This story is from the comments by /u/Takeshold that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive comments provided, the user "Takeshold" appears to be an authentic account of a real person who is a detransitioned or desisted individual. There are no serious red flags suggesting this is a bot, troll, or inauthentic account.
Key indicators of authenticity:
- Personal Experience: The user shares detailed, consistent, and nuanced personal experiences with detransition, including medical (hormones, surgery considerations), social (reintegrating into women's communities), and psychological aspects. The depth and specificity of these accounts are not typical of fabricated stories.
- Emotional Authenticity: The comments convey genuine emotions—anger, pain, vulnerability, resilience, and growth—that align with the experiences of many detransitioners who feel harmed by transition and marginalized by both trans and mainstream communities.
- Community Engagement: The user actively engages with others in the subreddit, offering support, advice, and personal insights that reflect a long-term, invested presence in the detrans community.
- Consistency: The narrative is consistent over time, focusing on themes like reconciling with being a masculine woman, critiques of transgender ideology, and the importance of female-only spaces.
- Knowledgeable Discourse: The user demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of medical (e.g., hormone effects, health risks), psychological (e.g., internalized homophobia, trauma), and social (e.g., dynamics in LGBT communities) issues relevant to detransition.
Conclusion: This account exhibits all hallmarks of a genuine detransitioned individual sharing their lived experience and perspective. The passion and criticism expressed are consistent with the stated context of someone who feels harmed by transition and stigmatized, not with a manipulative or inauthentic agenda.
About me
I started testosterone as an adult because I struggled with being a masculine woman and thought becoming a man was the answer. For years, I lived as male and saw how much easier life was for men, but I felt a deep loneliness and lost my connection to other women. I realized my pain came from internalized homophobia and that transitioning didn't solve my problems, while also introducing health risks my doctors never warned me about. Detransitioning was frightening, but I found acceptance in women's communities and learned to manage my dysphoria without changing my body. Now I'm a happier butch lesbian, living as a woman on my own terms and accepting the permanent changes from testosterone.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been long and complicated. I was on testosterone for years and consistently passed as male. During that time, I noticed people treated me differently—men were friendlier and more respectful, and I felt a sense of safety walking down the street. But I also saw how women were treated worse, and that stuck with me. Even though living as a man had its benefits, I started to feel disconnected, especially from other masculine women and lesbians who didn't recognize me as female. That was a turning point for me.
I realized that my discomfort wasn't just about my body; it was also about losing my place in women's communities. I had always been gender nonconforming, even as a kid, and I struggled with internalized homophobia and misogyny. I thought transitioning would solve my problems, but it didn't. Instead, it brought new health risks—like a higher chance of heart disease—that I hadn't fully considered because my doctors never mentioned them.
Detransitioning was scary. I was terrified of being rejected, especially by other women. But I reached out to women's groups online and was honest about my story. I told them I was a woman who had taken testosterone and used a male name but wanted to live as a woman again. Most were accepting, and I slowly built a new community. I kept my male name because it felt right for me, and I didn't try to force myself to be feminine. I'm a masculine woman, and that's okay.
I don't regret transitioning because it helped me understand myself better, but I also see now that it wasn't the right path for me. My dysphoria didn't go away; I just learned to manage it differently. Therapy, support from other detrans women, and finding a community where I could be myself made all the difference. I'm happier now, living as a butch lesbian and accepting my female body, even with the changes from testosterone.
I think gender is a social construct, and my experience showed me that you don't have to change your body to be yourself. For me, detransition was about reclaiming my identity as a woman on my own terms.
Here's a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early childhood | Felt like a boy, refused female roles, was very gender nonconforming |
| Teen years | Developed social and physical dysphoria, struggled with internalized homophobia |
| Adults years (exact age not specified) | Started testosterone, socially transitioned to male |
| 3 years on T | Began to detransition socially, still on testosterone |
| After detransition | Stopped testosterone, rebuilt social life in women's communities, found therapy helpful |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Takeshold:
Keira Bell was not better off staying hidden. She has entered LGBT history as a woman whose courage has helped expose an abusively incompetent system. Give it time.
