This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed narratives about their transition, detransition, and the complex physical and emotional consequences (e.g., specific effects of testosterone, voice training struggles, personal dating history).
- Consistent internal logic in their critiques of both transgender and detransitioner communities, showing nuanced and evolving viewpoints.
- Emotional depth that includes anger, regret, insecurity, and self-reflection, which aligns with the expected passion of someone who has experienced significant harm.
There are no serious red flags suggesting this is a bot or an inauthentic account. The writing is coherent, personally detailed, and emotionally consistent with a genuine detransitioner's experience.
About me
I started exploring gender online as a young teen, treating new labels like a fun game to feel special. My jealousy of male bodies was really about escaping the difficulties of female puberty and the pain of romantic rejection. I started testosterone at 16 to prove I was a real man, but it didn't fix my self-hatred or my toxic relationship. I detransitioned because living as a man was exhausting, and I've made peace with being female. Now I'm a woman living with a permanently changed voice and body, trying to find my own style while being bullied for not looking "normal."
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I'm still figuring things out. It all started when I was really young. I was first exposed to the idea of being "born in the wrong body" way before I ever thought I was trans. When I was 13 or 14, I got really into xenogenders and neopronouns. It was like a fun game, coming up with a label for every little feeling, but I don't think I fully believed in it. It was just a way to be a kid and feel special.
Around that time, I started to feel jealous of male bodies. I think a big part of it was that I was dissociating a lot, especially during puberty. Being treated like a girl felt like I had to face my own existence and all the sexism that comes with it. I felt like people didn't take me seriously when I was upset; they just saw me as a "crazy and weak" girl. I also idolized men, especially the ones I was romantically attracted to. When they rejected me, I'd start mimicking them, trying to become the kind of guy I wanted to be with. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy because they were often rejecting me for being trans.
By the time I was 15 or 16, I had moved into trans medicalist beliefs. This shift happened after a really bad romantic rejection. I started to believe that to be truly trans, you had to want the opposite sex's body and you had to pass. I wanted to prove I was really trans by transitioning "completely," no matter how much it might lower my quality of life. I think now that this might have been a symptom of mania, where I traced every problem back to being trans and saw hormones as the only solution.
I started testosterone when I was 16. I took it because I was trying so hard to pass as male and getting angry that nothing was working. On T, I did pass as male to a lot of people, but it didn't fix anything. I still didn't like myself. I was lonely, and the relationship I was in was toxic; my boyfriend was very mentally ill and would call me while harming himself. Emotionally, T wasn't awful. I could still feel happy and I could still cry. But physically, the first month and the period after stopping were the worst. Now I feel incredibly fatigued.
I never got any surgeries, and I'm so glad I didn't. I considered bottom surgery, but the waitlists were long and I was a minor. I'm relieved it never became possible. I was also lucky that I never wanted top surgery too badly. My family has a history of breast cancer, and I have small breasts, so I was always nervous about the possibility of needing a mastectomy someday. Ironically, after taking T, I started to appreciate breasts more—I guess I found I was a "boobs guy."
I started to detransition because I began to hate the constant effort. I hated needing to hide my past, change my body, and live up to male standards. It felt like a losing game. I realized that trying to be male was exhausting, and I no longer minded being physically female. I decided that being a woman isn't the same as being who the world wants me to be. I'm female, and that's okay. I even have some fondness for the male version of me, but half of that is because I became the kind of guy I wanted to date, and the other half is that I did like some aspects of being a guy.
Now, I'm insecure because my body isn't as feminine as it used to be. My voice is lower than half the guys around me, and I have a visible Adam's apple, which I actually wanted as a kid, but now it makes people question if I'm a man. I get bullied for it, even by people younger than me. They won't accept "I'm female and a woman" as an answer. I'll never feel "normal." I'm trying to find an androgynous style, but it's hard when it just makes me look like an actual boy, and I'm not 14 anymore.
