Coming from a detrans woman, just because you like being feminine doesn’t mean your a woman. A lot of trans people get this twisted idea that if you dont fit into the gender roles assigned to your sex, that you cant be anything other than trans. Feminine men exist, men can wear feminine clothes, put makeup on, have long hair, etc. you “changing” your gender wont magically make you 100% female. I definitely feel like the main reason i detransitioned was because i thought that if i went on hormones and got surgeries that automatically the world would see me as male, that the misogyny and lesbophobia would go away. That since i wasnt a masculine female that people wouldn’t be disgusted in me.

Op, make the decision that is right for you, but im begging you to think about all the details, hell even watching videos of detransitioning males who had surgeries and hormones who regretted it! If by the end of it all you still feel the need to transition then by all means, go for it.

See op i think thats what a lot of transwomen don’t understand pre transition, hormones will only do so much for you. Those transwomen you see who might pass didnt get that way from hormones, but from countless surgeries. And i agree with @shesgotsauce, you wanting to become a woman just so you can be seen as soft and fragile is grossly wrong. You putting on a dress and taking hormones to look female doesn’t automatically make other people see/treat you as soft. Again, unless you are the lucky few that are able to pass fully as female on hormones, most people will just see you as a transwoman, not just a woman. Again in my opinion op, I think that you should maybe try and find peace with your femininity without hormones. Hearing you talk about not relating to feminine men, but relating to transwomen reminds me of me. Again, not wanting to be seen as a masculine woman because i was afraid of being one so instead i would be a transman. Do you think that maybe your distancing yourself from feminine men because of some deeper issues? Like perhaps family/friends find feminine men weird, hence why you think if you were a transwoman instead of a feminine man that they would feel different? And another question, if hormones don’t make you this “soft and fragile” person…then what? You’ve just taken hormones and changed your body for nothing. Again this is all just questions id suggested asking yourself before transitioning.

Im in the same boat of feeing hesitant to tell my family. Best advice i can give is that at some point (if you choose to socially present as female) they will notice. So instead of dragging on the inevitable, just come clean. Let them know that although you thought transitioning was for you, you no longer feel that way. I assure you that theres most likely nothing to worry about. It could do more good actually, they could make you feel better about your decision/help you feel more confident in being a woman.

If you don’t feel good about yourself or your appearance, that is a completely valid reason to stop. Why continue something that doesn’t make you feel comfortable? You don’t owe anyone a better explanation than simply not wanting to transition anymore. Just do what’s going to make you the happiest op, this is your life and you shouldn’t feel guilt in the decisions you make to better it.

I’ve been through the same bullshit for 3 years OP and let me tell you, regardless of your decisions you shouldn’t have been treated like that. These people should’ve expressed their opinions in calm ways, threatening to kick you out and treating you badly wasn’t appropriate. That being said, you also don’t owe it to them to tell them about you detransition. You don’t have to, you could just let them figure it out themselves. That or you can just push all the embarrassment aside and tell them. In the end you deciding to detransition doesn’t validate the way they treated you.

So you admit to regretting transitioning and felt great discomfort…but then go to identifying as trans again just because a subreddit made you feel unwelcomed? Op i wish the best for you and i am sorry that people here made you feel like shit but i dont think identifying as a trans again just to spite these people is good for you at all…

I relate to you 100% friend. I’m a butch lesbian who transitioned when i was 16. To me, transitioning was the correct answer for me at that time…and now it isn’t anymore. Let me tell you from first hand experience and listening to other detrans lesbians…women WILL love you regardless. All the women I’ve met have been so supportive and sweet when it comes to me being detrans. I’m still able to join lesbian communities, interact with other lesbians and be read as female…even though I’ve still got some stubble and a deep voice. Im not sure if you align yourself with any terms like butch/femme/etc but coming from a gnc butch, even the most masculine women are loved. You are loved OP. I hope in this hard time your able to love yourself even more, to find peace in your situation and your body. Just know that you have communities that understand what your going through and are here to help you. I wish the absolute best for you OP 🖤

Wishing the best for you OP.

Again, I’ve been through the same shit and i never told them about detransitioning. It wasn’t until a month later that they asked why I wasn’t wearing my binder anymore and i told them the whole story. They still treated it as a “i knew it/i told you so” situation but it didn’t bother me. They can talk shit all they want but as long as your happy in your decision op, thats all that matters.

All i can say is to just wait and focus on other important things in your life. Your so young and wasting time worrying about passing or your identity will just make your youth miserable, trust me. AND DO NOT go on hrt at this age, especially if you never envision yourself as a full grown man but a teenage boy. Hrt will make you look like a man when you start to grow full beards and have body hair on every part of your body. I’d definitely suggest going to therapy op! Talking about your feelings and thoughts never hurts, and hell even if you do realize you still feel trans later on then thats ok too, just don’t waste time worrying about it at such a young age when you should just be out with friends or having fun.