This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly personal, detailed, and consistent over a long period. They share specific, believable experiences with HRT (dosage, effects, side effects like breast growth and sexual function), detransition social dynamics, and internal reasoning that aligns with known detransitioner narratives. The writing style is natural, with casual errors and a conversational tone that is difficult to fake consistently. The passion and criticism directed at transgender ideology are consistent with a genuine, albeit angry, desister/detransitioner perspective.
About me
I was born male and my journey started when I began questioning my gender at 26, seeking an identity and validation through transitioning. I now see I was using it as escapism from my real-life problems and was influenced by a very persuasive online community. After detransitioning for the final time, I'm left with physical changes like breast tissue and altered sexual function that I deeply regret. I've learned that my purpose isn't defined by gender, and I'm now focused on self-acceptance. It's a lonely path, but I'm finally learning to be kind to myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was really about searching for an identity. I think a lot of us take our relationships and make them our identity, and when we lose that, we try to find a new one. For me, that search got conflated with gender dysphoria.
I was born male. I started identifying as a trans woman and went on HRT, taking Estradiol and Spiro for about six months. I also transitioned socially, making a big deal about it when I went in. Looking back, a huge part of it was a need for validation. My parents and several other people in my life stopped talking to me when I came out, so getting a driver's license that had my new gender identity on it made me feel valid and seen. It gave me a sense of euphoria because I finally felt important to someone.
But I also realize now that I was using transition as a form of escapism. Every time I wanted to transition, it was during a bad time in my life when I just wanted to be someone else. When I was focused on transitioning, I didn't have to see that my relationship was failing or deal with the pain of not seeing my kid every day. It was a way to run from my problems.
I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I think I was influenced by online communities. The trans community can feel very cult-like; they show you love, then they isolate you and try to turn you against everyone else. I felt like I was sold a narrative that dresses and hormones could fix the feeling that something was missing in my life.
I detransitioned after being on and off HRT for about a year and a half. I actually transitioned and detransitioned twice, trying to figure myself out. The moment I really knew it wasn't for me was about two weeks after I finally got the critics out of my life. When the people who made it their business what I wore were gone, I realized I had been so involved in the fight that I never checked my reasons for doing it. Without the opposition, the need to be trans just evaporated.
Coming off hormones was its own challenge. I lost about 70% of my breast size within three weeks of stopping, but I still have breast tissue left. I constantly wear baggy shirts now because I’m self-conscious about it. I hate that I have to think so much about how I present to the world. I also experienced changes in my sexuality. After stopping HRT, I felt little to no attraction to anyone and thought I was becoming asexual. It took time, but my attractions came back, though they function differently now; I need more foreplay to get going. My erectile function is still improving nearly six months later.
I have some serious regrets about taking hormones. The medical side was not explained well to me. I was told my testicles might shrink, but I didn't realize that was tied to erectile health. Had I known how impossibly hard it would be to get rid of breast tissue or the potential impact on sexual function, I wouldn't have done it. I regret doing it way more than I ever worried about missing out. I often think about top surgery because of my chest, but from what I've seen, the results often look botched, so I’ve decided against it.
My thoughts on gender have changed completely. I think a huge problem now is the idea that if you wonder about being the other gender, you must be trans. But gender curiosity is a common human thing. Most people probably go through it. I adopted a philosophy that it's not your thoughts but what you do that matters. You can want to be born a woman and still choose to live as a cis man. I still have days where I wonder "what if," but they are far fewer than the mornings I woke up in a panic attack about who I was becoming.
I lost everyone when I transitioned, and then I lost my trans friends when I detransitioned. It’s a lonely road, but it showed me that not everyone transitions for the right reasons. Some are lured into it, some are force-fed ideology. If the community casts you aside for detransitioning, it’s because you become a mirror showing them their flaws.