I understand the fear. They're calling for hatred towards us. They're calling for abuse of Keira Bell; they're showing who they are, and always have been. They have growing numbers against them, who will make good use of exposing their hateful tirades against a relatable, charismatic young woman.
I've told people before that I experienced intense psychological abuse from trans women while I was in the trans community. I don't have to tell them anymore. They will see for themselves now.
Just saw it. Grace did a great job putting forward the message that we need therapy for dysphoria and more comprehensive care. Her poise was impressive. I wish they'd linked to her essay on top surgery trauma. Maybe she'll be willing to post it here.
I wish someone had been able to counter the assertion that PBs are not experimental and have been consistently used for decades. A very deceptive statement because the Dutch protocol hasn't been followed in other countries; it's been radically altered by applying it to a different population. Historically, it was never used when children had a late onset of dysphoria in their teens. We now know that using PBs for 2+ years results in bone density so low that 25% of children fall into the lowest 2 percentile. They're at high risk of hip and spine fractures during that time. The data is new and it's poorly collected and reported. This isn't just experimental; it's a very badly run experiment.
I do have cautious respect for Erika Anderson's willingness to recognize us, though she draws the wrong conclusion that we're "trans people" failed by substandard care. That really misrepresents us and our beliefs, and understates the harm we've experienced.
They tell this to everyone, because they were told that transition is The Only Way, and they believe it. They told it to me, and they've been wrong.
I am still me. Still masc, with preferences for presenting and being addressed in unconventional ways (for a female). However that hasn't stopped me from developing new, and more healthy, ways of understanding myself. It hasn't prevented me from joining a new community, based on being female and homosexual.
You can read quite a few similar stories on the phallo and metoidioplasty subreddits. It's a good thing that people are finally talking. Also, we all owe gratitude to Cayden Carter who was the first to fully blog his story of medical abuse.
People need to know how many drawbacks and lifelong challenges come with successful phallo and meta. They need to know how devastating a failed or "complicated" one can be. At this point, it's NOT informed consent for many patients. There's some peer-to-peer education that is crucial, thanks to the recent openness of past patients, and the trans community's lukewarm tolerance for their voices. It still has a ways to go. There's still many people who start down the path with no real sense of what impact it can have when it goes wrong.
We've got young people who volunteered their bodies for an untested abdominal surgery by a surgeon (Cetrulo) who promised them four or five stages. He'd never completed his experimental protocol on any patient, however. Somehow his patients didn't know that going in. Somehow! Informed consent, though.
A couple of these patients have had eight major, full anaesthesia procedures to date- still with no end in sight. Other surgeons can't even help the patients Cetrulo misled and failed. They've no idea what he did and what he was trying to do.
A couple of these patients post for sympathy, then erase their posts once they've gotten their cossetting, leaving young and vulnerable prospective patients with no warning.
Long way to go, but at least some light is being shone. It's currently so bad though, that we're close to (or we've reached) an intensity of issues that this industry may be shut down. I think there's a good chance that insurance will kill coverage for UL if not for phallo and meta outright.
Cetrulo got shut down. That's something. Too late for too many people though.
This is happening because no one cares what's done to dysphoric and trans identified female people. That is, no one in authority or influence in medicine. Some of these trans identified patients don't even care about each other- they're minimizing the problems to sell others on the surgeries, and protect "their" surgeons. They're silencing the people who inform, caution, and honestly advise others. Stockholm syndrome with some, misery loves company with others, denial with others. Against that backdrop, every honest voice is heroic and saving lives.
A social effect seems to be significant for this group of people. Could be spun many ways, however, so I wish the post had more details. We don't know how the kids feel about their detransition; hopefully they are experiencing relief of stress and improved mood. I find it credible and think if there's this group, there are other, similar instances we might find, if we investigated.
