This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, deeply personal narrative of identifying as non-binary and then detransitioning, with specific, repeated reasons (escaping stereotypes, discomfort with sexualization).
- Complex emotional introspection and self-reflection on their past beliefs and the process of change, which is difficult to fabricate.
- A nuanced, evolving perspective that acknowledges their own past actions within the community and the pain of their realization.
- Appropriate engagement with others on the subreddit, offering support and sharing experiences in a way that aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister perspective.
The passion and criticism towards transgender healthcare and ideology are consistent with the genuine anger and hurt many in the detrans community express.
About me
I started feeling uncomfortable with my body as a teenager and was told online that this meant I wasn't a female. I identified as non-binary for a couple of years, but I eventually realized my identity was based on stereotypes and a deep unhappiness with myself. I learned that my feelings were common and that I didn't need a new label to be free. I am now a gender-nonconforming female who understands that my personality has nothing to do with my sex. I'm just grateful I found self-acceptance before making any permanent changes to my body.
My detransition story
My journey started when I was a teenager, around 14 or 15. I began to feel really uncomfortable with my body, especially as I was going through puberty. I hated developing breasts and getting my period; it all felt wrong and foreign. I didn't fit in with the other girls at school who were into more stereotypically feminine things, and I felt like an outcast. I was also deeply uncomfortable with the idea of being sexualised and judged just for being a girl. I felt there were all these expectations placed on me that I couldn't live up to.
Around that time, I was spending a lot of time online and was introduced to LGBTQ+ communities. Someone suggested that my discomfort might mean I wasn't really a girl, and that I could be non-binary. This idea immediately appealed to me. It felt like an escape. If I wasn't a girl, then all those expectations and the discomfort I felt with my changing body wouldn't be my problem anymore. I started using they/them pronouns and identified as non-binary for about two years.
For a while, it felt great. My friends in the community were very affirming. They told me I was "valid" and that they were my real family. This constant external validation felt good in the moment, but I slowly became dependent on it. I started to realise that my "euphoria" from being called they/them wasn't proof of a true identity, but proof that I was deeply unhappy with myself. I was trying to fix an internal problem with an external label.
I began to do a lot of soul-searching. I watched videos and read stories from older women and detransitioners. I learned that it's actually very common for teenage girls to feel discomfort with their bodies during puberty; it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. I also had a big realisation: my entire identity as non-binary was based on gender stereotypes. I thought that because I didn't like dresses or makeup and preferred more "boyish" activities, I couldn't be a girl. But that thinking just reinforces the very stereotypes I hated. I was rejecting myself.
I understood that I didn't need to change my identity to be free; I needed to accept myself. Being a girl doesn't mean you have to act or look a certain way. I can be a girl and still be me—a person who is masculine, feminine, or anywhere in between. That’s what true freedom is.
I don't regret my social transition in the sense that it was a necessary part of my journey to understanding myself. But I do regret the time I lost being miserable and confused, and I deeply regret buying into an ideology that promotes self-rejection instead of self-acceptance. I am thankful every day that I realised this before I made any permanent, medical changes to my body. I never took hormones or had any surgeries.
I now see that the community I was in, while it seemed supportive, was actually manipulative. It made me dependent on validation and separated me from critical thinking. They presented medical transition as a simple solution for complex feelings, which is incredibly dangerous, especially for young people.
I now identify as a gender-nonconforming female. I'm also bisexual. My thoughts on gender are that it is not a feeling. You can't "feel" like a man or a woman; you just are. Your interests, personality, and how you express yourself have nothing to do with your sex. The focus should be on abolishing harmful stereotypes, not on changing our bodies to fit into them.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-15 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty (breasts, periods) and not fitting female stereotypes. |
| 15 | Discovered LGBTQ+ communities online; was introduced to the concept of being non-binary. |
| 15 | Began identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns socially. |
| 16-17 | Lived as non-binary; relied heavily on external validation from online communities. |
| 17 | Began to question my identity after soul-searching and learning about body dysmorphia in puberty. |
| 17 | Realised my non-binary identity was based on rejecting gender stereotypes, not a true identity. |
| 17 | Stopped identifying as non-binary and returned to using she/her pronouns. Detransitioned socially. |
| Present (18) | Living as a gender-nonconforming female; focused on self-acceptance and healing. |
Top Comments by /u/TheOldLazySoul:
If I were to go into a room of flat-earthers and declare the earth is round while presenting solid evidence, I'd get boo'ed and chased out too.