I’ve benefited from stepping away and working on self-acceptance. I quit smoking and drinking by doing it for myself, not for others, and I’ve applied that same idea to my gender. This journey has taught me to be kind to myself and to understand that my purpose in life isn’t defined by my gender or my genitals.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 26 | First started questioning my gender identity and began identifying as trans. |
| 26 | Started HRT (Estradiol and Spiro). |
| 26 | Stopped HRT after 6 months and detransitioned for the first time. |
| 27 | Restarted HRT and social transition. |
| 27 | Stopped HRT again and fully detransitioned after removing critics from my life. |
| 28 | Present day, continuing to navigate life post-detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/TheGrandTriangle:
A big breakthrough for me was when I was hooking up with a trans woman. She would say stuff like "shove it in my 😺" . Which she could only do if she had a couple shots first to not feel it as much . It was a realization that so much of this is a big game of pretend that if you dont side with you're a bigot. Like if thats your hoo haa do you not have an a-hole? The more I thought on it the more it unraveled.
Every so often I think about top surgery because I have larger breasts for a man . I am yet to see a top surgery that doesn't looked botched. Even the good ones. I have seen good and bad vaginoplasty( probably mispelled) . Yet mascetomy seems like just butchering. From what I have seen of course.
Fortunately I hit the brakes way before that. I am truly sorry for your situation it seems impossible. My advice is , find a good therapist. Hopefully thats not generic advice but really shop around. Find one that will hear you out without pushing you into a life you dont want. Really work on self acceptance, I know this is coming from someone not where you are. However finding self acceptance, helps us find purpose. Your purpose obviously isnt your genitals. Lastly a woman who cant have a child , or a man who cannot have an erection is not any less of their gender. Do not put too much pressure on yourself. Be the best version of a man you can be and help others the way you were not.
Idk , I wouldn't consider them hiding if they're in all honesty living the life they want. I think the heinous thing about the community is telling everyone they're trans if they do something non-conforming. They live in a gray space of gender doesnt matter yet its everything. I would say its the reverse of the problem to say they're not being themselves because we detrasitioned. Truly I think the problem is the cult like attitude around the trans community. Plus if you challenge that now , they're the loud and dominant mob so good luck. Anyone who voices concern instantly is labeled bigot regardless of their journey. I still watch a few trans fluencers that I dont find pushy but I like their fashion stuff and content. I think the biggest change for me was really getting over being self centered. The trans community is very much "its all about us". They aggressively push the narrative that everyone is out to get them. If you are trans you feel like youre under the microscope. When I deleted stuff from my Facebook from that time I couldnt believe how cringe it was. It was like a different person entirely. Now I just post memes and dont want people to see me. That point I felt like I was on stage all the time.
I think the "way people reacted" line is b.s . Psychology usually goes when were faced with opposition to our convictions we dig in deeper. You see this alot with bible thumpers. When people I knew objected to me being trans I left. I got my own place etc. Two weeks later I realized I don't identify as trans. Id love if someone did an actual study on the reasons of detransioning. Not just a one size fits all answer of "pEoPle WeRe MEan TO tHEm".
The "you're not with us youre against us" attitude that the world seems to be painted in these days sucks. I see it with this or with politics. I just dont get why you have differences with someone or a group and you have to wish them violence or death. Then somehow you can say youre the good guy. That you're just a victimized minority. Gross.
My personal view is the trans regret numbers are very skewed. Considering how relatively new alot of this has become in the mainstream, the numbers cited often seem from a different time when things were more "gate kept" and you had to be positive with what you were doing.
I think this group is pretty balanced for the most part. If you want an echo chamber its not a good place to be . Some people here are gender critical. Some not. Far from Facebook groups I am in that go from "I regret transition " to "violence against the ideology " in a matter of seconds . Lol .
As others said face is femme body isnt. From what you posted the chest area looks flatter (dont need to answer) Clothes that dont hug to you would help. If youre comfortable changing your style to more dresses ,etc it would help. Id say hair will help alot once it grows.
I agree with this. I went back and forth with my gender and hrt thinking I was just dealing with impostor syndrome.
Then when I sat down and mapped out why I wanted to transition. Everytime it was a bad time in my life and wanted to be someone else.