This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Personal, consistent narratives about being a "boyish girl" who grew out of dysmorphia.
- Emotional investment in the topic, including concern for a sister and frustration with societal pressures.
- A nuanced and evolving viewpoint that acknowledges complexity and shows a willingness to learn.
The user identifies as a desister (someone who considered but did not medically transition) and their perspective aligns with that experience.
About me
I was a happy tomboy as a kid, but puberty made me hate my developing female body because of the shame and isolation I felt. I tried to look like a boy to escape the social difficulties of being a teenage girl, believing life would be easier. I now see that my desire to transition was really about low self-esteem and not fitting in. After high school, I grew out of those feelings and found people who value me for my personality, not my gender. I've accepted that I'm female, and I'm just glad I didn't make any permanent changes to my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a kid. I was always a tomboy. I liked boyish things, dressed in boys' clothes, and just wanted to be treated as an equal, as "one of the boys." I didn't want to be lumped in with the feminine girls or be seen as ditzy or without a brain. I just wanted to be me.
When I hit puberty, everything got much harder. That's when the real discomfort started. I hated it when my breasts started to develop because boys began sexualizing me and my male friends started avoiding me. Getting my period felt completely unfair, like I was being robbed of something. When I started getting body hair, if I didn't shave it, people called me gross. It was just a constant feeling of shame.
I also felt like being a girl was a competition I could never win. I couldn't compete with the ultra-feminine, popular girls at school because that just wasn't who I was. I felt shoved into a category I didn't fit into. Boys would treat me like I wasn't smart or like I was lying about my interests, like video games or music. I started to develop really sexist views towards women myself; I didn't trust them and I hated the idea of being one. I just wanted to be seen as a person of value, and I felt I couldn't be that if I was feminine in any way. So, for a while, I even altered my appearance to look like a boy.
I think a lot of my feelings were tied to low self-esteem and the anxiety of not fitting in. I see now that it was a form of escapism. I thought that if I could just escape being a girl, all my social problems would be solved. I believed that life would be easier as a boy. Now I realize both genders have a hard time, and it's more about your environment than anything else.
I never medically transitioned. I'm really glad I didn't. I grew out of those intense feelings of dysmorphia as I got older, especially after high school. Becoming an adult helped me see things differently. I surrounded myself with better people who treated me as an equal no matter how I dressed. I learned that my personality is what defines me, not my body parts. I accept that I'm female—I have the parts, but they don't define who I am. My personality ebbs and flows, and that's okay. Androgyny is wonderful, but it doesn't require a label.
I don't regret exploring my identity, but I'm very glad I didn't take any permanent steps. Looking back, my desire to transition was circumstantial, born out of puberty discomfort and a desperate need to escape the difficulties of being a teenage girl. I think if I had been a teenager today, I might have been influenced online to think I was trans or non-binary. But back then, we just called it being a tomboy.
Now, I think the best thing to do is stop labeling yourself. If I had to use a label, I'd say I'm a gender non-conforming cis female, but I don't really care about that stuff anymore. I'm just a person with female parts and a unique personality. The parts don't make the person. I distance myself from groups or people who are obsessed with labels because it brings me peace.
I also watched my little sister get sucked into identifying as trans. I know her better than anyone, and she has never had self-esteem or a solid identity because of an upbringing filled with trauma. I've watched her latch onto identity after identity over the years, and trans is the current one. It makes me angry and scared because I know it's just the latest thing for her, and she's only 15. My biggest fear is her damaging her body, which she already has a crippling hatred of. I believe strongly that kids should be allowed to express themselves socially, but medical transition like hormones or surgery is something I can't support. They have so much growing and finding themselves to do.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | I was a happy tomboy, just one of the boys. |
| Early Puberty (approx. 11-13) | Started hating my developing body (breasts, period, body hair) due to social shame and sexualization. Felt isolated and like I didn't fit the "girl" stereotype. |
| Teenage Years (approx. 14-17) | Altered my appearance to look like a boy. Felt intense body dysmorphia and a desire to escape being female. Held misogynistic views. |
| Late Teens/Early Adulthood | Grew out of the intense dysmorphia. Realized my value wasn't tied to my gender. Learned to accept myself as a female with an androgynous personality. Stopped using labels. |
Top Comments by /u/ThatSpookyTree:
My little sister got sucked into this as well. I know her better than anyone, and she has never had sef esteem or an identity due to an upbringing of trauma and no father so ive watched her latch on to identity after identity over the years and trans is now the current one and it pisses me off so much because i know shes not, its just the latest fad. Shes only 15, she has a lot of growing to do. My biggest fear is her damaging her body which she already has a crippling hatred of. I grew out of my dysmorphia as a teen.. it just makes me mad
For your mental and physical health, I'd definitely take up your parents help for a breast reduction if you think it would benefit you a lot. My grandma had enormous breasts that caused her back issues and also torment in school. Id get a reduction myself, but I know if I lost weight they would get smaller so surgery isn't on the table for me. I wish you luck on your inner journey, you got this.
