This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced arguments that align with common detransitioner/desister perspectives.
- Personal, empathetic advice that references lived experience (e.g., "I wish I wasn't so tall...").
- A cohesive worldview focused on radical self-acceptance, critique of gender ideology, and practical life advice.
The passion and frustration present are consistent with a genuine individual who has experienced harm, not with a bot or troll.
About me
I was a teenager when I started hating my developing female body, and I found online communities that convinced me transition was the answer. I lived as a man for years, taking testosterone and having surgery, thinking it would fix my deep unhappiness. I eventually realized my discomfort wasn't about being the wrong sex, but came from anxiety and struggling with impossible standards for women. I stopped hormones and am now learning to accept myself as a female who doesn't have to fit a stereotype. While I regret the permanent changes, my journey taught me that true peace comes from self-acceptance, not from changing my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager, filled with a deep unhappiness and discomfort with my body. I was born female, and when puberty hit, I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me and I didn't see myself in the sexualized images of women that were everywhere. I spent a lot of time online and was heavily influenced by the communities I found there, which offered transition as the solution to these feelings.
I came to believe that if I couldn't be a "woman" in the way the world seemed to define it, then I must not be one at all. I now see this was a form of internalized misogyny; I was rejecting my sex because I couldn't live up to a stereotypical ideal. I started identifying as non-binary and then later as a man. I socially transitioned, changed my name and pronouns, and I took testosterone for a significant period of time. I also had top surgery to remove my breasts.
For a while, I felt a sense of relief. I thought I had solved the problem. But the underlying issues were still there. My discomfort was rooted in anxiety, low self-esteem, and a deep dissatisfaction with the impossible standards set for women. I realize now that a lot of my fixation was a form of Body Dysmorphia, maybe even a type of OCD where I became hyper-focused on my body as the source of my problems. Transitioning didn't cure my depression or anxiety; it just gave me a new set of problems to focus on.
I also had to confront my relationship with sex and sexuality. I consumed a lot of porn, and I think that warped my view of what it meant to be a woman and what relationships were supposed to be. I used the idea of being a man as a form of escapism from my own life and my own body.
Eventually, I hit a point where I had to be honest with myself. I realized that "man" is not a feeling. You can't feel like a man; you just are your biological sex. I understood that I could be any blend of masculine or feminine I wanted, but I could never actually change my sex. That was a hard truth to accept. I had to learn radical self-acceptance, to accept the things I cannot change—like my height, my bone structure, and the fact that I am female.
I stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. I don't regret my journey because it brought me to this point of understanding, but I do regret the permanent changes to my body. I am now infertile because of the hormones, and my body is forever marked by surgery. I mourn the loss of my natural self.
My thoughts on gender now are simple: a woman is an adult human female. That’s it. It’s not a feeling or a collection of stereotypes. The best way to be revolutionary is to be your authentic, gender-nonconforming self within your own sex. I benefited immensely from stepping away from online trans spaces, getting offline, and focusing on living my life. I started volunteering, taking classes, and building real-world connections. Shifting my focus away from myself and onto helping others was incredibly healing.
I had to learn to accept the body I was born with. It’s the only one I’ll ever get, and my life would be misery if I didn’t learn to treat it well. The discomfort I felt was a normal part of growing up, and it did ease with time and maturity. I wish I had known that it was okay to just wait, to work on my mental health, and to understand that my changing body wasn't the enemy.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started puberty; began to intensely hate my developing breasts and female body. |
| 16 | Spent increasing time online; influenced by communities that framed my discomfort as being transgender. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned, began using a new name and male pronouns. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 25 | Began to question my transition; realized underlying issues were anxiety and self-esteem, not gender. |
| 26 | Stopped taking testosterone. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 27 | Came to accept my female sex and embrace a gender-nonconforming presentation. |
Top Comments by /u/Tall-Pool-9004:
Sure, gender non-conforming people have always existed, but it's only recently with tech advances have people actually claimed to be the other sex, claimed to have changed their sex. It's not possible to do that.
You can be any blend of feminine or masculine. Every "identity" or gender presentation comes with pros and cons. None of them automatically equal a perfect, happy life. The only thing you can't be is female. And that's okay. There are many things we can't do. I'll never be Italian even though I love Italian culture. I'll never be shorter. I'll never be a good singer, or particularly good at painting, or have smaller feet, or be stereotypically attractive. It might be harder to accept our sex than these other things sometimes, but it's worth doing so rather than forever chasing an impossibility.