Looking back, I see transitioning as an extreme body modification that a lot of gender nonconforming and mentally ill people go through. I think gender dysphoria is often a symptom of other problems, not a standalone issue. For me, it was about dissociation and building an ideal persona to escape from myself. I don't regret my transition 100%, because it led me to where I am now, but I do think the idea that everyone with dysphoria should medically transition is harmful. People need extensive therapy, not encouragement to lie to their doctors to get hormones. I believe my transition was a choice I made for complex reasons, and now my detransition is another choice. Gender is just a word, and I can be a woman, or a man, or neither, whenever I want. I'm just trying to live my life now.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 10 years old | Briefly exposed to transmed ideas, but quickly moved on. |
| 13-14 years old | Identified with xenogenders/neopronouns. Started feeling jealousy of male bodies. |
| 15-16 years old | Adopted transmedicalist beliefs after a romantic rejection. Felt a need to transition completely to be "really trans." |
| 16 years old | Started taking testosterone. |
| 16/17 years old | Realized I no longer wanted surgery after being on T. Began to detransition. |
| 17 years old | Stopped testosterone. |
| Present (17/18?) | Living as a woman, dealing with the permanent physical changes from testosterone. |
Top Comments by /u/Thin_Entertainment14:
Being trans can be used to explain a host of things like being discontent with your body, not fitting in with the same sex, or feeling envious of the opposite sex. It can also feel novel and freeing, especially for young people or older adults, to reinvent your personality and image in a radical way. You can become special or you can chase the dream of fitting in depending on how someone sees transition.
Authority figures and peers may choose who you are for you and coming out as trans might be part of a wider "I'm not who you think I am!" moment. You see other misfits coming out of the woodwork saying they like yoai because they're a gay guy inside and you see yourself in them, so now you're a trans man too. Or you've always wished you could wear dresses and your friend came out as a trans woman and she's wearing dresses outside of the house, so you get the confidence to do the same thing because being a trans woman "allows" you to do so.
It's cope. It's all cope, brother.
If they were genuinely fine being female, they wouldn't transition. They don't want to be female for what are honestly valid reasons and that's why they must avoid saying it. It's not very complex. The more differentiated from other men they are, the closer to being treated as women they are.
I know that sometimes hormones are used as a last ditch effort, but I believe me transitioning initially was a symptom of mania. Some antidepressants can also trigger mania/hypomania. Unfortunately it's not always possible to realize until it's run its course. I would find a way to trace all suicidal thoughts back to being trans, therefore I was 'otherwise sound'. All the effects? Of course I want those! In fact, I'm not going to get help because the doctors might argue with me and not prescribe the hormones that I NEED!!
For the trans community that prides itself on being kind to nearly anybody, they'd probably say me transitioning was all my fault and I should've seen a shrink. The same people who are going to turn around and tell somebody to lie to their doctor. That medical transitions shouldn't need any screening beyond signing a paper and paying up to be prescribed.
Yes and often people will log their complications or botched surgeries on there. Or they post what their genitals look like shortly after surgery or between procedures, which can be unfair to judge. Occasionally there will be people who get procedures with the goal of having mixed genitalia or none.
Sometimes I remember that there's a large portion of people in real life who aren't wild for trans people and if I just go outside for a couple minutes I will find them.
But it's a Russian roulette whether they're the same people who viscerally hate them and will act ugly towards me for having transitioned, so I get nervous.
They always prefer the narrative that everyone can go through the experience of detransitioning with no lasting trauma to their body nor psyche. That if you've taken T or had a phalloplasty you can just walk out of the house and be a woman with no difficulty. Because you're "cis" now and you're the enemy when in the end you're being boiled in the same pot.
When I first heard about trans people, I don't think I ever heard someone say "transmasc/fem" and now people use it to refer to anybody. Can't say "woman". It has to be "femmes" or "female presenting individuals" to some people. I identified as a trans man when I transitioned but was always at most relegated to the strange term transmasc.
One of the reasons I would sometimes wear feminine clothing while presenting male is that if I passed while wearing something feminine that meant my body and demeanor were masculine enough that clothing obviously made for women looked disturbing.
In my eyes the MTF equivalent is "boy-moding" because some people will style themselves as male until outsiders think they're a masculine woman.
In my experience, once I tried to pass as male it made me angrier that nothing I did was working. That's why I took T in the first place.
Some of these people believe they are trying very hard to pass as male and upset they don't. Some believe the world should bend to them and we should automatically deny womanhood to everybody who looks to be female.
There are people who accept it's not the same and still see it as an improvement and there are people who want to believe we'll be able to turn ovaries into balls and grow a whole dick in a lab. I'm glad the majority of the trans community does realize when they don't want bottom surgery because "the technology isn't there".