This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is highly consistent, nuanced, and personal over a long period. They share detailed experiences of desisting, internal struggles with body image and misogyny, and offer empathetic, specific advice to others. The passion and occasional anger align with the stated context of someone harmed by these issues. The arguments are complex and show a deep, long-term engagement with the topic, which is difficult to fake.
About me
I'm a masculine woman who once identified as trans because I hated my developing female body and felt trapped by society's awful stereotypes about women. I was deeply dysphoric and would have gotten surgery as a teenager, but I'm so grateful I didn't. What helped me most was life experience, loving partners who were attracted to me as I was, and meeting other women who weren't feminine. I realized my discomfort was rooted in puberty and misogyny, not in being the wrong sex, and I grew to radically accept myself. I now live a happy, fulfilling life in peace with the body I was born with.
My detransition story
My whole experience with gender started when I was a kid. I really wanted to be a boy. That feeling got even worse as a teenager. I had what felt like strong dysphoria; I hated parts of my body, especially my breasts and my hips. It felt like my developing body was a target that became harder to conceal every day. I think a lot of that came from being sexualized by peers and adult men. I hated being made to feel like my body was more theirs than mine.
I looked around and the messages about women were awful—that they were sexy, stupid, objects, bitches, sluts, and prudes. I wasn't any of that. I was just a person. A normal, intelligent, empathetic person. But it felt like my experiences, feelings, and ideas were immediately written off as irrelevant because I was a woman. I thought being a woman meant being emotional, irrational, and a little incapable. And I wasn't that. Eventually, it felt easier to escape womanhood than to try and redefine it for all women.
For a while, I identified as trans. I thought the only thing that made me different from guys was my body. I would have gotten top surgery at 16 if I could have. I'm so glad now that I didn't, because by 18 I would have regretted it deeply.
What changed for me was time and life experience. Around 18, my body changed a lot naturally, and I started having partners and traveling with a women's organization. That was a huge turning point. Having sex and loving partners was a big factor for me. It helped me come to terms with my attraction to women, my perceived lack of femininity, and my confidence. Starting my sexual life changed my view on my body and helped my dysphoria more than anything else. I was disgusted with my body because my sexuality intimidated me and made me feel vulnerable.
My then-boyfriend was attracted to me as a woman, not as a stereotype of femininity. He was very open with me being butch—not shaving, no makeup, and wearing all men's clothes. It made me see that my sex and sexuality exist regardless of gender roles and stereotypes. I met women who weren't feminine, and it helped me realize I didn't need to change my body or personality to match a stereotype. He made me feel way more comfortable with my body, and I didn't feel like I needed to follow beauty standards to feel attractive.
I grew out of the body dysphoria with time. I fell back in love with my feminine body. I realized that my personality, my mind, my likes are not based on my gender. I don't need to be feminine to be a woman. I'm a woman, just a masculine one. A lot of what I like is stereotypically assigned to men, but in reality, people of both sexes enjoy those things. My hair, my clothes, my nickname, my hobbies belong to a woman. If men also like those things, that's great, but it doesn't change who I am.
What helped me most was accepting that being a woman was more of an unavoidable truth than an identity. I was just what I was. My looks wouldn't change as a man, and my personality wouldn't either. It was about radical self-acceptance. Instead of working on building an alternative persona, I just built myself up. I worked on the flaws I disliked about myself, without avoiding them.
I live a happy and fulfilling life now. But I never had puberty blockers or HRT, and I am so grateful for that. I see now that medical transition is a gruesome, exhausting process. It's uncomfortable and it takes years, with no guaranteed results. I think the community makes transition feel like a life-or-death choice that needs to be taken ASAP, leaving no place for questions or regret.
I do have regrets about even considering transition. I regret the years I spent hating my body and wanting to change it. I regret that I ever thought the solution was to become something I'm not. But I don't regret the journey because it led me to where I am now—a place of acceptance and peace.
My thoughts on gender are that it's a social construct that can't contain the complexity of the human experience. Literally, every person in the world experiences gender outside of the two modals. Every man and woman is unique. Woman is what I am, not a role I need to perform. Femininity isn't hairlessness or cleavage. The beauty and sensuality of my body are not dependent on the parts of women's bodies that have been hypersexualized.