Don't feel disheartened by this. Some people simply never learn until their own stupid decisions bite them in the ass. That being said, spending time away from trans focused social media platforms will undoubtedly do you some good as it has many others. Ignore the LGBTQ+ cultists are just live life for yourself.
I say cancel it. This isn't a surgery you should get when there is still doubt. You're getting this surgery for you and only you, don't give weight to the opinions of others. Also, if you cancel it now but realise that you actually do want it, then you can schedule another operation. If you get the surgery and realise only afterwards that you want your breasts back, it would be too late. There's no going back after surgery.
Never, and I mean never ever rush decisions like this. No one has their shit figured out at 18. Give yourself time to reflect and feel this newfound self acceptance. If you still have doubts despite affirmation, it's a strong sign that you need time to think things through, just like all of us did when we realised certain decisions weren't for us. You also mentioned trauma which is another common reason people feel uncomfortable with their bodies and people often mistake this uncomfortableness as proof they are transgender. Don't do anything permanent when there's still questions to be answered, especially trauma. Get to the root of your uncomfortableness with your body. It's usually not because you're transgender and because of more complex and unresolved issues.
Cancel the surgery and focus on yourself mentally. I wish you all the best and hope you'll be wholly comfortable with yourself one day. There's nothing wrong with your body.
It's so horrifying to think they let you make those decisions at such a young age... The medical system did you so wrong. I can't give any advice regarding this issue, but know that I'm wishing you all the best. This sub will always be here for you and be cheering you on. We're all in our turbulent journeys together.
While that was definitely the wrong place to paste that, contrary to the ire this has evoked in many, this post makes me feel strangely vindicated. It's frustrating to see LGBTQ stuff get heavily promoted with no acknowledgement at all regarding the harm it can and has caused. Just wanted to say if I had the guts to, I'd probably do the same thing out of pure, unreasonable spite. Everything LGBTQ just reminds me of how easily I was manipulated by that community, even though I know generalising all of them isn't the way to go about things. Emotions don't speak to reason sadly which is why they're so hard to manage.
You should definitely paste those stickers on a bulletin or some other approved space if you have some left to spare. They can't keep ignoring us forever. Besides, we aren't anti-lgbt or anti anyone. We're just pro self acceptance.
I feel the same way regarding transition, it's baffling to me how anyone can disagree especially when the transition involves children or those who are mentally ill. They like to put the blame on the ones who sought transition, but in that case, what the fuck is the point of doctors? We might as well just have a HRT vending machine at this point since we clearly don't give two shits about people. It's really frightening how this cohesive movement acts like unconditional affirmation is the way to go when it will and has ruined many lives.
For me, being non-binary was a way to escape gender stereotypes without doing anything about it. Back then, it made perfect sense to me because I found it impossible that humans only fit into two categories, male or female. And I was right, the stereotypes are ridiculous, but instead of fighting against them I just adopted a new gender in hopes I wouldn't be associated with them.
In other words, no matter what anyone tells you, 99% of the time someone is non-binary because of stereotypes. Why else would so many people opt for "they/them" pronouns? They think femininity and masculinity are what being a woman or a man is all about and don't want to be seen as either. Some NB females will go by "he" because of misogyny or because they fit better in male stereotypes of toughness and strength and some NB males will go by "she" because of misandry or because they fit better in female stereotypes of submissiveness and gentleness. They feel the pressure to dress and act a certain way and because they don't conform to it or because they're uncomfortable with how their body looks, they believe they can't be a female or male. As if everyone who isn't completely comfortable with their body and sex can't be that sex.
NBs will always tell you it's about "freedom" to be who they are. What they don't realise is that they're rejecting themselves while reinforcing gender stereotypes, promoting self-hate and self modification instead of self love. It only makes sense if you believe in stereotypes.
