This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user demonstrates a consistent, personal narrative of detransitioning, expresses complex and evolving opinions, and shows self-reflection over time. There are no clear red flags suggesting it's a bot or an inauthentic account. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the experiences of many detransitioners.
About me
I was a butch lesbian for years before societal pressure made me feel like I had to be a trans man. I started testosterone and got top surgery, but the medical process felt rushed and ignored my doubts. I regret taking hormones because the online groups I was in silenced any critical discussion. I found peace by leaving those spaces and focusing on my life without any labels. Now, I'm deeply worried about how quickly young people are being pushed into irreversible treatments.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and confusing. For many years, I was a butch lesbian and felt comfortable in that identity. But over time, I started feeling a lot of pressure from the world around me. It seemed like if you were a masculine woman, the immediate assumption was that you must be a trans man. The idea of just being a masculine woman or a butch felt like it was being erased. The same thing seemed to happen to feminine men; everyone assumed they must be trans women instead of just feminine men. This societal shift really bothered me and got into my head.
I eventually became convinced that I was a trans man and started testosterone. Almost right away, I began to have doubts. I started wondering how many of my feelings were truly my own and how much I was just being swept up in this powerful current. The process felt way too fast. I got my approval for hormones from an endocrinologist with barely any discussion. The negatives, like health risks, were never really talked about. It was all presented as positive.
Getting approval for top surgery was also shockingly easy. I had a 45-minute Zoom call with a psychiatrist who spent most of the time talking about themselves. I was approved immediately. I had thought about top surgery for over a decade, so I felt sure about it for myself, but I was alarmed by how quick and superficial the process was. The same psychiatrist then tried to push me into getting bottom surgery, which I never wanted. I had to argue with them about it. It scared me to think about where I'd be if I was less sure of myself and had just followed that doctor's advice.
I don't regret my top surgery. I thought about it for a very long time and I'm happy with it. But I do have regrets about taking testosterone. The trans groups I was in only glorified the positive effects and would bash or delete anyone who mentioned negative side effects or doubts. This felt oppressive and unhealthy. It created an environment where you couldn't think critically.
I started to see that constantly being in these online trans groups was a big part of the problem. They push you hard to transition and if you have any doubts, you're shut out. It's like if you only hang out in boating groups, you'll only think about boating. I realized I needed to get away from these spaces and all the labels. I became disgusted with the unhealthy advice and the pressure to continue no matter what.
What helped me most was to stop making my whole life about transition or detransition. I became less stressed when I became less obsessed with it. I focused on other interests and just tried to live my life. I found a lot of peace in accepting that I don't need a perfect label to describe myself. I'm happier now than when I was trying to cram myself into a specific gender box.
I am deeply concerned about how young people are being treated. I think puberty blockers can be okay because they're reversible, but I strongly disagree with giving hormones or surgery to minors. I've seen parents in groups asking how to help their kids pass the psychological tests for surgery, and I've heard of kids as young as 13 having irreversible procedures. I believe therapists should be allowed to explore other possibilities, like maybe a feminine boy is just a feminine boy, or a masculine girl is a proud butch woman, instead of immediately affirming a trans identity. We're wiping out whole groups of people.
My main thought on gender now is that it's become too simplified and rushed. The system has swung from being overly strict to handing out life-altering treatments after a single video call. We need to slow down and allow for more exploration without pressure. We need to make space for feminine men and masculine women to exist without being told they must be trans.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Not specified) | (Not specified) | Identified as a butch lesbian for many years. |
| (Not specified) | (Not specified) | Became convinced I was a trans man. |
| (Not specified) | (Not specified) | Started testosterone (T). Almost immediately began having doubts. |
| (Adult) | (Not specified) | Had top surgery after contemplating it for over a decade. |
| (Not specified) | 2025 | Had a 45-minute Zoom psych appointment; was immediately approved for top surgery. Psych tried to push me into bottom surgery. |
| (Present) | (Now) | Stopped T. Happy with top surgery, but have regrets about hormones. No longer involved in trans groups, focusing on living life without strict labels. |
Top Comments by /u/This_Possession8867:
You definitely can’t breast feed after top surgery. You obviously just went into this blindly and clueless. The nipples are totally removed from your body, resized and sewn back on to your body. How the heck could you breast feed from detached nipples.
It’s good you postponed your surgery. Your way uninformed.
And BTW, I had top surgery so I know what I’m talking about.
Grow up first. Your very uninformed.
Also I waited many years to be sure. This wasn’t a quick decision. It was a decade of thought & research. I’m much older than you. Just wait.
You look female but a lot of this is wearing women’s type glasses and women’s hair styles & clothes. You also neatly trim your eyebrows. So people gather all the gender clues quickly. So why make this so difficult for yourself by giving female clocking messages with what you wear or how you groom yourself? Not trying to be rude just pointing out few men neatly groom eyebrows yet want to look more masc.
