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Reddit user /u/SpiritedCat3844's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16
male
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
heterosexual
This story is from the comments by /u/SpiritedCat3844 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally consistent, and complex, spanning personal medical history, psychological trauma, social consequences, and a nuanced, evolving perspective on gender. The language is natural, with personal anecdotes and specific opinions that align with the passionate and often angry viewpoints found in the detrans community. The account describes itself as a detransitioned femboy, which is a valid desister identity.

About me

I was a happy, feminine boy until people online convinced me I must be a trans woman. I started hormones at 18, which caused severe health problems and a dysphoria I never had before. The transition made me suicidal and left me with permanent physical damage. Now I've detransitioned and am healing, finally living as a feminine man with my supportive girlfriend. I regret ever transitioning, but I'm learning to be proud of who I always was.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was the most difficult and painful experience of my life. It started when I was a teenager. I was a feminine boy, what some people call a femboy, and I was happy with that. But I didn't feel accepted. People, both online and in real life, started pushing me to see myself as trans. They’d say things like, "A femboy interested in women is just an oppressed trans lesbian," or that my feminine interests meant I was really a woman. This "egg culture" made me feel like transitioning was the only logical step. I was also struggling with some internalized homophobia; I wasn't gay, but I had a sick idea that being a trans lesbian was somehow "less gay" and more acceptable than being a straight, feminine man. So, I thought it would be easier to become a woman than to be accepted for who I really was.

I started socially transitioning at 16. Everyone was suddenly so supportive, telling me, "Yes, you've always been feminine, I get it." But they were wrong. I had always been a feminine man, not a woman, and those are two completely different things. At 18, I started taking hormones—estrogen and anti-androgens. That’s when everything went downhill. I never had gender dysphoria before I transitioned; I started to understand what it really was because of the transition. The hormones made me feel like I was turning into a woman, but I am a man, so it created a horrible dysphoria I never had before. I became cruel to others and incredibly self-destructive. I was never suicidal until I transitioned; it sent me into a deep depression and made me suicidal. It was a nightmare.

The physical effects were dangerous too. I had three thrombotic events, like blood clots, because of the hormones. I was obsessed with having extremely high estrogen levels and crushing my testosterone to zero, as if it were a competition with my trans friends. We were all comparing hormone levels, which was so stupid and dangerous. I came very close to getting irreversible surgery, but I somehow managed to stop myself in time. I feel like I was brainwashed for years, helpless against everyone telling me to continue.

When I finally detransitioned, it was really hard. My body was damaged. I had developed breast tissue from the estrogen that caused me intense dysphoria. I felt so ashamed I ended up getting breast reduction surgery. My hormone levels were a mess; I had a severe testosterone deficiency and had to take testosterone gel under a doctor's care to get back to normal. Even now, I get my levels checked every few months to make sure I'm okay. I also think the transition made me infertile, or at least, doctors can't guarantee that there wouldn't be problems if I tried to have children, which is scary.

My views on gender have completely changed. I don't really believe in gender identity anymore. I feel I belong to the male sex because I was born that way, but my identity is just me. Gender is irrelevant to me now. I’m a non-conforming man, and I’m proud of that. I’m back to being a femboy, which is who I always was. The best thing that happened after detransitioning was finding my girlfriend. She is very feminine and loves my sensitivity. With her, I can truly be myself. I come home and we cuddle for what feels like forever, and that’s when I’m truly happy.

I have a lot of regrets about transitioning. It destroyed me physically and mentally, and I don't recommend it to anyone. I think for most people, feelings of discomfort during adolescence would resolve on their own if they weren't affirmed as being trans. Now, I'm even working with a lawyer to sue the doctors for malpractice. I think what's happening with transition today will be seen as the lobotomy of our times. Life after detransition is still hard. At work, where many of my colleagues are trans, I'm often accused of being transphobic for just speaking my mind. I've lost friends, and some people even accuse me of being a "TERF" or a "trans without the courage to continue." But despite all that, I'm much happier now, living as the man I am.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
16 Started social transition (MtF).
18 Began taking estrogen and anti-androgens.
18-? Experienced severe health complications, including three thrombotic events. Became suicidal.
? Detransitioned socially and medically. Stopped hormones.
? Diagnosed with severe testosterone deficiency and began testosterone replacement therapy.
? Underwent breast reduction surgery to address gynecomastia from estrogen.
Present Living as a detransitioned, feminine man (femboy). Continues to monitor hormone levels.

Top Reddit Comments by /u/SpiritedCat3844:

71 comments • Posting since July 24, 2024
Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) comments on a teenage MtF user's post, identifying it as a classic case of autogynophilia and advising against forced detransition to avoid future trauma.
41 pointsAug 11, 2024
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Classic case of MtF caused by autogynophilia, you are the most common case...

I don't think a forced detransition can be positive, it could cause trauma that leads to wanting to obsessively seek medical transition later.

