This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced opinions on complex topics like AGP and transition.
- A consistent, specific worldview that aligns with a critical desister/detransitioner perspective.
- A developed writing style with argumentation and personal reflection, not scripted or repetitive bot-like language.
- Mention of personal history (e.g., "when I was closer to your age," "reaching my mid 20s") that suggests lived experience.
The passion and strong stance are consistent with a genuine desister who is critical of transition.
About me
I'm a man who started secretly dressing in women's clothes as a young child, a feeling that was always tied to sexual excitement for me. I later believed I was a woman and started hormones, thinking it was the only solution to my unhappiness. I eventually realized my desire to transition was a form of escapism from my insecurities and sexual conflicts as a man. I've stopped hormones and am detransitioning now. I'm finally focusing on my real issues and building a life where my value isn't tied to gender.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young, around four or five years old. I felt a strong need to dress in girls' clothes, but I kept it a complete secret from everyone for most of my life. I only started talking about it a year ago. For me, this desire was always tied to sexual pleasure. That feeling of "freedom" I thought I got from dressing in a feminine way was, I now believe, heavily influenced by sexual excitement. This is a pattern I've heard described as autogynephilia (AGP), and even if the term is controversial, it perfectly describes my own behavior.
As I got older, these feelings became more complicated. I started to think I would be an inadequate partner for a woman. I didn't feel like I could succeed or be impressive in the role of a man, so the idea lost its appeal. In contrast, the idea of being a woman felt easier in a sexual context; I imagined I wouldn't have to perform or initiate, I could just exist and be desired. I also found that I much preferred the idea of being attracted to men as a woman, rather than being attracted to women as a man. I think a part of me believed that being a "trans lesbian" was the answer, and I even entertained the fantasy of eventually finding it erotic to have sex with a man, but only if I was in the role of a woman. The idea of gay sex between two men didn't appeal to me at all.
I spent a lot of time online in trans communities, and I think I was influenced by what I read. I started to believe that my feelings meant I was essentially a woman trapped in a male body. This kind of essentialist thinking was attractive because it felt like a diagnosis; it gave me a clear path forward and took the responsibility of figuring things out off my shoulders. I became convinced that medical transition was the only way to fix my unhappiness.
I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and began living as a woman. I believed I was passing well, but looking back, I think I was probably overestimating my ability to pass. Most people are polite, and it's easy to misinterpret social situations when you're deep in that mindset. For a while, it felt like a solution. But the reality of HRT started to set in. I was worried about the risks, like developing breast tissue that would be permanent, or experiencing sexual dysfunction. The changes were becoming real, and it forced me to think more critically.
As I reached my mid-twenties, something shifted. I gained a new level of self-awareness. The anxieties that consumed me when I was younger—passing, being seen as a woman, all of it—suddenly seemed less important. I started to have new desires and goals for my life that had nothing to do with gender. I realized that my desire to transition was largely a form of escapism. I was trying to escape from the difficulties of being a man who didn't fit a specific mold, and from my own sexual conflicts, rather than addressing the root causes of my unhappiness.
I came to understand that gender dysphoria can come from many different places, and transitioning isn't a guaranteed path to satisfaction. For me, it was linked to my sexuality, low self-esteem, and a desire to avoid the challenges of my life. I've decided to stop HRT and detransition. I don't regret exploring this path because I needed to go through it to understand myself better, but I ultimately regret not addressing my underlying issues first. I'm now focused on building a life where my value isn't tied to gender roles or sexual fantasies, and I feel more free than I ever did when I was trying to become someone else.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 4-5 | First felt a need to dress in girls' clothes, a feeling tied to sexual pleasure. Kept it a secret. |
| 23 | Began talking about these feelings for the first time. Started exploring online trans communities and considering transition. |
| 24 | Started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and began living socially as a woman. |
| 25 | Gained significant self-awareness, realized transition was a form of escapism. Stopped HRT and began detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/Strong-Sugar8829:
The problem is that you are thinking about as if its strictly something you are or are not. This kind of essentialist thinking is attractive because it takes all responsibility and intention out of your hands. I remember this strain of thought very vividly when I was closer to your age, so I do not blame you for having this mentality that it is some kind of diagnosis and then if you are, bam you transition!
The reality is that we are quickly learning that being trans is not the same as being gay for many people, where it is obvious when one has a homosexual attraction.
People get gender dysphoria for multiple, often completely different, reasons and transitioning itself is not at all a guarantee for satisfaction in life, and in fact may be a form of escapism rather than doing the work to become comfortable with the sex and gender you were born as. Sometimes that work will lead to much greater satisfaction, but it may take time, maturation, and identifying the core reasons for your feelings.
It is a real thing. At some point in reaching my mid 20s I simply had a different level of self awareness. And the things that gave me anxiety as a younger person, were no longer as relevant. Suddenly I had new desires and goals, and no longer felt like being chained to stupid games about transition, passing, all the other bullshit.
much prefer my attraction to men than my attraction to women
Why is that?
Do you think you would still feel the same way if you were the ideal male, with a nice 9 inch dick that women worship? Or would you then relish your access to women and relate more to male sexual power?
I feel like AGP makes me a completely inadequate partner for a woman
Is this part of it. You don't feel like you can "succeed and impress" in the role of a man, so its started to lack pleasure.
Where as "as a woman" you just have to be a dick receptacle essentially (ok that is reductionist, but with men you don't have to do anything, you just exist, show your body and they initiate the sex)
To me, you are still living in a bit of a fantasy land. I am skeptical of your "passing" experiences. Most trans people severely OVER-estimate their ability to pass and misinterpret social situations and the ability of average people to read them consistently.
I have felt a need to dress as a woman since I was probably 4 or 5 and have been hiding this from everyone in my life until 1 year ago.
Ok but you are leaving out whats unsaid, which is that you have attached a lot of sexual pleasure to these things. And that sexual pleasure is most likely heavily influencing the 'freedom' you think you feel by dabbling in female gender normative presentation.
HRT has risks. But the primary risk is having to reverse changes like breast tissue.
And yes its possible to have sexual dysfunction or atrophy, but this does not happen to most people in my opinion.
Regardless of whether its "discredited" or not. It clearly describes your behavior, yes? I am assuming you are also planning on being a "trans lesbian" at least until you convince yourself about how erotic it would be to have the "Full feminine" experience of having sex with a man/penis (but only as a woman, right? Gay sex is not sexy)
I learned of that later (when I was very young) on accident.
This is a fallacy, because males often do behavior for sexually thrilling experiences before they get to the age where they fully eroticize it and orgasm from it.
Imo, people with AGP fantasies are in a trap and unless you radically focus on adjusting your sexuality and re-orienting yourself away from AGP-like fantasies then... maybe you should transition because otherwise you will just obsess about it. Sometimes the best cure is REALITY
Because feminine/crossdressing men that are attracted to women are not valued by the majority of straight women.
Thats why that route would be "hard". You are self-aware of your own value to other people. For this route to work (I am not interested in this route, personally) you would have to ego death and attach your value to other things and ignore the messages from society (ie. People).