I benefited from realizing that my discomfort was rooted in puberty discomfort, internalized misogyny, and the pressures of a misogynistic society. I was influenced online by communities that offered escape but not realistic solutions. I now believe that the way to fix the oppression women face is to accept the reality and get together to change it, not to jump ship and stop associating with women.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Really wanted to be a boy. |
| Teen years (14-18) | Dysphoria got worse. Hated my breasts and hips. Felt sexualized and alienated by my developing female body. Identified as trans and would have gotten top surgery at 16. |
| 18 | My body changed naturally. Started having partners and traveling. Began to fall back in love with my feminine body. Met masculine women and realized I didn't need to change my body. My partner helped me feel comfortable and desirable as a butch woman. |
| 18+ | Grew out of dysphoria completely. Learned to radically accept myself as a masculine woman. Now live a happy and fulfilling life without any medical intervention. |
Top Comments by /u/Specialist-Opening-2:
I mean, a few years ago there was an explosion of trans ftm teens. Most mtf were older and a lot of them transition because of their sexuality. Transwomen who like men and aim to pass as women.
Ftm teens mostly tried to escaped the whole being mistreated because they are women in a misogynistic society. And it's pretty shit when you realize misogynistic men don't give a fuck about your identity and as long as people can tell you're female, then you'll deal with sexism. So I feel like it's easier for us to desist.
This is not to generalize, tho, just some trends observed.
And also, they go on and on how it's unethical to purchase HP merch because it supports transphobic organizations. When most of JK Rowling's donations go towards her charity org for children and to help women. Oh, and the transphobic org she "supports" are one lesbian group and a LGB organization. So she's homophobic because she thinks lesbians should be allowed to have lesbian spaces to talk about lesbianism.
I think the short hair suits you because your short curls frame your face. But I don't really see any difference in appearance otherwise and I don't think the gender you identified as is the differentiating factor. Like, whatever you liked about your appearance you can still use it/do it. You don't need to be trans for anything
Tbh, gender is one of those things you can put a pin on and decide later on. You have the body you have. But you can do whatever you want in it. Wear the clothes, the makeup the heels. Shave your head, paint your nails. Do anything and everything. And I'm a few years, if you feel strong dysphoria, then you can revisit it.
I would've gotten top surgery at 16 if I could. By 18 I would've regretted it. If it's for you, the option will be there later. Explore your options. Even if down the line you realise it's what you want, it won't be an instant fix to your issues. Take it slow, experience life, see if something makes you feel better. You don't need to choose now. I'd discourage a tattoo at 16, and top surgery has bigger consequences. Just put it on pause for now if you aren't sure about it. Even if you were sure about it I'd recommend to wait, you're quite young, give yourself a couple of years to think about what you want.
Yeah, I desisted cause my then boyfriend has attracted to me as a woman, not as a stereotype of femininity. He was very open with me being butch af, not shaving, no make up, and wearing all men clothes. It made me see my sex and sexuality exist regardless of gender roles and stereotypes.
It's fine to feel lost. That's just how it is sometimes. But you look healthier. And your hair is cool, I like your aesthetic. It's cool to see you have no interest in presenting more femenine. It suits you. I hope people gendering you as a guy doesn't bother you. But you do look comfortable in your style, so I hope it doesn't push you to change it.
Maybe the person you are now is not the easiest one for people to get, or even yourself. But that doesn't mean you need to change it.
That's my issue with people who say it's exclusionary to not date trans women as a lesbian or straight guy. Sexuality has to do with sex. You say straight men will pursue an average looking cis girl instead of a gorgeous transgirl. The same holds true for a gay guy, that will rather pursue a moderately attractive man, than a gorgeous woman. Some people won't be sexually attracted to you, not because of your looks, but because of their sexuality.
Literally every person in the world experiences gender outside of the two modals. Because they are social constructs that cannot and do not contain the complexity of the human experience and the uniqueness of identity. Every man and woman on the world experiences that.
Because being a woman still sucks, even if you retransition. We are oppressed because of our sex, not our chosen identity. And the way to fix it, is to accept the reality women face, and get together to change, not jump ship and stop associating with women.