This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, internally consistent, and emotionally nuanced over many months of posting. They describe a specific, complex personal journey of a desister (a female who socially transitioned to non-binary for nearly a decade due to Autism and social pressures, but never medically transitioned) with recurring themes of regret, self-reflection, and relief. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine trauma and strong opinions found in the detrans community. The account does not exhibit the patterns of a scripted bot or a troll.
About me
I started identifying as nonbinary in college because I wanted to fit in and mistook my Autism and frustration with gender roles for being a different gender. For nine years, I cycled through labels and pronouns, all while feeling like a complete fraud. I became an angry and confused person, even hiding my real interests, and I'm so grateful I never took testosterone. I finally accepted last year that I am just a woman, and telling my family was a huge relief. Now I'm happier and less stressed, finally embracing being female.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started in my late teens, when I was in college. A person I knew came out as trans, and I think I wanted to fit in with them and my other LGBTQ+ friends. Around that same time, I started to believe that I was nonbinary. I now realize I was lying to myself.
I am Autistic, and I began to mistake my Autistic traits for a sign that I was a different gender. I had sensory issues, especially with shaving my body hair, that I thought were dysphoria. I’ve always had a hard time understanding societal norms and cues, which made social rules about being a woman confusing and frustrating for me. I also had a lot of teenage anger and rebellion against traditional gender roles and what I saw as double standards. I combined all of that and decided it meant I couldn't be a woman.
I never had any gender dysphoria as a child. I was actually a pretty girly girl growing up. I never questioned my gender until that point in college. For about nine years, I identified as nonbinary. I went through so many different labels—nonbinary, then genderqueer, then demigirl, then girlflux. My pronouns changed constantly too, from she/her to they/them, to neopronouns, to she/they. It was exhausting and deeply confusing. The whole time, I had this nagging feeling that I was a fraud. Whenever I told people I was nonbinary, it felt like I was lying.
This period of my life made me an angrier, more stressed, and more confused person. I became difficult to be around for my friends and family. I even felt like I had to hide my genuine feminine interests to fit into the nonbinary community, which was really isolating. I briefly considered taking testosterone for a few weeks, but I am so immensely grateful I never made an appointment or went through with it. I know I would be miserable now if I had.
The only permanent change I made was changing my name. I had always hated my birth name, Megan; it never felt like me. So during this time, I started going by Sage socially and then legally changed it in 2016. I still love the name Sage and have no regrets about changing it, though I sometimes feel bad that it confuses my older relatives who still call me Megan.
I started to realize it was all a mistake in 2021, but I didn't fully accept that I was just a woman until late 2024. The first step was finally accepting that it's okay to be female. There's nothing wrong with being a woman. I talked about detransitioning online first, and then I told my best friend, who was supportive. Telling my mom and my trans brother was a huge relief; they were both understanding. My mom was actually happy and relieved, as she had been confused by my nonbinary identity all along and knew I would eventually come back to myself.
I don't regret changing my name, but I do regret the nine years I spent socially transitioned. I feel like I wasted my late teens and most of my twenties being angry, confused, and stressed. I regret not listening to my mom, my brother, and my friends who tried to gently tell me that it was okay to be a woman.
Now, I am so much happier. I'm less stressed, no longer confused, and I can finally embrace being a biological female. I don't believe nonbinary is a real gender identity; for me, it was a lie I told myself based on a misunderstanding of my Autism and social anger. I'm just a woman, and that's perfectly fine.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | 2015 | Started identifying as nonbinary in college after a friend came out as trans. Began using they/them pronouns. |
| 19 | 2016 | Legally changed name from Megan to Sage. |
| 18-27 | 2015-2024 | Identified as nonbinary. Cycled through various labels (nonbinary, genderqueer, demigirl, girlflux) and pronouns (they/them, neopronouns, she/they). |
| 27 | 2021 | Started to first realize I might not be nonbinary. |
| 30 | 2024 | Fully accepted I am a woman and detransitioned socially. Came out to friends and family. |
Top Comments by /u/SpocksAshayam:
I also would have been angry about this years ago when I was identifying as nonbinary. Now, I’m so happy that this happened because unless there is a genuine medical emergency, minors do not need gender-related surgeries or hormones at all until they are adults.
