This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona. The comments show:
- Consistent personal narrative: The user's story (identifying as FTM for ~7 years, on hormones for ~2, detransitioning around age 19/20) is repeated with consistent details.
- Emotional depth and nuance: The language expresses complex, personal emotions like internalized misogyny, doubt, regret, and eventual self-acceptance, which is difficult to fabricate consistently.
- Engaged and supportive tone: The user offers specific, empathetic advice to others, drawing directly from their own lived experience.
The passion and strong opinions are consistent with someone who has undergone a difficult personal journey, not with an inauthentic account.
About me
I started identifying as a trans man at 12 after years of being bullied for not fitting in with other girls. I was on testosterone for two years and became completely obsessed with being seen as male. I canceled my top surgery at 19 because a deep feeling told me it was wrong, and I'm so glad I listened. Detransitioning lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and finally allowed me to just be myself. I'm learning to love my female body and understand that there is no right way to be a woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I was always treated differently by other girls and bullied. People told me I acted like a boy and that my interests were for boys; some people even mistook me for one. I think all of that treatment made me develop a lot of internalized misogyny. I started to believe that being a girl was a negative thing, that I was weak and that I would only be able to help or defend myself if I were a guy. I never felt like I was being a woman the "right" way, and I didn't even know what that word was supposed to feel like.
I identified as a trans man for seven years, from when I was about 12 until I was 19. During that time, I was constantly running from myself. I started taking testosterone when I was 17 and was on it for about two years. At first, it felt like a solution, like a band-aid that helped how I felt a little bit, but it didn't actually solve anything. I became completely obsessed with passing. I was always checking to see if people saw me as a man, and it consumed all my thoughts. I look back at pictures from that time and I look dead-eyed; I was not myself.
I was scheduled to get top surgery, but right before the date, I was having serious doubts. I had been having thoughts of "is this right for me" the entire time, but I tried to ignore them. I'm so glad I listened to that feeling in the end. I realized that those doubts were my subconscious trying to tell me something was wrong. I canceled the surgery and decided to detransition instead. I'm 20 now, and I detransitioned almost a year ago.
Detransitioning was the best decision I've ever made. The second I stopped, it was like a huge weight was lifted. I was finally able to focus on things other than my gender and how others perceived me. I’ve been learning to love myself for me, instead of trying to change everything to fit a version of me that I thought would be more acceptable. I’ve learned that there is no "right" way to be a woman; just being born female is enough. My body is broad and I have some muscle from the testosterone, but I don't really mind it. My goal is to be a "muscle mommy" now.
I did lose some family members when I detransitioned, but I've realized that if they weren't there for me when I needed them most, they aren't worth having in my life. My friends, on the other hand, have been amazing and supportive through it all.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret not dealing with my internal issues—the internalized misogyny, the low self-esteem, and the trauma from being bullied—instead of trying to escape from them through medical transition. I see transitioning as a form of running away and even self-harm, because you're perpetuating a cycle where you never feel good enough. You hold yourself to a standard you can never meet. For me, it wasn't self-love; it was the opposite.
My thoughts on gender now are that puberty is a really odd and difficult time for everyone, and your feelings can change a lot, even in a year. If you're young and having doubts, you have so much time to figure yourself out. I wish I could tell my younger self that running from your problems doesn't help in the long run. The real work is in learning to accept and love your body for what it is.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started identifying as a trans man (ftm). |
| 17 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 19 | Canceled planned top surgery due to doubts. Detransitioned. |
| 20 | Now, living as a detransitioned female, almost one year after detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/Springlocked_in:
I was on hormones for years and they’re right, I was obsessed with something I couldn’t achieve. I would constantly check if I ‘passed’ or if people thought I was the gender I wanted to present as. The second I detransitioned it’s like I was finally able to focus on anything other than if I passed/gender and how others viewed mine.
Thinking you’re stupid/weak is, like another comment said, internalized misogyny. I had a lot of those issues too when I was younger, thought I was weak and would only be able to help myself or defend myself if I was a guy. I’m 20 now, just detransitioned, and I have never felt better. Puberty is such an odd time in everyone’s life, and you’re still young, how you feel today about your gender will change even in a year.
