Autogynephilia is a bitch. I don't have experience with this but I have empathy and I can tell you're struggling but it'll be ok, this is something you can surmount. How did you get HRT, did you get it DIY? If so then don't order any more, but I wouldn't throw it away as you're creating a binge purge cycle, same with with any clothing etc. Don't throw it away but don't let it consume you, only indulge in it reasonably and cautiously, ideally ween yourself off. In the meantime, switch to regular heterosexual pornography, masturbate to women and not the thought or idea of yourself as one. And ABSOLUTELY do NOT give yourself a female name or convince yourself you are actually a woman because it becomes very difficult to kill the AGP and not go through transition at that point, it's almost impossible. You're going to be absolutely okay, I think the first step is to forgive yourself but accept you have to take steps to stop something you recognise as destructive. There are so many others like you out there, subs like r/askAGP exist too.

You don't need to announce anything. You're a girl, if someone treats you like a boy, say "you know I'm a girl right". You are your sex and don't need to justify it like a trans person has to justify their gender identity. By your fear of the reaction of the teachers, I'm assuming it's because they're very big supporters of the ideology, just remember that you have bodily autonomy and can look and act any way you want and can call yourself any name you want, so fuck them if they say anything about you being a girl again (not that you were anything else lol). I'm sending you loads of strength, it's awkward for me at work because I've had the same job for over 3 years now and people think I'm a cis woman but I'm detransitioning from MtF. It's awkward but we're all strong here and can get through it. Stay strong everyone 🦋💞

They're narcissists and some women will only date narcissists, that's what they're attracted to (often and this is just my opinion obviously) and some can look past the trans part in order to get the grandiose overt narcissist which the psychologicaly need and is relatively rare in the general population. Most of these men deceive women, often get her pregnant and marry her then on the honeymoon say surprise 🎉 I'm going to transition and destroy your life and you better support me bigot. Many autogynephiles are narcissistic, it's just statistics that women will be with them and date them post transition.

If no one wants to talk to you again then they're pathetic and consider it a dodged bullet. There will always be people who want to talk to you, if you've made friends before you can do it again. It's the same thinking of "I'll always be known as the girl who got r*ped", that fear stops millions of victims speaking out, it just isn't true and if they have any decency they will respect your decision. You've only been been trans-identified for a few months, stop it before it becomes more permanent and not just a phase in your life that can be forgotten about, that's my advice anyway, I know highschool is a minefield. Worst case is you'll be the girl everyone talks about for a week at most, then it's old news, trust me I've been there and it's better to get it over with than worry about it. There might be a teen pregnancy around the corner which is far more dramatic etc.

I'm mad too, they preyed on me in my most vulnerable state as a gay teen struggling with internalised homophobia and untreated BPD and CPTSD. Putting me on hormones and referring me for SRS was not the solution wtf... I don't understand how this is even legal. These surgeries have so many brutal complications which can't possibly be justified when the patient is healthy. All I did was go back in the closet and hide who I am in just a different way to oppease a homophobic culture, it's so disturbing that this is glorified when it's pure evil and insists gay people are sick and medicalises it. I'm praying we'll get our justice and end this abuse soon 🙏, but living a good life is the sweetest revenge and we can absolutely do this! We just need to keep a PMA and practice a lot of self love. I just wanna tell everyone reading this that they're beautiful, some scars will never fade but as we grow as people they'll become a smaller and smaller part of who we are and nothing done to us can destroy our value as people.

They literally all seem to say "it's so obvious you're trans" to us. It's either intentional manipulation or if it's not I think explaining your feelings is appropriate, I'd say how you feel either way personally. Remember that you pay them, they're not your friend, when the money stops rolling in I've never had one therapist check on me. You have these feelings that she betrayed you and you should feel free to voice them or I don't see the point in therapy, it can't be therapeutic if you have to bite your tongue.

You need to do radical self acceptance. Write a list of all these that come to your mind, just blurt every issue you have onto a piece of paper then stand in front of a mirror and say for example "I hate being female, but I am female and it's okay to be upset about that", you need to confront your feelings first before you confront the issue. You have three choices: 1. Do nothing - you're not medically transitioning so this is absolutely reversible if the situation would become toxic, 2. You medically transition, wouldn't recommend doing this but it's an option of course, 3. You gain insane confidence so much so that no one would even dare be misogynistic towards you and you just glow and command respect. The respect you get as a man is so shallow but arguably it's better than being mistreated as a woman, it's your choice what to do. Just ensure it's temporary and have an escape plan where you'll detrans once you're safe to.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm kinda doing the same in reverse, I'm MtF and my voice is very passable and I could just pass as a woman despite stopping E. I have dysphoria still and really wish I were born female but I'm working on accepting I can't ever be. It sucks because there's no good solution for our predicament. I was told transition was the "cure", you cannot cure this pain and I'm so mad at my therapist persuading me this would solve all my problems.

Yea this is basically what I'm doing! I'm detransitioning but unsure if I want to stop hormones altogether, maybe just take finasteride or keep taking puberty blockers / tiny amount of cypro to stop masculinisation a little, I still want to be feminine in appearance and manner so it's not a huge deal to me. I might come off slower than that but I really don't know as I'm not an endocrinologist lol, I'm gonna go down a dose a month at a time, keep a stockpile in my drawer then speak to my endo about how to actually go about this properly once I've secured myself enough supply to bridge while I work it out if I change my mind.

They're convinced that we're really trans but detransed due to societal pressure and that it's their job to support and affirm us to get us back on the "authentic" and "right" path, which is interestingly always the one that's the most profitable 🤔. I have dysphoria but I acknowledge that medicalising it with surgery and medications with horrific side effects and complications isn't an appropriate treatment, at least not for myself anyway.