Well, I think all you have to do is look at the story's of ftm detransitioners, and read why they transitioned in the first place.
Once my breasts started coming in, I wanted them gone because boys started sexualizing me and avoiding me.
Once I started bleeding I felt remorse and that it was completely unfair, I felt I was being robbed of something.
When I started getting body hair, if I didn't shave it off people called me gross. More shame.
As we drifted away from adolescence, boys started treating me like I'm not smart because I'm a girl. Or that I have no interests or hobbies. If I said I liked video games or listening to Weezer I was called a liar. If I tried to give ideas they were shut down because I wasn't a boy.
Being a girl became a competition I couldn't win, I couldn't compete with the ultra feminine popular girls at my school because that wasn't who I was.
I felt shoved into a category I didn't fit into, so I was stuck in the outside nether. Some other things happened I don't feel like mentioning, and I started hating women. I didn't trust them, I had sexist misogynistic views of them. I just wanted to be one of the boys like I used to be, an equal. Someone of value. I couldn't be of value if I was even the least bit feminine. So I turned my back on it all and, yeah. There you go.
And here we are now.
A lot of ftm I feel are here because of this feeling that if they don't fit into this tiny box of stereotypes then they aren't women. Puberty brings isolation in a very unforgiving kind of way, and a lot of girls just can't deal with the side effects.
Sounds incredibly anxiety based, reminds me of when i have super intrusive anxiety thoughts especially the crazier ones like "i dont exist, nothing is real, i am actually dead rn". Of course its not true, and if i humor it my mental health will just get worse the more i obsess over it.
It's interesting how we see men saying the same thing too in this sub. "Being A sucks, B clearly has an easier time, so I'm going to become B." Only realizing that both genders have a shit time, especially based on environment both at home and around us outside in the world.
Ok listen as someone who has PCOS myself, you need to tell your doc that your period has not come back in this long because its super dangerous for your uterine lining to not shed. Mine disappeared for 4 months and my doc said if it hit 6 motnhs she would have to do it manually.
" If ovulation does not occur, progesterone is not made, and the lining is not shed. The endometrium may continue to grow in response to estrogen. The cells that make up the lining may crowd together and may become abnormal. This condition, called hyperplasia, can lead to cancer. " Please be careful.
The best thing to do is just stop labeling. If I were to label myself I'd be a gnc cis female. I don't care about that stuff anymore, grew out of it in high school. I'm just a person who has female parts and my personality is rockin and unique. That's really how we should all look at ourselves. A person with parts, with a unique personality. The parts don't make the person, your personality does. Fuck labels and stereotypes. Be yourself
I just distance myself from groups obsessed with labels, or people that are obsessed with labels. Brings me peace
Yeah I'm not really a supporter of kids transitioning. I'm a supporter of self expression of course, and letting them explore themselves ie social transition, but medical transition? Hormones? Surgeries? Im sorry but I can't support that. They still have so much growing to do and finding themselves.
Ever since I was a kid I've always been "gnc" "androgynous" "nonbinary" but back then there wasn't really a good word for it so I just said I was a tomboy. I never based my entire personality off of it, or give my self an ego boosting identifier that made me special. I just said, hey, I'm different, and I really don't care lol. Honestly because of my thought process I see self identifying non binary gnc etc people who make a big deal out of it a bit cringe nowadays. It doesn't make you special, it just makes you human. I wish more people would get that. Oh wow, you don't like things stereotypical to your biological gender? You must be so special, haha.
Humans are complex, there isn't any right way to be human. So live and let live.
I am though curious, is if it's a choice to be trans. Id like to think it is. Going by the dysmorphia/dysphoria, it obviously is since you choose to transition or not. What about the people that say they were born that way? Is that centered in any science?
I myself would like to think that most of not all trans identities are purely circumstantial. If thats a toxic way of thinking then I'd love to be informed, you guys are such a great resource for opening my mind.