This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative about their own experiences with gender, transition, and detransition.
- A complex and evolving viewpoint that engages with various ideas (e.g., AGP theory, feminism, social constructs) in a way that reflects genuine personal reflection, not just parroting talking points.
- Emotional depth and internal conflict that is characteristic of a real person grappling with a difficult and personal issue.
- A consistent writing style and tone over a significant period (over a year).
The user's passion and strong criticism of trans ideology align with the stated experiences of many genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I'm a feminine man who started transitioning because I felt deep shame about being gay and was encouraged by others to become their ideal. I lived as a woman and took hormones, but I became disillusioned when I realized I could never actually be female and grew tired of the exhausting effort to "pass." I began to question the ideology behind it all and learned about the health risks that aren't widely discussed. Now, I've detransitioned and accept that I am just a feminine man, and I believe gender is a social construct. I'm angry that this path is pushed on people like me, but I'm finally happy and at peace with who I am.
My detransition story
My journey started with a deep discomfort about being a feminine gay man. I felt a lot of shame and internalized homophobia from a very young age. I was bullied a lot as a kid and teenager, and I think that trauma left me with a lot of self-loathing. I had this romanticized idea of straight life and straight men, and I felt doomed to loneliness because I thought no gay man would ever be attracted to a feminine guy like me.
I started expressing my femininity more, and I got a lot of positive attention from very masculine, straight-acting men. They encouraged me to go further, almost like I was becoming their porn ideal of a "shemale." My female friends and even a trans woman I knew also encouraged me. At the time, it felt like I was entering a dream world, an escape from my boring and hopeless life. It replaced my old interest in art. I also felt like being trans was the new cutting-edge thing to do; gays and lesbians seemed forgotten, while trans people were the center of attention.
I decided to transition socially and started living as a woman. I took hormones for a while. I never had any surgeries. For a time, it felt good. It was like living in a fantasy. But eventually, I became disappointed that I didn't "pass" as a woman all the time. I realized that no matter how much effort I put in, I would never actually be female. That was a huge turning point for me.
I started to question everything. I saw the clash between trans ideology and feminism. I learned about the health risks and the medical scandals that aren't talked about enough. I thought a lot about the theory of autogynephilia (AGP) and it resonated with some of my experiences. I got tired of the constant, exhausting focus on "passing" and realized how shallow and conservative that idea really is.
I began to accept that I am just a feminine man. I don't have a "female gender identity" trapped in a male body. I believe gender is a social construct, not a biological reality. You can be whoever you want to be without believing in a hidden "true gender." I worked hard to stop caring what other people think of me.
Now, I don't regret my transition because it led me to this understanding, but I see it as a difficult detour. I think transitioning should be a last resort, not a first option. I'm angry that the trans movement pushes this ideology that hurts so many people, especially young, gender-nonconforming kids who just need to be accepted for who they are. I believe in the right to transition if you choose to, but it should be an informed personal choice, not something based on the idea that you were "born in the wrong body." I'm happy now just being a feminine man, and I know there are people out there who are attracted to that.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood/Teens | Experienced bullying and trauma. Felt shame about being a feminine gay male. |
| Early 20s | Began expressing femininity, encouraged by others. Felt like I was entering a "dream world." |
| 24 | Started socially transitioning and began taking hormones. |
| 27 | Became disappointed with not "passing" and began to question transition. |
| 28 | Stopped hormones. Began identifying as a detransitioned, gender non-conforming man. |
| 29 (Present) | Accepted myself as a feminine man. Believe gender is a social construct. |
Top Comments by /u/Terrible_Deer749:
I think its actually more fair to say that trans ideology hurts everyone.
I do think phobia towards GNC people did always exist. But the difference is nowadays that real phobia is more and more replaced with valid critic of trans politics. And that people talk a lot about phobia, when in reality what they experience is something else. Like an argument.
Apparently being ”trans” as a rebellious act is the new trend. In a way I guess its better then the ”born in the wrong body” bs. But at the same time if they don’t believe in that mythology why would they be angry with JK Rowling in the first place? It makes no sense, but then again trans phenomena seldom do.
I don’t believe in the idea of ”true trans”. Some people chose to live like feminine looking males or masculine looking females. It should not be a big deal. Its a choice and its ok. Its weird to me that every life choice seems to require a scientific base in biology. Whatever makes you happy works as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else. But that is the problem with the trans ideology, movement whatever you call it… it hurts a lot of people. Its not like the gay movement in that way.
I totally agree with you. It’s a double struggle too. Suddenly both ”trans inclusive” liberals and ”anti trans” conservatives hate you. In this environment I think the best thing you can do is to be overly clear about who you are. That being GNC is not the same as being trans. My experience as a feminine male is that a lot of people get positively suprised when I tell them I don’t identify as trans. It has happened that I have been thrown out of male bathrooms but usually not.
Having issues with being a feminine gay man was one of the main reasons why I became trans. Another reason was that I thought a lot about the ”gay paradox” theory - that all gay men want a masculine partner while all gay men are feminine. Now I accept being a partly feminine man, and I know that there are several gay men as well as bisexual and bicurious guys that are attracted to feminine men. Maybe there are more gay men who likes masculine guys, but who cares. I think the big problem today is that society at large has no room for feminine males or masculine females. To just be who we are and not change us clinically.
I was also disappointed at not passing while trans. But now I have accepted that not passing is also possible while detrans. Either trans or detrans passing cannot be a goal. That will only lead to disappointment. Instead we should be proud of being non conforming and unique. It’s ironic that benig trans is usually so much about conformity and fitting in a box, really not the true meaning of ”trans” if you ask me. If you think about it, transphobia never hits someone who is passing. Not that its a good thing to be exposed to transphobia. But it makes it clear who really is ”brave” and everything the trans movement wants to be.
I am also angry that we all have to pay for their ”successful transitions” and that they gets furious if someone think they don’t pass and dare say so. Even if they really do pass 24/7 they are still representing strange beliefs that might inspire others to make bad decisions. Besides ”passing” also mean that you are lying in a way.
I think the best way to get rid of dysphoria, for both trans and detrans identified people, is to think that gender is not real. Gender roles and gender identity are both social constructs. You can be who ever you like to be, but you don’t have a hidden ”true gender” waiting to be found. Another thing I really work on every day is not to care what other people think of me. They should not care how you choose to present your self, and if they do that is their problem. With that said, I am not against HRT or even surgery. Sometimes that can really make some people more happy. But that doesn’t mean they are ”true trans”, ”born in the wrong body” or anything like that. It is still a personal choice, still just a way to present oneself. So I think the question one should ask is not ”am I really trans?” but ”would I be happier if I transition?” And to answer that, take in as much information as possible about all pros and cons.
To me one important thing was that I saw in others and myself that despite all the effort we had made we were still not the sex we desired to be. And tgg I realzed that we would never be. I have never seen a trans person be anything other than trans. And that is ok I guess. But why make so much changes to your body and challenges to your social relations for an identity that you can get to so much easier?
What is about ”being a boy” that you desire? Is it a physical thing mainly or a social thing?
I don’t think most detrans are transphobic. On the other hand real transphobia, that is phobia of gender non conformity, hits a lot of detrans folks. What I experience in the detrans community is mostly valid critic of the trans ideology, that is not the same as hate towards trans-identified individuals.