Yeah, I was similar about being misgendered during my young adult years through my twenties when I was identifying as nonbinary. It was exhausting and I cringe when I recall how I was back then. I’m a woman and always will be and no amount of thinking that I was a different gender will ever change that.
I’m annoyed that trans stuff is pushed onto people who are gender non-conforming and that trans stuff is pushed on the Autistic community (or at least seems common in the Autistic community) because it is very easy for people, Autistic or not, to get caught up in the trans ideology and believe stuff about themselves that isn’t true. I made this mistake myself. I’m Autistic and mistook Autistic sensory issues and my teenage anger at traditional gender roles for me being nonbinary when that was a lie that I believed and kept telling myself despite me feeling like a fraud when I was identifying as nonbinary. The trans community didn’t help because all they did was encourage me to believe I was trans/nonbinary even though I never experienced dysphoria at all and never wanted to transition other than a brief period. If I had gone through with taking cross-sex hormones, I would be miserable today.
Yeah, I wonder this as well. The gender ideology stuff has been out of hand for years now imo with all the millions of different gender and sexuality labels being created that are just not feasible and make no sense at all. I’m a desisted female who thought I was nonbinary for a long time and would try out different gender labels to find the right one when I was just lying to myself about not being the female that I was born as. I also used to use many different sexuality labels to figure that out as well when I’m simply bi-graysexual and biromantic. It doesn’t need to be so complicated.
I’m a desisted female as well and my mom was also right about me not being nonbinary and just being a girl. I did tell her that I am not nonbinary anymore and that she was tight all along and she accepted me and we’ll affectionately joke about my stupid nonbinary phase. Yeah, it was embarrassing at first, but it’ll work out!
Biological sex is an irrefutable fact and no amount of changing one’s secondary sex characteristics is going to change that, hence being a trans person. Being trans is fine. Pushing children to believe they are trans and to physically change themselves before puberty is not okay.
The nonsense that nonbinary is even a thing is absurd and needs to stop being pushed on others because it makes things more confusing than it needs to be. I used to think nonbinary was a legit gender and believed it for 9 years and was only denying reality: I’m a biological female. I never experience gender dysphoria and I was never diagnosed with gender dysphoria so I never medically transitioned at all.
Womanhood and manhood are the lived societal experiences of women and men respectively. Believing that womanhood and manhood can be experienced by everyone doesn’t make sense.
I feel regret for socially transitioning starting in my late teens and it last through my twenties. I got stuck in teenage/young adult anger and rebelliousness and so I feel that I neglected myself and learning more than I did about adulthood until my early thirties.
I agree with you! I’m a biological female, was raised as a female, never had any gender dysphoria ever, and yet I thought that I was nonbinary (I used to think that trans and nonbinary overlapped so that one can be both trans and nonbinary) for several years starting when I was in college. I started identifying as nonbinary after someone I know came out as trans, wanting to fit in with my lgbtq+ friends and person I know who is trans, and I also misinterpreted my Autistic sensory issues, Autism-related difficulties with societal norms, and my teenage/feminist/possibly Autism-related dislike of traditional gender roles with being a different gender. I am grateful that the only permanent thing I did was change my name which I had always wanted to do anyway since I had never connected with nor liked my birth name. I also used to believe that being “cis” was bad so I wanted to be something else other than that. This also made me an angrier person and was very stressful and confusing. I am much happier now that I have finally realized that it is okay to be my biological sex (female)!
I’m an Autistic woman and I used to identify as non-binary or genderqueer for a long time. For me, it was because I was mistaking my Autistic sensory issues with shaving, my then late teenage/young adult anger with traditional gender roles, and my Autistic difficulties with societal norms for being a different gender than my biological sex (female). I was young and dumb basically. Thankfully, I didn’t change my body because of it, so I am able to go back to being the female I was born as without issues on that front and can love myself and my body as a woman.
No, I do not consider myself trans at all since I have detransitioned since I did not alter my body in any way physically or medically when I thought I was trans/nonbinary. I am a biological female and I was just lying to myself about being anything other than a woman.