This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user describes specific mental health struggles (OCD, depersonalization) with detail that is difficult to fabricate convincingly.
- Consistent, empathetic advice: The advice is supportive, practical, and focuses on managing OCD, which aligns with the stated perspective of a desister who views their gender distress through the lens of a pre-existing mental health condition.
- Appropriate emotional tone: The tone is passionate and empathetic, which is consistent with a genuine person who has experienced significant distress.
About me
My gender confusion started from a place of deep anxiety fueled by my OCD, which latched onto transition as a false solution. I now understand I was never truly dysphoric; my brain was just channeling its anxiety into obsessing over my female body. Transitioning would have been a permanent fix for a temporary mental state, and I'm relieved I didn't go through with it. My focus now is on treating my OCD and learning to see my body not as wrong, but as my own. It's a daily process of grounding myself and accepting the thoughts without acting on them.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep anxiety and confusion. I have OCD, and it has completely warped my perception of myself and my reality. For me, the idea of being trans wasn't a clear, affirming realization; it felt like an obsessive thought that my brain latched onto as "the answer" to relieve my constant anxiety and uncertainty. It was both distressing and weirdly exciting to feel like I was finally figuring myself out, but that's how my OCD works—it presents a solution that only ends up causing more checking, more self-monitoring, and more doubt, which just makes the anxiety so much worse.
My OCD obsessions have been so intense that I've given myself severe depersonalization and dissociation, to the point where I couldn't function for days. It's completely debilitating. During these periods, my brain would convince me that my body was wrong, gross, or disgusting. I now understand that what I was feeling wasn't true dysphoria, but a way for my anxiety to channel itself. It was my OCD trying to solve a problem that wasn't really there.
I came to realize that transitioning wouldn't have been a real solution for me. I was looking at being a woman as a kind of fantasy or an escape from my own feelings of depression and low self-esteem. But women don't have it easy either—we still get depressed, angry, and sad. Transitioning is incredibly hard, and all of those difficult feelings would still be there, probably made even worse by the huge amount of stress that comes with medical transition. Being a woman isn't a coping mechanism; we're just people, with all the same complex emotions.
I was also influenced by seeing things online and the stories of others, and I think that added to the pressure I felt. My OCD latched onto that as another thing to obsess over. I've learned that the only way to deal with these obsessive thoughts is to not fight them directly. I tell myself, "Okay, so what if I am [insert the obsession]? So what? I don't have to do anything about it." By accepting the thought without taking action, it takes away some of its power. This is a temporary strategy until you can get proper help, but it has been crucial for me.
I don't regret exploring these feelings because it ultimately led me to understand my OCD better, but I am so relieved that I did not medically transition. It would have been a permanent solution to a temporary, though intensely painful, mental state. My focus now is on treating my OCD and anxiety, and learning to see my body not as something wrong, but as something that is mine. Grounding myself with things I enjoy, like certain foods, movies, music, or talking to friends, has been important. So is sleep, even though the anxiety often messes with it. It's a daily process, but I know that these obsessive thoughts are not forever; they are temporary, and they do die down when my overall life stress decreases.
Looking back, my experience was heavily rooted in mental health struggles, not in a true transgender identity. I benefited from realizing that my feelings were a manifestation of anxiety, and that has been the most important part of my detransition—understanding myself better.
Age | Event |
---|---|
24 | Began experiencing intense OCD obsessions about my gender, leading to severe anxiety and depersonalization. |
24 | Realized my feelings were channeled anxiety from OCD, not true dysphoria, and decided against medical transition. |
24 | Began using acceptance strategies to manage obsessive thoughts and focus on treating my underlying anxiety and OCD. |
Top Comments by /u/SyddySquiddy:
I don’t see this ruining your reputation. Frankly if I were one of those women and I received some kind of weird message from someone I didn’t know, about someone’s private medical history, I would be judging the person sending the message, not the subject of the message. This person sounds extremely toxic and insecure and I’m sorry they have targeted you. 😞
Your body is not wrong, gross, or disgusting. OCD is extremely powerful. It can convince us of so many things, all of which feel so real, and can really do a number on us. Are you able to reach out for some in person mental health support? Is there a mental health ER in your vicinity at all?
Not necessarily. It could feel both distressing and exciting on some level that you’re “figuring yourself out”. The only thing with OCD is that the disorder is fundamentally about seeking relief from anxiety and uncertainty - so the thing that your brain latches on to, to relieve those things, can be seen as “the answer”. The problem then becomes all the ‘checking’ self monitoring, self doubt, and obsession that comes out of that, which actually ends up increasing the anxiety. What a trip
Women don’t have it easy. We still get depressed and angry and sad. Transitioning is no picnic - as a transitioning person you would have to deal with those feelings still, and likely they would be exacerbated with all of the stress you’d put yourself under. Being a woman isn’t a fantasy, or a coping mechanism. We are people!
Yes it won’t fully stop the thoughts from happening, but it’s important to nourish yourself when you can. The thoughts are going to pop up, and your anxiety over the thoughts will feed that cycle. Sometimes I like to tell myself “Ok - so what if I’m (insert obsession). So what? Ok, so I am. I don’t have to do anything about it.” Your OCD feeds off of the anxiety and the uncertainty about the “what if”. If it’s possible to alleviate some of the distress by “giving in” to the thought by accepting it, it takes away a bit of its power. You don’t have to take any action with this, it’s just the thought.
This is not a forever thing, this is temporary until you can get some real help. Let me know if that makes sense.
That is understandable, health care is expensive in some places 😞. If there are any local resources it might be good to check. Just remember that this is anxiety - dysphoria is the way your brain is attempting to channel that anxiety, but at the root, that’s what it is.
Is there anything you can do to help ground yourself? Anything that makes you feel good, certain foods or unrelated movies or distracting activities, music, any friends you could call? If your OCD is anything like mine, I get these obsessions during periods of intense life stress, but they do die down a bit once the stress dissipates a bit. Sleep is also very important for your brain, although I understand the anxiety can mess with that sometimes.
My OCD obsessions have been so bad before that I legitimately gave myself depersonalization and dissociation so bad that I couldn’t function properly for a few days at a time. It’s really quite debilitating. I hope you’re able to find some support, if that is truly what you’re dealing with.