Man is not a feeling. There is no way to feel like a man. There is your biology and your personality. You can be whatever blend of feminine/masculine you want, but unfortunately you can't become the other sex. Destroying your body to appear as the opposite sex does not really solve the problem. Radical self acceptance and recognition of reality will help, plus digging into the reasons why you think you are a man. There are so many things we have to learn to accept about ourselves that we can't change. We can't change our height, our shoe size, our race...our sex is just another one of those things. The world has pathologized and monetized the very normal teenage dissatisfaction with a changing body. There's little money to be made in helping people grow to love and accept themselves.
If you want to revolutionary and buck the 'gender binary', be yourself within your own sex class. We've regressed into defining girl/boy, woman/man by the very stereotypes we've been fighting against for decades. It's just all repackaged sexism and medically approved self-harm.
Have you taken a look at what kind of content you consume? Are you watching TV/movies that are filled.with well rounded female characters that aren't overly sexualized/bimbofied? Female characters that have agency and are strong, smart, and competent? Who are you following on social media? What kind of books are you reading? Stay away from porn in any form as much as you can. For a time, fill your world solely focused on the characteristics you want to see in yourself. Drop people who are only sticking around because you might have sex with them. Stop using sex as a weapon to get others to do things for you. It's hard to move away from the idea that women are there just to be used if you don't actually treat yourself like it. Many, many people don't view women this way - but it's the ones that do who are the loudest and get the most attention. It's also an age/maturity thing. From like 15-30(ish) our bodies, hormones, and minds mostly just care about sex. So most content directed at people in that age range is only about sex (and unfortunately mostly through the lens of heterosexual men). It's hard to hear, but it's amazing how much maturity will soften these feelings.
I wish I wasn't so tall, I wish I had lighter bone structure, I wish my feet were smaller. But these are not things that I can change and my life will only be misery if I can't accept that is the only body I'll get and learn to accept it and treat it well.
Volunteer. Help others. Find your local food bank, animal shelter, etc. It helps so much to shift your focus outside of yourself. Take a pottery class with strangers. Sign up for a creative writing class at your local community College. See what groups and activities are happening at your local library/rec center. Go on a road trip and explore what's in your area. GET OFFLINE and out of trans spaces. Build your confidence in what you can do and push yourself to try. Eventually you'll find that you are thinking of yourself less and less. It's hard to start, but it gets easier the more you do it.
A woman is an adult human female. What other definition is there? A bunch of stereotypes?
Learning to accept the body you were born with may be difficult, but it's the best goal to have. This discomfort with your body is quite normal, especially if you are still young.
Get out of trans spaces. Get offline. Just live your life, dress the way you like, meditate, learn that there are things you cannot change no matter how much you wish they could. Do your best to get to adulthood whole. Almost every stufy shoes that these discomforts ease once you get into adulthood (mid-20s). It may be difficult, but don't sacrifice your future based on the feelings you have now.
I fully believe real dysphoria is actually body anxiety disorder or a type of ocd. OCD can very much be hyper specific, meaning you can get very obsessive about your body, how it presents, how people see it, etc. For some it that might mean anxiety about your body regardless of how you present. I think addressing anxiety and ocd with coping skills or meds or excersice can go a long way.
Has it occurred to you that your upbringing causes you to be drawn to people/communities that have distorted views of sex, sexuality, & relationships? It's unfortunate that dating and finding relationships has become so difficult, but there are many areas of the country & communities that don't see it this way, or treat relationships this way. I know very few divorced couples. Almost everyone I know has been married for quite a while, has kids and I know many well enough to be fairly certain divorce is not coming any time soon.
It sounds like you want a relationship with a mirror version of yourself with a vagina. That sounds like narcissism. Either that or you are afraid of being with someone who will challenge you, argue with you, force you to compromise. And to be honest- that can be the best part of a healthy relationship. It forces you to grow, to create a new life that fits both of you. Relationships can be hard, they take work - it sounds like you are trying to avoid that by being with someone who is as similar to you as possible.
Maybe get out of these Fandom spaces. Get offline. Join a bowling league. A softball team. Find some "vanilla" hobbies and groups of people. I promise you heterosexuality is not dead. If you only spend time with people who view "normal" or "hetereonormativity" as the worst thing possible in the world, of course your experience is going to lead you to believe that healthy hetero relationships are impossible.