This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user's story is detailed, personal, and consistent across multiple posts, focusing on their specific experience with trauma as a root cause for their gender dysphoria and subsequent desisting. The passion and anger directed at "gender-affirming care" and "extremist trans ideologists" are consistent with the genuine perspectives found in the detrans community.
About me
I was born male, and my journey started with deep trauma and humiliation from being forced to cross-dress as a child. I later believed I was trans as a way to escape that pain, and a therapist even encouraged me to transition without addressing my past. Thankfully, I found a trauma specialist who helped me see my dysphoria was really a coping mechanism for unhealed pain. I chose to desist, which was about taking control of my life back from my trauma. Now I am just a man finally healing and living in truth, free from any labels.
My detransition story
My journey started with a lot of pain that I didn't understand. Looking back, I now see that my desire to transition was a way to cope with deep-seated trauma, not a true identity. I was born female, and from a young age, I experienced several traumatic events that shaped how I saw myself.
The first major trauma was being raised in an environment filled with misandry, which gave me a deep-seated shame about being male. Then, when I was a child, I was forced to cross-dress and then publicly humiliated in front of my family for it. The mental abuse that followed was constant; my family wouldn't let me forget it and used it to punish me. To cope with the PTSD from all of this, I developed a serious porn addiction. This started with cross-dressing themes and eventually escalated into trans-themed content. Later in my life, after a separate physically traumatic surgery, these feelings intensified and pushed me hard toward believing I was trans.
I was deeply depressed, had terrible anxiety, and my self-esteem was non-existent. I now see my "dysphoria" as a form of body dysmorphia and a way to escape from myself. I hated the male aspects of my body and wanted to get rid of them. I truly believed that transitioning was the only way to be happy. I found a gender-affirming therapist, but that was a huge mistake. She refused to talk about my trauma. Her exact words were, "Why deal with your trauma? Just transition and be happy." She was there to fast-track me, not to help me heal.
Thankfully, I never started hormones or had any surgeries. I came incredibly close, but something stopped me. I decided to leave that therapist and instead found a trauma therapist who specialized in EMDR and CBT. Working with her, I slowly began to unravel all the pain from my past. I learned that I wasn't trans; I was a man trying to soothe his trauma any way he could. "Being trans" was an unhealthy coping mechanism. It was me accepting my trauma as my identity instead of dealing with it.
Desisting was the best decision I ever made. It wasn't about being embarrassed or ashamed of almost transitioning. It was about taking control of my life back from my trauma and choosing to live in truth. I don't regret exploring these feelings because it ultimately led me to the real work of healing. But I am so grateful I stopped before making any permanent changes to my body.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's often used as a simple solution for very complex problems. For me, and I think for many others, the real issue wasn't gender at all—it was unhealed pain. I benefited immensely from non-affirming therapy because it actually addressed the root cause. I don't use labels like trans or detrans for myself anymore. I feel like those labels can keep you stuck in that trauma. I'm just me, a man who is finally dealing with what was hurting him.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Experienced forced cross-dressing and subsequent humiliation and mental abuse. |
| Teen Years/Young Adulthood | Developed porn addiction as a coping mechanism for PTSD. |
| Early 20s | Underwent a separate physically traumatic surgery; trans feelings intensified. |
| 24 | Saw a gender-affirming therapist who encouraged transition and ignored my trauma. |
| 25 | Left gender-affirming therapy and began seeing a trauma therapist. Began processing childhood trauma. |
| 25 | Desisted from transition after understanding the trauma roots of my dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/TheNarcissisticMonk:
Ignore them. That person has a psychosis and the only way that they can validate it is if they invalidate people who are taking back their lives from trauma. You have a stronger head on your shoulders than they will ever admit. Feel sorry for them because they will continue to live in addiction and trauma and you will live in genuine truth.
I'm sorry you're going thru this. We see you and continue to encourage you to do what's right for you.
I personally managed to desist before transitioning, but if I can offer any advice I'll try. embarrassment is shame about something you don't like about yourself, or a situation. In this case, you've learned more about yourself so you're becoming a better version of yourself. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
I don't know your story, but you'll find most people here fought shame, trauma, addictions, and ultimately gave into what I call "Living in Trauma" where you accept your trauma/addiction/shame as who you are instead of what you are dealing with. For me, desisting was me taking control of my life, not living in trauma, and living in truth. Truth being who I am, not what is hurting me.
Personally I feel like giving yourself a label like trans or detrans or whatever is letting you live in your trauma, whatever that may be. Instead, you are dealing with detransitioning after learning more about yourself and what is trauma, and what is truth. So you should be proud. You're brave enough to face your trauma and move beyond it's control.
As for why you haven't seem anything to help detrans, well honestly it's because the extremist trans ideologists would tell people that detrans isn't real. So they've been aggressive towards anyone speaking out and telling folks there is another option. I was afraid to speak out for the longest time, but not anymore. It seems that only within this last year, even the last few months that this community is starting to be brave enough to reach out and discuss.
No idea if anything I said is helpful, but if you need someone to talk to, we are here.
Heres my personal experience. Find a Trauma Therapist. You have something in your childhood that has caused you to have dysphoria. Gender affirming therapist will unfortunately ignore your trauma and railroad you into transition. My GA therapist literally said, "why deal with your trauma? Just transition and be happy."
Come to find out I had several childhood traumas that helped push me down the road to trans. First was misandry, second was being forced to cross dress then humiliated in front of my family, third was being mentally abused afterwards regarding cross dressing as I was trying to deal with the ptsd of the event. Picked up porn addiction as a coping mechanism, and it escalated from cross dressing to trans quickly later in life after a physically traumatic surgery.
You have trauma even if you don't remember. Find a Trauma Therapist and heal. If after that you still feel that way, then consider other options like transition.
My experience is that you need to take the time to heal from your past trauma. Everyone has some sort of trauma in their past. That trauma drives you in ways you never thought it could. It's a virus that seeps into your soul and if you don't heal it, it will take over your life.
Focus on finding a trauma therapist. I recommend someone who specializes in EMDR, or CBT therapies. Heal your trauma and if you still feel the need to transition after that, then it's time to move forward. But make sure you are not living in trauma first.
Legit question: what are your traumas? Do you remember? My honest and personal experience is that if you've been to a gender affirming therapist, leave them. They are not there to figure out why you feel the way you do. They are there to fast track your transition.
Childhood trauma led me down the trans road but my GAT refused to help me understand my trauma. I was trying to soothe my trauma any way I could, and for a time I lived in the trauma by accepting I was trans. But with proper support and breaking down each trauma I understand I'm not trans. Trans was a unhealthy coping mechanism for my trauma.
Try reaching out to a trauma therapist. Break down everything. Understanding your trauma and addictions and escalating behaviors could save you the pain of transitioning, only to discover your trauma led you there all along and detransision, permanently effecting your body in ways you can't fully heal.
Take a look at my posts here, they go into all this in much more detail.