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Reddit user /u/Throwaway_yawaworh1's Detransition Story

female
internalised homophobia
regrets transitioning
escapism
influenced online
only transitioned socially
bisexual
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic.

The user's perspective is consistent with a desister's experience: they express personal trauma, anger at feeling "groomed," and alienation from the LGBTQ+ community. The tone is passionate and emotional, which aligns with a genuine individual who feels harmed. The comments reference a specific personal detail (living in Iran) and express nuanced, if strong, opinions.

There is no evidence of bot-like behavior (e.g., repetitive, nonsensical, or off-topic posts). The account appears to be a real person expressing a viewpoint common on the /r/detrans subreddit.

About me

I'm a woman from Iran who was groomed online into believing my discomfort with misogyny meant I was a man. I almost medically transitioned to escape societal shame, which I now see would have been a terrible mistake. When I realized I was just a masculine woman and detransitioned, my former community bullied and abandoned me. I regret the mental anguish and lost time, but I've found true self-acceptance. I now believe we should break gender stereotypes, not our healthy bodies.

My detransition story

Of course. Here is a summary of my experience based on my comments.

My journey into thinking I was transgender didn't start with a deep childhood feeling of being in the wrong body. For me, it began when I was a teenager and became aware of how harshly the world treats people who don't fit gender stereotypes, especially women. I'm bisexual, and when I entered online LGBT communities looking for acceptance, I found something different. I now feel I was groomed into believing that my discomfort with sexism and my dislike of stereotypes meant I must be a man.

It was a form of escapism. I was uncomfortable with the misogyny I saw and the pressures placed on women, and the community I found presented transition as the brave and enlightened solution. They made it seem like fighting to be accepted as a gender-nonconforming woman was a losing battle, and that medically transitioning was the real way to rebel and love yourself. I see now that this was a lie. We should be fighting for the right to be ourselves without having to change our bodies.

I never had any surgeries or took hormones, which I am profoundly grateful for now. I came very close to believing that was the path I needed to take. I learned the hard way that these procedures aren't simple or reversible like a tattoo; they damage healthy, functioning organs in a way the body sees as a wound. It's terrifying to think how close I came to that because of online pressure.

The most painful part has been the reaction from the very people who encouraged me. When I started to question things and eventually realized I wasn't trans, I was met with anger and bullying. I was called transphobic and a TERF just for saying that a child wearing clothes typically meant for the opposite sex doesn't automatically mean they are trans. I've been bullied online by people in their 20s and 30s for having these thoughts. They convinced me I was trans, but then abandoned and shamed me when I regretted that decision, even blaming me for making them look bad.

I live in Iran, a country that is incredibly hostile to gender-nonconforming people but weirdly supportive of medical transition. It creates a situation where you feel pressured into changing your body to escape shame, rather than being accepted for who you are. I hate that I was forced to feel that way.

I don't regret my journey because it led me to a place of self-acceptance, but I deeply regret ever being influenced into thinking I was trans. I regret the time I lost and the mental anguish I went through. I am just a woman who doesn't like stereotypes, and that's okay. My thoughts on gender are that it is a social set of rules that we should break, not a medical condition we need to fix. I'm fighting for my right to be a masculine woman, not for a right to become a man.

Age Event
Teenager Began to notice misogyny and societal pressures on women. Felt discomfort with gender stereotypes.
Teenager Joined online LGBT communities as a bisexual person. Felt groomed into believing my discomfort meant I was transgender.
Teenager Realized I was not trans, but a gender-nonconforming woman. Began to desist from identifying as trans.
Teenager Faced bullying and abandonment from former community for changing my views and desisting.

Top Comments by /u/Throwaway_yawaworh1:

8 comments • Posting since December 21, 2022
Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) explains the paradox of being called transphobic for self-acceptance and discusses the grooming of young people into gender ideology.
57 pointsDec 30, 2022
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The thing is that they encourage you to love yourself for "who you are" but then when you accept yourself for who you actually are, you are apparently transphobic.

I feel sad for teenagers and even literal children who are groomed into this thing, but I cannot do anything because they are guarded by their adult groomers.

I have been bullied by people in their 30s and 20s over this, just over saying a kid politely that crossdressing does not mean being trans.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) compares tattoos to gender surgery, arguing that surgically altering a healthy organ creates a permanent, harmful wound.
18 pointsDec 30, 2022
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Tattoo..... Lol. Tattoo is just an artifical skin mark which could be erased by laser, it may remain a little but it is not going to be harmful most of time. But gender surgery literally damages a functioning organ into something which body treats as literal wound. It is enraging to see those people think sex organs are just like cancer and need to be get rid of, like just shut up jfc.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) explains how in Iran, GNC people are shamed while medical transition is supported, and argues for fighting gender stereotypes instead of transitioning.
16 pointsDec 26, 2022
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I 100% relate to this and it is painful. The country I live in (Iran) hates and shames GNC people but they are so so supportive of people who decide to transition and damage their bodies :)

I hate being forced to follow a stereotype too, but I learned it the hard way that we should fight for our rights rather than accepting it and transitioning.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) explains how some partners convince others they are transgender, only to later blame them and abandon them when they regret the decision.
14 pointsDec 21, 2022
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Yeah that is the truth unfortunately, convincing you that you are transgender and then not only leaving you when they regret your decision but also throw a lot of tantrum and tell you how it was your fault and how you are painting them a bad image etc etc.

This is understandable and just wanted to say you are not alone, there are other people here or in real life who have same condition as you.

I cannot help because I am just a desister but hope you will get away with your situation and things get better for you.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) comments on feeling alienated as an artist by the prevalence of LGBTQ+ flags and the glorification of disorders in online art communities.
8 pointsDec 29, 2022
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As an artist myself, it really feels bad, I see them making everything political,.burried in LGBTQ+ flags (honestly it is okay to be LGB and.... Probably T? but really does not need to be shoved in others' faces) or glorifying mental/physical disorders and it makes me do nothing but frown inside. I wish I could find anyone like myself. Feels lonely when I find myself like this.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) explains why they can't criticize the trans community without being labeled a transphobic, TERF, or Republican, and discusses the trauma caused by what they call an intolerant "cult."
5 pointsDec 27, 2022
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Yeah, unfortunately if I voice over this I will be called a transphobic. I am sad about the people who are being groomed into thinking they are born in the wrong body, but nobody could call it out without being called a terf, republican or transphobic.

People who are pushing this cult are strangely intolerant despite claiming to be the most tolerant and accepting lol. This is why I started disliking SJWs (not even hate) because of the trauma they brought me, yet they shame me for being anti-SJW (which I am even not) and making fun of my sence of joke.

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) comments about being groomed by the LGBT community and links her gender questioning to experiencing misogyny and teenhood trauma.
5 pointsDec 27, 2022
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Where is my unicorn? :D I did not have serious trauma during childhood, however what got me into thinking I was trans when I noticed about mysoginy and entering the LGBT community since I am Bi and getting groomed by them.... Teenhood trauma technically?

Reddit user Throwaway_yawaworh1 (desisted female) comments that consent for medical transition requires a stable mind, arguing that adults can be too immature, naive, or unstable to give meaningful consent.
4 pointsDec 23, 2022
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I definitelly agree with you. I am quite baffled when people say "they are an adult so they can always consent" ignoring the fact that an adult can be immature, naive or unstable too.

I did mean that type of consent which is done with stable mind though. But I do not really know if people with stable mind consent to such thing at first place.