Detransitioning is for yourself and no one else. Even if everyone in your life will look down on you for doing so, if you know being trans will not make you happy in the long run, you have to detransition. Besides, I highly doubt anyone who truly cares about you will hit you with that insensitive "I told you so" response. Anyone with an ounce of empathy and love for you will understand that you were just a lost and confused teen looking for answers. Many of us were. I believe they'll be happy for you that you finally understood what is right for yourself and didn't do anything irreversible before then.
There's nothing to be afraid of. Those who love you will support you. I hope you can finally live a life that is true to yourself and slowly heal from all the pain you have.
They don't want to address the issues with the trans agenda/healthcare that we are living proof of. Hence, they just write us off as "not trans" so they can ignore anything we have to say about trans issues. They can't fathom being wrong. It all just goes to show how toxic and close-minded their community really is.
Multiple things.
Stories of older women and detransitioners. I always assumed people who aren't trans never felt discomfort in their bodies and since I hated my body when I just started going through puberty, I thought this was undeniable proof I was something other than a normal girl although I never felt this way growing up. However, a lot of studies and videos online told me that it was in fact common for girls to experience discomfort in their bodies when growing up, especially during puberty. This discomfort usually went away when the girls grew up and had fully matured. This made me realise maybe my discomfort didn't stem from the fact I was not a girl, but the fact I was disturbed by all the drastic changes happening in my body. Developing breasts, experiencing your first period etc, no teen girl has a blast going through that. That's what made me begin doubting as I thought maybe I'm just a girl who hasn't learnt to love herself.
Realising it was about gender stereotypes. I did a hell ton of soul searching. I badly didn't want to admit I wasn't non-binary, but I knew there was something wrong. There were questions I couldn't answer regarding my identity and that led me down the rabbit hole of my own insecurities. The more I watched gender critical and detransitioner videos, the more I realised they made sense. If I took masculine behaviour as proof I wasn't female, doesn't that mean females can't act feminine? I grew up with conservative parents who often told me "you're a girl so you can't do this", "you're a girl so you have to do this" etc and I hated it. It felt so unfair. I wished all these gender stereotypes didn't exist. That's what led me to identifying as non-binary, thinking I could escape it all if I did that. But that action only reinforced these stereotypes as I couldn't just be a girl and do all the things I want to do. I didn't fit in with the other girly girls and fit in better with the rowdy boys, but that doesn't mean I'm not a girl. I didn't need to change anything about myself to live as freely as I want to.
Understanding that just because something makes you "euphoric" doesn't mean it's helpful. For me, I identified as non-binary (nb) and went by they/them pronouns. These pronouns would make me feel "euphoric" and I felt validated whenever my friends referred to me by that. I thought this was another piece of evidence I wasn't a girl as "she/her" pronouns made me uneasy. But with my revelation that I wasn't non-binary, the harm done by my friends' unconditional affirmation became very apparent. Being happy with "they/them" pronouns was proof I was unhappy with myself and nothing more. While it made me feel "euphoric" in that instance, if my friends had continued affirming me and I continued to believe I was non-binary when I wasn't, I probably would've lived a very miserable life in denial of the truth and fighting for harmful causes.
What I've written above may not apply to you, but let me say one last thing: DON'T DO ANYTHING PERMANENT WHEN THERE'S STILL DOUBT. This isn't a decision to be made when you're not completely certain this is for you. Because if it ends up being wrong, there's no going back. If possible, please stop taking the hormones. If you realise you're trans later, you can just resume the hormone intake. If you realise you're not trans and have taken hormones for years, you'll have a lot of irreversible changes you'll have to live with for the rest of your life.
Leave absolutely no doubt when making this choice. From a fellow teen, I wish you all the best.
I find it so hard to believe as well. When did everyone go insane? When did we start thinking children were smart enough to make life altering decisions? Why is everyone chasing momentary happiness that will, for many, lead to immense regret and pain? We're neglecting complicated issues for a simple easy solution and it's so sad to see. You weren't a fool, you were hurt and you were brave to speak out when everyone else was regurgitating the same mindless opinion.