If the poster uses their own name online and can be verified as a teacher, then this is even more helpful. I assume you've directed the poster to Lisa Littman? She may want to correspond.
Yes, there's better sources.
Here's the actual retraction: https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.2020.1778correction
It's a big deal because the study's original, misleading conclusion was shouted from the rooftops by trans orgs and trans activists.
I'm sorry. You're out in the world by yourself, but you're also here with us, and you have my recognition and respect. I'm sorry you're alone out there and angry today.
The way that you've lived is the way that at least one female person has lived (you) and also others. Your life history is a female life history. If we excluded it from being part of women's knowledge, that would not reflect the simple truth of it. It would be fear, woman-hate, and weakness to deny our connection and responsibility to you. You need a community to meet your need for healing connections, and a good community will at least let you enter and seek.
On the balance, I benefitted when treated as male. That won't be true for everyone. A couple of black trans guys told me things got sketchier for them, in terms of safety and opportunity.
Before passing, I was disrespected in the workplace, sexually harassed, verbally degraded by strangers for being a butch, homosexual, or trans person- whatever was visible on that day. When I began passing as male, everything about me was more acceptable and significant to others. Just like that. I hadn't earned the reprieve, unless you count overcoming a fear of needles and enduring some transphobia. Of course I had always deserved the reprieve- there'd never been any justification to giving me a harder time.
I got more kindness and respect as a trans man, though I was sometimes assumed to be gay. I "lost" more than a decade of maturity and experience because I began to be mistaken for my girlfriend's son. Men still took an interest in me, my thoughts, my abilities.
I got threatened by jerks, based on my perceived homosexuality or softness. Yet strangely, support staff in bars and even the bullies' friends were more likely to deescalate shit. So I learned: abusing a gay woman is a harmless joke, but abusing any male could be serious. It therefore should be a smart choice of when and where, and it wasn't always worth it or appropriate.
I know what you're talking about, though: "all men are trash." It hurts young men who are vulnerable, while having less effect on young men in a strong social position due to health, wealth, stable family backgrounds, other advantages. So I think it's an effective way of kicking down at trans, gay, feminine, autistic, poor, mentally ill, or racially marginalized boys. Some of the people saying these things are bullies and "dark triad" opportunists who know who they're hurting most. They know what they're gaining personally. They're bad for all of us.
Other "man-hating" young female people are themselves experiencing low status in society, and reacting to shitty treatment from men.
It doesn't feel good, I know. It still didn't negate my social gains.
My tip for reducing breast size (but not tissue) is wait. T will do that via fat redistribution. In my experience, it took about a year for full effect. Since most of the breast is fat tissue, and only some of it is breast tissue (ducts and glands), you may lose a third or more of the volume. After a year, re-evaluate.
As for dating, you've just gone through some trauma. You're vulnerable to a relapse and increase of symptoms from your various illnesses. Don't complicate your situation. I know you want reassurance that you can be happy, loved, and healthy. Your best chance is stability and focusing on therapy. Other people bring other issues into your life, and you're not ready. Work, wait, and then work and wait some more. It will get better.
You are not alone. Even in the last few days, you could find posts from people in distress for the same reasons as yourself. And you can find detrans people comforting them and relating to their anger, fear, and shame, while encouraging them- because it really does get better. Go back another sixty days, and a year, and you'll find the first posts ever made by the people comforting you and others now. And you know what those posts said? Something very similar to what you're saying now. We have been there.
We will be among the first people to accept you as a female, as a woman, again. It will start here but it won't stop here. You will find others; you will find communities, and they will receive you and value you.
We know how hard and painful the work is. We'll support you here.
I love what you are. I love you as a masc and dysphoric female, recovering, growing, learning ways to be healthy and hopeful. I love what WE are. It's so very hard sometimes, and that's what I hate. But I love us. And others do, too.