt during puberty. I hated developing breasts and the sudden pressure to be a certain type of girl. I felt like I didn't fit the mold, and that created a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem.
Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was deeply influenced by online communities and the friends I had at the time. We were all immersed in this ideology that presented transition as the solution to these deep feelings of not belonging. I started identifying as non-binary, which felt like a way to step outside of the problems I had with being a woman. It was like a "getaway car," a concept I really relate to. I used different ideologies—whether it was social justice, veganism, or gender theory—as vehicles to try and find a solid identity.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries, so I am still physically intact and fertile. My transition was entirely social. But even that had a huge impact on my life. I now see that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. I have a history of trauma and I struggle with body dysmorphic disorder, and I think my dysphoria was deeply intertwined with that. It was a high-thinking, anxious state, a way of over-analyzing my body and my place in the world.
What really helped me was non-affirming therapy, specifically somatic therapy. Instead of trying to talk my way out of my problems (top-down), it focused on tuning into my body's physical experience (bottom-up). This was life-changing for me. It helped me understand that a lot of my discomfort was rooted in my nervous system's response to stress and trauma, not in my actual sex. I also benefited from exploring different philosophies, like Buddhist principles of attachment and the Stoic concept of 'amor fati'—learning to love my fate and accept my life as it is.
I also had to unpack a lot of internalized stuff. Someone once asked me if I thought men were superior, and I realized that a part of my desire to escape being a woman was because I had subconsciously absorbed the message that being a woman was lesser. I had to realize I could be a ‘woman’ without all the misogynistic and traditionalist baggage that came with the word. It was like after my religious trauma, I had to unpack the word ‘god’ to find its essence. Realizing that was incredibly empowering.
I don’t regret exploring my gender because it was a necessary part of my journey to self-knowledge. It led me to ask the hard questions and ultimately circle back to a deeper understanding of myself as a female person. I’ve come to appreciate my roots again, but with a much richer understanding. My only real regret is that I didn't have healthy, masculine female role models to look up to when I was younger. I think seeing confident butch lesbians or tomboys would have shown me that I could be me without having to change who I am.
Now, I just see myself as a woman. I don't subscribe to any gender ideology. I believe I was born female, and that is my sex. Everything else is just a framework I no longer relate to. I feel like I’ve finally gotten out of the getaway car and am now walking on my own two feet, much more intentional and grounded in who I truly am.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12-13 | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort with my developing body and hated my breasts. |
| 18-19 | Went to university; was heavily influenced by online friends and communities; began identifying as non-binary as a form of escapism. |
| 20-22 | Fully immersed in gender ideology; used they/them pronouns and changed my name socially. |
| 25 | Began to seriously question my identity after experiencing the limits of talk therapy; started somatic therapy. |
| 26 | Had major realizations about the root of my dysphoria being linked to trauma and body dysmorphia; began the process of detransitioning socially. |
| 27 (Now) | Fully detransitioned; living comfortably as a woman with a deeper understanding of myself and my past. |
Top Comments by /u/Sparkletrashunicorn:
Holy shit this was just such an excellent & clear summary of so many things. Like thank you for this post.
A big part of what helps me in this community is having my thoughts parsed out and clarified because so much of what’s out there in the current social climate is just a convoluted clusterfuck of incoherence, gaslighting (legitimate, not just the buzzword) and contradictory illogical mess.
It’s all so webbed together and circular- this was so helpful to read cause it’s hard to put words and proper sentences to these phenomena. You articulated it soooo well.
It’s really interesting that you suggest that cause it did occur to me to want to quietly share with management some articulation of how this stuff isn’t as straightforward & how it’s more about ideology these days which some people aren’t proponents of. Sharing some of my story could definitely help bring that home. Luckily not much is forced for now but who knows the company may try to push the pronouns on name tags etc. Thanks for the suggestion
Thank you for sharing this as I’m sure it’s been very confusing and it can be stressful ‘going back’ on a part of of identity that much of one’s self perception has been crafted. I’m so glad to hear you have a great supportive friend to help you through it. I love that in the other comment you distinguished between being ‘nice’ and being ‘kind’ as there is such a lack of understanding on the differences in society at present.
Keep questioning and being okay with not knowing the answers- the important part is that you’re willing to explore and be open with yourself which is a very valuable character trait in itself. By continuing the questioning it’ll hopefully keep leading you towards the root of your self esteem issues and what drove you to have to frame yourself as non-binary in order to feel like you / accept yourself. Wishing you luck on your self journey! 🌿
Solid vent. Was cathartic to read. I appreciate where ppl come from when they try to explain / logic about it but sometimes you just gotta rant it out. I’m trying to accept that a lot of this is gunna be apart of our culture for a long time and to not get so annoyed cause I too used to be zealously into the ideology but sometimes I’m just like omg can this stuff just fuck off hahaha
Omg this post is such a relief to see & read. Saw that other post too& I’ve been pondering about posting something here too w non-binary but was worried it would get ppl mad.
IMO non-binary is a counter-culture and logically it doesnt escape the binary at all because it inherently relies on the binary to inform what it is. By being counter to the binary, it is still related to the binary; it’s not a separate concept of its own. Ppl vehemently insist on this identity without realizing that they are still informing their identity via the binary. It’s so frustrating not to mention the inherent sexism built into it.
I fully agree that what would be considered true non-binary is androgyny but that doesn’t stop the person from being their sex. And it’s sad that sex denialism is so wrapped up in being non-binary; just because you don’t ‘feel’ female/male doesnt mean you aren’t.
The worlds in such a weird position now cause there’s no going back to what was, even detransitioners pose a problem to the ‘norm’ (I mean that in a neutral way, not negatively reflecting on detransitioners - theyre victims to so much). Idek whats gunna happen with all the gender stuff moving forward cause now there’s so many ways for ppl the be questioned for their actual sex, it’s all just screwy
This is a very under-appreciated motivation for transitioning / identifying out of being a woman!! I had someone ask me if I thought men were superior & my answer was pretty much what you just said. Happy for you that you’re having all these powerful realizations! You’re asking yourself some really great questions
Yeah exactly like nobody would ever know that about me unless I told them - detransitioners deffs have it harder than me as a desister. It’s not so much about being cordial, I’m definitely cordial & even like this person so wouldn’t want to do something to make them feel bad, which is why I get more aware cause I don’t want to ‘slip up’ - the whole pronoun anxiety thing & how the trans community calls it violence to misgender. Mostly I just use names instead of pronouns when I can.
My struggle is more so feeling the weight of the weirdness of being outside of the ideology and trying to figure out how to navigate the world when the ideology is being put in my face even if I’m trying to stay away from thinking about it. And the harshness & judgment that comes with not agreeing with / adopting the same beliefs and thinking. That make sense?
I know what you mean it’s closer to a neo-religion because of the lack of leader but so much of the other stuff is there. And with religions there can always be sects or offshoots that turn into cults. No matter what it is bizarre & im wondering if there’s a term yet to be coined for this kind of thing cause nothing seems to sum up these phenomena fully
Perhaps you’d prefer removal but I’d also suggest looking into coverups, if it’s possible with your tattoo of course. It’s a whole other type of art from and gives u the opportunity to transform what no longer serves you into something new and enriching. I’ve done that with a few already to either make some tattoos more private or updated. Had an Om one covered so ppl didn’t assume I was appropriating, as it truly was deeply meaningful & I knew the meaning. Gunna get my ‘herbivore’ one covered up soon as I’m no longer vegan after ed recovery & feel weird being associated with it as it doesn’t apply. Do what feels best for you though, just my 2 cents :)