These things should be handled very calmly.

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains his medical malpractice lawsuit, comparing harmful gender-affirming care to the "lobotomy of the new times."
35 pointsAug 15, 2024
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I am working with my lawyer to sue the doctors who made malpractice on me, I think it is something we should all do who have suffered similar harmful behavior from doctors to put an end to this scandal.

I think that in the long run this will be the "lobotomy" of the new times.

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains the social pressure and accusations of transphobia he faces for detransitioning and living as a man.
28 pointsAug 17, 2024
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It's really so tiring... Honestly I should probably live as a cis man, forget about everything and never talk about what happened to me but I struggle to do that because I hope to help someone who is suffering from the same condition as me.

I have people IRL accusing me of becoming a TERF because they can't accept that I'm a man, it would be ironic if it didn't hurt me every time.

Even at work it's a constant stress that if I say something (even totally unrelated) I'm accused of being transphobic, I'm in a fucking company where there's practically a cult.

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains that puberty blockers are not reversible after a short time, making a true puberty restart impossible, and discusses the need for external testosterone if the body cannot produce it.
27 pointsSep 17, 2024
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Unfortunately, puberty blockers are not reversible until a very short time after starting therapy.

Restarting true puberty is impossible but once your testosterone levels are normal you should experience physical changes

Is your body capable of producing testosterone? Otherwise you need to take it externally

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains how "egg culture" pushed him toward a risky MtF transition, citing specific affirmations like being told a straight femboy is actually a "trans lesbian."
26 pointsAug 12, 2024
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This fucking "egg culture" is one of the reasons why I risked permanently screwing up my life...

"You're not straight femboy, you still have to hatch the egg"

"Sometimes you dress more masculine than other days because you suffer from gender dysphoria"

"If you like women and like to dress femininely it means you are a trans lesbian"

These are all affirmations I received online and irl during the weakest period of my life when I began the MtF transition...

Someone even told me "A femboy interested in women is just an oppressed trans lesbian who will always remain unhappy". Lol a lesbian relationship is totally different, some of these propaganda people can't understand that 🤣.

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) comments on the irreversibility of medical transition, expressing fear about potential fetal malformations and feeling like a "guinea pig" after being told the process was reversible.
25 pointsJul 27, 2024
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My exam is also “acceptable”, however I am afraid of possible problems of malformations in the fetus.

All the professionals I contacted told me that they cannot affirm it but neither can they deny it, so yes we are all guinea pigs.

But of course “the transition is 100% reversible,” they said. 🙄

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) discusses feeling marginalized by both trans and cis communities for his opposition to medical transition.
24 pointsAug 8, 2024
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Well, many trans people hate me because for them I'm a "trans without the courage to continue", "a femboy egg" and in general I think badly of me because I'm strongly against transition in any case (I'm not interested in banning it or trying to force people not to do it but you'll never make me say it's ok for me it's just harmful).

Cis men think I'm trans, gay, or some weirdo for whatever reason, I have a few friends that I get along with and I don't have to hide, luckily I have my girlfriend who always supports me.

I'm pretty fed up and I think that the more we go on the more people like me will find themselves marginalized because of the trans movement (probably most of them are well-intentioned but still..).

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains why parents shouldn't limit a gender-questioning son, as his own lack of acceptance led him to transition and self-harm.
23 pointsSep 9, 2024
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I would say don’t try to stop him and don’t force him to make a final decision about his identity.

If I had been free to express my gender non-conformity I would never have become trans and I would not have harmed myself for so many years.

The worst thing you can do is try to limit him, this will increase the intention to become a trans woman as he will not feel accepted as a man.

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) warns a 15-year-old against medical transition, sharing his experience with medical complications, mental health decline, and being pressured by professionals.
20 pointsJul 26, 2024
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You're only 15! Explore your identity without limits and prejudices but stay away from gender transition and affirmation.

I started transitioning at 16 and took hormones at 18, everything was wrong and the "professional" doctors forced me to make a transition that wasn't for me.

In addition to huge medical problems I had (3 thrombotic events) the transition destroyed my mind, I was never suicidal until the transition.

These are fucking nasty things, the transition is not a game and it is irreversible (yes you can detransition but you don't go back exactly as before).

Take your time, live your puberty (I know it can be terrible sometimes...) freely without constraints then when you are an adult you will decide what to do.

Stay strong!

Reddit user SpiritedCat3844 (detrans male) explains how detransitioning allowed him to embrace his femininity as a proud, non-conforming man.
20 pointsAug 21, 2024
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I detransitioned and maintained my femininity (which I also had before transition), being a man does not mean being a stereotype of a man.

I'm a non-gender conforming man and I'm proud of it, I actually have more "femininity" now because I'm calmer and don't have to force myself to be a woman.

The problem is what do you mean by "femininity".