Imo if you have ANY doubt over the surgery, don’t do it. You can always reschedule later but like. If you’re having doubts now I’d say you shouldn’t go through with it. I was in almost the exact same situation as you, and I was about to get top surgery, and I had been having doubts. Now I’m 7 months detrans and I’ve never been happier. I’m not saying that’s necessarily the right path for you, I’m just saying as someone who also opted out of being a woman very early; you have so much time to give yourself a chance of discovering who you are. Maybe forget about surgery for now and do some soul searching, see if you still ID as a man. Then see how you feel about everything else.
When I ID’d as trans I was not myself. I said I had never felt freer but I look back at every picture of me from when I was trans and I look dead eyed. Same goes for everyone else I have seen transition, none of them have life in their eyes anymore. I detransitioned and then it’s like everything actually got better; I was able to love myself a bit more day by day, learned to accept and love my body for what it is, because I wasn’t running or hiding from myself anymore. That’s what transitioning feels like, running from the actual root of the issue and hiding it away with hormones and surgeries. It’s not self love or acceptance in oneself to change literally everything about yourself, it’s self harm if anything. Perpetuating the cycle of ‘but I could look more like a woman/man if I did xyz’ isn’t going to help you in the long run, it’s tormenting yourself. You’re holding yourself up to a standard you may never meet.
I’m 19, I just recently went through the same thoughts as you, however I think it would be beneficial to remind yourself that if your friends were good friends and loved you for you, they won’t care about you telling them you’ve been thinking about detransitioning.
Also part of my family no longer talks to me as well, and I’d confidently say that if they’re not the people to be there for you when you needed them most, they’re not worth having around now that you’ve decided to try something else out.
I was scared my friends wouldn’t like me, and they have been some of the best people to be around for me since I detransitioned. I know how difficult all of this must be for you, and I hope things work out.
Same boat as you, I had a buzz cut 7 months ago, which was right before I realized I wasn’t trans. My hair’s growing slowly, but I’ve found looking for feminine ways to style shorter hair makes me feel better. Also eating food with gelatine can improve hair growth rates :))
If you’re having doubts, take that as your brain knowing something is not right. I’d advise not taking hormones, you’re causing a hormonal imbalance and it can do awful things to your body, humans were not made to thrive on cross sex hormones (there’s a reason people seek help if they’re female and have high testosterone/male and have high estrogen; it’s not healthy for you). I identified as trans (ftm) for 6 years, on hormones for 2, and then I was having doubts leading up to my top surgery date. I had thoughts of ‘is this right for me’ the entire time I identified as a man.
My entire childhood I was othered by girls, and treated differently/bullied, constantly told I acted like a boy, told my interests were that of a boys, some people even thought I was a boy. All of this maltreatment of a young girl created internalized misogyny; why would I like being a girl if people were just going to treat me like shit for simply being one and existing as one?
I never felt like a woman, my whole life I never knew what that word even entailed; I didn’t feel like I was being a woman the ‘right’ way. Turns out there is no right way, just being born this way is enough to be a woman.
It sounds like you have some internalized misogyny, a lot of ftm’s do and I do not blame anyone for seeking transitioning to hopefully lessen the feelings. If you feel disgusted by your own body, transitioning is not going to help you feel better, you’d just be running from yourself and you’d become a life long medical patient.
I’d heavily advise working on some of your views on why you think being a woman is so negative, and if it stems around how people have treated you in the past/how you feel gross being viewed as a woman, you have some internalized things you need to work on (and that’s okay, it’s okay to need to work on things).
Life, as much as people love to push for immediate change, is long. You have all the time in your life to figure things out. Why do something that could have long lasting negative effects first instead of trying to work out the internal stuff first?
I wish I could tell younger me that running from issues won’t help in the long run. Taking hrt was a bandaid, helped how I felt a bit but it didn’t actually solve anything. Took hrt for 2 years, identified as a trans man for 7 years, and in that entire time it always felt like nothing was ever enough. Like there needed to be more that I had to do to get people to see me how I wanted them to see me. I detransitioned almost a year ago and learning to love myself for me instead of trying to change how I look and act to fit a version of ‘me’ that would be more palatable for myself and others has been the best thing I could have done. I also had doubts pre transition, wondered if it was the right thing for me, imo any doubts you have are your subconscious trying to tell you something.
I took t for 2 ish years, I was broad before but it gave me more definition, definitely a bit more bulk but I have barely lost any muscle since having fully detransitioned. I don’t really mind it though, my goal is muscle mommy lol Hope you’re doing well too :)