Sadly, it appears things have only gotten worse for therapists as an industry. We often think of them as more informed of the human psyche, yet they themselves seem to fall prey to numerous waves of manipulation. You'd think they would be more resistant to it. Instead quite a few are becoming the manipulators that make their patient's lives worse.

Unfortunately patients don't often have the expertise to choose the best therapist for themselves.

The life ahead can be hard given what was done to you, but it can be overcome. This is why this community was made, to help those who have been scarred by the confusion and hidden risks. Look to those who have been dealt a horrific hand, quadriplegics, spinal cord injuries, blindness, diabetes, and so on, yet still they push forward, not just enduring, but enjoying life. You can too.

You need not be alone in the struggle. Accept hands if they have earned your trust, but at times some do need a leap of faith if the hole is deep enough, and time lacking. You've already done the first step by posting here, thank you for that.

The very essence of being trans is discontent, as it means someone has negative feelings toward what they physically are, (unless we get into vague gender . This is not necessarily bad, its just how things are. It would be like comparing a community of people desiring to be slimmer in weight, to a community that accepts what weight they are at.

You are among many here who are just like you and were told lies. The pain can be understood, and be overcome. Do not die to a world that hates you and used you. Instead, help us and yourself find and be the solution. Even now your voice is being heard. You need not face this alone. There is more to life than this drama, and you can move past to. But first you must endure. Let us be that net of true comfort.

What was done to you is terrible. I see it no more justified than a pedophile having legal sex with a minor just because they had consent papers signed. Every adult involved in that medical process is guilty, but they are too arrogant to see the truth.

That all said, even what is ruined can be repaired and rebuilt. Suffering loss is apart of life just as much as our joys, but we can better for it if we stand up and learn to be strong in spite of it. Form bonds with loving competent people, and be willing to learn, and you can make it out of the pit of despair a better person than what you started as. It worked for many here, along with millions of others who also had horrific life events. But we chose to survive and ultimately enjoy life still. We need not have our scars define us.

When focusing on hating, on what other people think, its very easy to have a negative existence.

Stop caring about what other people do, and start focusing on what one enjoys and quality of life will go up greatly.

I say this because its exactly what I went through. I wasted so much time demanding people act a specific way, caring what they think, that I realized I was living through them, rather than through myself.

Thanks for the horror story. As hard as it is, tales like yours need to be heard. The politics of gender and sexual biology definitely intermingled to create this tragic scenario. In a weird way I'm glad Covid showed you how little sex and gender matters in the face of death, but of course, the cost is very deep. Hope you have a good recovery. I've heard pretty bad aftermath stories of not being able to taste things or breath well.

If you want a serious answer, its that your freedom is more important than your safety, even as a minor that is otherwise too young to maturely decide such permanent things.

But your life is not beyond saving. There are more important things than sex and gender, and plenty of the disabled, be it cosmetic or serious injuries, are able to live life fruitfully and in joy despite such tragedies.

You have the power to find help, true help, not through physical offers, but there are people, such as here and beyond, that know your suffering and and can share their lives with you.

I've been close to your position, but much to my fortune I desisted before most of the physical pain. For me I recovered when I made a mental switch that my identity did not need to be so tied to being something, especially for gender and sex identity. I learned to live with what I have and even learned to enjoy it. In the end I realized I was a prisoner in my own mind and I was the torturer to myself.

I would not be so eager to assign guilt to yourself. Sure, some of it may be on you, but a wave of culture and ideology can shape us incredibly at our most vulnerable, when we are ignorant, confused, or desperate. Even worse is if it is not a statistical wave of society (forum-goers, movies, media), but personal friends, parents, who keep pushing gender and biological sex to be zealously valued in our identities as some sort of idol that will bring about salvation.

I was blessed to have a more balanced perspective before deciding on body alterations, but I could have easily been in your shoes or worse if I had been conceived in a different place and time (such as in today's generation of western schooling). So I blame what society has done to you, far more than you to you.

Just know that regardless of gender or sexual identity, that you are valued. I've far more worth in what I do now, than what some ideology demanded I be (in gender, sex) for some virtue signalling they can feed off of in our victimhood. We need not be victims, especially not to them.

I know not the specific state of your body, but be active in keeping it in balance. Going cold turkey can be horrible in its own way (I learned that the hard way). Be actively vigilant in finding counter-drugs or methods that can mend yourself. While it can be annoying for doctors who have been trained to only push you to be trans, in a way they too have been forcibly shaped by culture to act and behave against their patients (like you). Wish them well, and find other more wise doctors who can aid you.

Same with mental health, go find a community you can engage with on spiritual level, or even just a practical one, such as a gym club. The sense of being healthy in all ways possible, supported by those who can pick you up when you are downed by depression and pain, is incredibly important. You might even meet others who you can help mutually, as they help you.