Constantly living in the past isn’t good moving forward. Reminds me of a 87 year old neighbor who has screaming fits and blames it on her mother who has been dead for 55 years. At some point, especially with being a parent it’s time to turn the page. We only have now. There is a good book on this by Elkhart Tolle.
Also maybe get out of all the trans and even detrans groups. Live your lives. All this labelling gets so overwhelming. I became disgusted with how in trans groups no matter what is said people push the person to continue to transition. It’s some of the most unhealthy advice on there. Why are they so phobic if a person stops hormones why the hyper you must continue with frantic undertones. Enjoy your baby when it arrives and live. What is meant to be will unfold naturally one way or another. We can never predict the future.
I think there are wide swings in the system. At first it was at least a year of scrutiny and being at the whim of others. Now it’s as you said 30 minute zoom meeting is what I had where the therapist feed me the answers to qualify. Also suggested I could get bottom surgery if I did a second call and did I want to schedule the next zoom appt. Had to argue with the therapist that I didn’t want bottom surgery. What if I was super not knowing myself, where would I be?
You are basically in nothing but trans groups. So let me point something out. If you were in nothing but boating groups you would have a focus on boating. See what I’m saying? Trans groups will push you hard to transition and befriend you & when you have any doubts they will block you. So as others said get more interest’s! Also have you considered maybe you are an effeminate man or gay? Nothing wrong with this. So and sadly culture is now if you feel this way you are a trans woman as it’s more pushed (because big Pharma & medical community) can make make tons of money off your insurance or you. They can’t make any money off of you being gay or an effeminate straight man. Just thoughts.
Describing who I am. I personally had top surgery but it was decades before I decided to and I’m happy I did. What upsets me is HRT, they withhold all the facts. Also FTM or MTF groups glorify all the chosen traits and never mention the negatives and your bashed if you mention them. I become upset when I read about children having irreversible surgeries. Somewhere a 13 year old was having bottom surgery and I can’t wrap my head around this. Blockers that can delay puberty, ok. Hormones, no.
Also I think therapists are as you say a feminine boy is told they are a girl. A butch girl is a man. We are wiping out a whole group of people where therapists are not allowed to even suggest, hey your a masculine proud woman or feminine proud man.
I can relate to what your saying. I’m so confused too. What I wonder is why as soon as a AFAB feels masculine your immediately pushed towards being a transman and never is it mentioned you might just be a very masculine woman or a butch? Or if a AMAB is feminine it’s assumed by society now the person is a trans woman. As if being a very feminine man isn’t a possibility.
Why is this now!
For many years I identified as lesbian butch. But then became convinced I’m a trans man. Now I started T but thinking I want off of it. I don’t know how much of what I feel now are my own thoughts or being swept up into something.
Actually no that’s not true. With parental approval as young as 13 or 14 in rare occasions. I know, I had the surgery as an adult but in the transition groups there were a few very very young people who had the surgery. Or their parents asking how to help their kid pass the psych test. I really don’t agree with surgery before 18. The hormone blockers yes because that’s reversible but surgery no. I do feel this person is wrong to sue. The surgeons that do these surgeries are very compassionate people dedicated to helping you with a better life. There are checks through the whole process and unfortunately I see all the time younger people asking how to answer the questions. If they don’t know deeply within their soul who they are delay the process, don’t ask others how to beat the system to get the surgery and then whine about you got what you specifically asked for.
It’s a lot more complex. I’m a person who went through the process and in my opinion this person either lied to the Dr or both the Dr and their self to pass the test. I know what I was asked and I also can say it’s a long, hard road to choose and your well aware. I’ve known people denied this surgery for mental health issues. This person also takes T but no mention of a lawsuit concerning this choice.
I don’t think any elective surgery makes 100% of the people happy 100% of the time.
What I question is parents who allow under 18 to do this. Read about people as young as 13.
No it’s an extremely fast OK. I received my OK for top surgery with a 45 minute zoom with psych and that psych dr basically talked about themselves for at least 30 min of my appt. I then got the approval immediately. Hormones, I just asked and that was it with an endocrinologist. I didn’t want bottom surgery but the psych doctor talked me into doing another zoom (in case I changed my mind). And then I received the OK for bottom surgery which of course I never wanted nor did it. I’m personally happy with my top surgery but understand I contemplated it for about a decade. The hormones not so happy because none of the negative aspects was discussed, really is hushed up on any trans groups. Was all just the positives. When you say anything not 100% supportive in trans groups you are deleted or ridiculed. They oppress any opinions contrary! I don’t like that I had a psych dr pushing me to get bottom surgery. This was never on my radar. And if I didn’t truly know myself my guess would be I followed this dr advice to do it.